


I'll Be Next To You

by L_Leonhardt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And it's up to the 104 to Find Out, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Depressed Eren Yeager, Eren Has a Secret, Erwin Smith Being an Asshole, Everyone Loves Eren Yeager, Exploitation, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gen Work, He's a Piece of Shit in this Story, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Marco Bott is a Sweetheart, Poor Eren Yeager, Poverty, Professor Erwin Smith, Reincarnation, Sugar dating, Suicide Attempt, Supportive 104, Supportive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Team as Family, if you like him you probably shouldn't read it, no seriously, they're all supportive in this fic okay fuck canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21410158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Leonhardt/pseuds/L_Leonhardt
Summary: Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie and Sasha all find themselves reincarnated with memories of their past lives.After years of wondering where Eren could be, one day in class he gets introduced as the new student. He has a hopeful smile on his face and no memories of his past life. A radiant smile that starts vanishing as the weeks go by...This time, his friends aren't going to stand and watch their friend get consumed by his own sadness.This time, they will be next to him.
Relationships: Eren Yeager & 104th Training Corps, Eren Yeager & Everyone, Marco Bott & Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Eren Yeager
Comments: 63
Kudos: 201





	1. Where is He?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very self-indulgent fic that I decided to write a few days after I read 123. It was born from my disappointment in Eren’s treatment from his friends. Their neglect towards his feelings left me bitter, saddened and mad. So I wrote this. Probably not one of my best works. Hope you’ll still find it enjoyable anyway.

Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman, were best friends joined at the hip. The typical pair of childhood friends who grew up together and were basically like twins. But they had something far deeper that connected them: they both had memories of their past lives.

A life they had spent mostly in the military, during times much grimmer than the ones they were living in now. They had friends in that life, who just like them, had reincarnated and were given a second chance at happiness. Unknown to Armin and Mikasa, some of those friends were just like them.

Finding their other friends who remembered, had been a journey that started with Sasha Braus. Before middle school began, Armin and Mikasa went to buy the textbooks they needed, and that’s where they saw Sasha again for the first time. Mikasa couldn’t refrain herself from running to her and hugging her tight. Armin was already trying to come up with a plausible explanation, when…

“Mikasa… Armin…” Sasha breathed with teary eyes. Armin joined in the hug and tears, while strangers in the bookstore where left wondering why those three kids were crying.

When school began, the trio saw Jean and Connie at the entrance ceremony. The two were looking at them with teary eyes. The other three smiled at the boys, who were staring with a bewildered expression. Armin nodded, and everything became clear to the two. There were no words needed to let the others know they still remembered what bonded all of them. And so all five joined in a group hug, once again shedding a valley of tears and soliciting the curiosity and worry of the people around them.

When that same day they found Historia, they all bowed down and said, “My Queen.”

“It’s been thousands of years and I still haven’t gotten used to that.” Historia tried to laugh it off, but the tears flew freely on her smiling face.

Years went by, and during those middle school times, they had found many other people from their past lives.

Mina.

Thomas.

Hannah.

Franz.

Samuel.

Milius.

Nack.

Daz.

Marlo.

Hitch.

And most importantly, Ymir and Marco. All went to their same school. Even three of the veterans worked at their school. Hanji was their chemistry teacher, Erwin their History and Literature teacher. While Levi, surprise surprise, was the clean freak janitor.

Sometimes, they had passed by a few of the other veterans on the street. They once met Reiner and Bertholdt at a football match, Pieck and Annie at a concert. Kaya and Louise at the carnival. Gabi and Falco at the park.

And none of them seemed to remember.

It was sad, yes. But there were things that were much sadder. One person in particular was missing from their roll call:

Eren.

Ever since childhood, it had been Armin and Mikasa’s greatest grief, that Eren wasn’t with them. For years they had wondered, was that their karma? To have Eren stripped from them? Was he better off without them?

It was almost like the universe was continuing what it had begun in their previous life; Distancing Eren from them.

There was nothing that created them greater distress, not knowing where Eren was, not knowing if he was even okay. Even the others wondered that.

“And Eren? Where is he?” Was the second thing that Sasha said when they met again. Jean and Connie too were surprised at not seeing him by their side.

And their looked for him, oh if they did. But this time, they did not find him befriending refugees or executing attacks on enemy cities. 

Years of fruitless researches left them with little hopes. And their ignorance about Eren’s whereabouts, on top of their guilt for how things ended in their previous life, still gnawed at them to this very day.

Until one morning, the miracle happened.

Their chemistry teacher, the eccentric Hanji Zoe, entered the class with Eren Jäger in flesh and bones.

“Okay class, today a new student will be joining us.”

They couldn’t believe he was there, right in front of their eyes. Armin turned around to smile at Mikasa, such an overwhelmed smile that the girl only saw him wearing once; when they first saw the ocean. Sasha and Connie were high fiving each other, while Jean had this absolutely incredulous expression painted on his face.

Eren was so different from the last time they’d see him. He was radiating light, with his bright green eyes, his rosy cheeks and a timid smile.

“His name is Eren Yeeger.” The six of them cringed at the mispronunciation.

“It’s pronounced Jäger.” The brunet corrected them.

“Oh right, Jäger! Sorry. You may take a seat wherever you like.”

There were only two unoccupied desks in their class, one next to Mikasa, and the other next to Marco Bodt. Mikasa usually put her bag on that desk, but she eagerly freed it to offer that spot to Eren.

The boy didn’t even notice that gesture. He and Marco waved at each other as he went to take the seat next to him, then the two boys started talking enthusiastically.

Mikasa was dumbfounded. So were the others. Not on the same level as her, and surely not for the same reason, but they did feel confused. Did Marco and Eren already know each other? From the way they were chatting and smiling, talking about things only they seemed to know, it appears it was so. But how? Most importantly, how did they not know about it? Marco was their friend too, so how come they never run into Eren?

He had been so close to them the whole time. And yet, they had never met before.

Mikasa gawked at Eren, looking for eye contact. When their eyes finally did meet, she smiled at him with fondness and warmth. Her eyes were bright with tears, and she looked at him expectantly. Eren seemed a bit weirded out, furrowing his eyebrows ever so slightly, but he smiled at her politely, nonetheless.

Politeness.

That was all Mikasa got. She had been dreaming of this moment her whole life, and Eren was smiling at her like you smiled at a stranger.

Armin had never seen her so heartbroken.

* * *

“I don’t think he remembers.” Connie concluded, when after the end of the lesson, they gathered around Armin’s locker to talk about what just happened.

“He does. He has to…” Mikasa’s eyes were unfocused. She was uttering those words to convince herself, rather than the others.

“Mikasa, I’m sorry to say this, but you shouldn’t get your hopes up.” Armin said, cautiously.

“He remembers! There’s no way he doesn’t remember.”

“Marco and the others don’t remember either. So why should he?” Jean questioned.

“Yeah… And if everything that happened after…” Sasha hesitated, the phantom pain in her chest almost blocking her airways.

“After Marley, is true… wouldn’t it be better for him if he doesn’t remember?”

“She has a point.” Jean said.

“No! He remembers.”

Before Mikasa could start freaking out, Armin intervened, “You know what? Let’s invite him to eat with us at lunch. Let’s tell him things with hints he would only pick up if he remembered. That way, we’ll know for sure.”

Connie gave the blonde a vigorous pat on the back, “Armin, you little genius!”


	2. Hopes and Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I really let a month pass before updating?  
I am the worst.  
I hope this chapter was worth the wait for you, guys.  
Enjoy :)

The lessons that morning went by painfully slow. They wanted to try and approach Eren during class, but the boy was completely immersed in the lessons. He listened carefully to every word coming out of the teachers’ mouths, taking notes diligently. It seemed like getting the best grades was all that mattered in his life in that moment. He had that fire in his eyes, that nostalgic fire his old friends knew too well.

The others couldn’t help but feel their Eren, the one they once knew, was finally back. With his tenacity and his determination, his sparkling green eyes and messy brown hair.

Unlike him, someone else could barely pay attention to class that day.

Yes, their Eren was finally back. But a dark haze clouded Mikasa’s heart and mind. He was back, but for how long? When was the world going to snap him away again? Depriving him of his light, of his happiness?

Part of her wanted to glue herself to him and never let him go to prevent that from happening. But she knew Eren never liked being smothered in their past life. He hated it, in fact. And the last thing she wanted was to make him hate her too. But how was she supposed to approach him? She still wanted to be his friend, to be close to him. How could she do that without ending up suffocating him with her attentions?

“Ackerman, pay attention!” The teacher’s thundering voice scared her out of her thoughts.

“I-I’m sorry professor Keith…” She said, meekly. She lowered her head on her notebook and decided not to look at Eren for the rest of the lesson.

Seeing her so disheartened, Armin started writing a little note. While the teacher wasn’t looking, he quickly put the crumpled piece of paper on her desk;

It’s okay, Mikasa. We’re going to talk to him at lunch! 😊

Mikasa felt a pang in her chest. The situation was too familiar. It was just like after Marley, when they were waiting, anticipating the moment when they could finally talk to Eren face to face after months, and when it happened… things didn’t go exactly well.

But Armin clearly wasn’t seeing it like she was. He even put a smiley at the end of the note. How was Armin so hopeful? She wished she could borrow some of that. But all the hope she had vanished when Eren looked at her like she was a stranger.

*

Lunch break had finally arrived. Since it was a lovely sunny day, many students were having lunch outside. So were Mikasa and the others, sitting on the grass with their unopened bento boxes on their laps.

“There are Marco and Eren!” Connie said, pointing out at the two boys who had just stepped foot outside, with their bento boxes in hands and chatting animatedly.

“Okay, I’m going to ask them.” Jean said, getting up from the grass. Before he headed for the two boys, he turned around and look at his friends to advise them.

“Try not to look at him like he’s... you know. Especially you, Mikasa.”

With that, he left to approach the two boys.

“Hey, Marco! Hi Eren. Your name is Eren, right?”

“Yeah.” He said with a bright and friendly smile, “And you’re…?”

“Jean Kirschtein.” He introduced himself. Before he could say anything else, Sasha and Connie arrived, uninvited, to join the conversation.

“But friends call him horse face!” She ruffled his hair while both her and Connie pounced on him and hugged him from each of his sides.

“Oh shut up, potato girl!”

“Don’t call her potato girl, Jeanny boy!” Connie exclaimed.

The three weren’t actually offended by the nickname exchange, they just used them to see what kind of reaction Eren would have. But the brunet was simply giggling while Marco casted him an apologetic look.

“Guys, you don’t mind if Eren joins us for lunch, right?” He asked, as they were done bickering.

“I was actually about to invite him before these two doofuses showed up.”

“Oh, that’s great! Isn’t it, Eren?” Marco said to Eren, but the latter wasn’t even looking at them. His gaze was far-off, looking at someone in the distance. His eyes lighted up, and the corners of his mouth curled in a faint smile.

“Excuse me guys, I need to talk to Professor Smith for a minute.”

“Oh, okay. Come sit with us when you’re done?”

“Sure!”

The blonde man was talking to a colleague when the brunet came behind him and poked him on the shoulder with two fingers. When the man turned around, he was pleasantly surprised to find Eren and wore a bright smile. Eren’s chuckles chimed like bells in the wind.

Jean, Connie and Sasha looked at the scene, puzzled beyond comprehension. So did Armin and Mikasa, who had gotten up to join the others and Marco.

Well, wasn’t Eren full of surprises. Not only he already knew Marco, but he also already knew Professor Smith. It seemed like the only people he didn’t know in this life, were them.

“He seems to be well acquainted with the Professor.” Armin commented, hoping to get some more information from Marco.

“From what I know, he’s like a mentor to Eren. He helped him being reinstated at school, y’know with documents and all that bureaucratic stuff.”

“Reinstated?”

“Yeah, he had to drop out of school a year ago. I won’t give you guys the details since it’s his personal life, but he managed to catch up to more than a year of school in just a few months. He studied so hard you wouldn’t believe it.”

Oh, but they did. They knew better than anyone just how stubborn and dedicated Eren was to his causes.

“Hey Marco, how do you know him?” Jean asked, curiosity devouring him, as well as the others.

“I met him at cram school. I wanted to introduce you guys before, but like I said he stayed on books all day long and didn’t have time to hang out.”

“You never mentioned him to us before.” Mikasa said, in a slightly accusatory tone.

“I know, I just didn’t want him to feel obliged to hang out and neglect studying. Finishing high school is very important to him.”

“I can tell, he didn’t stop taking notes for one second this morning, not even to have a snack.” Sasha commented. While waiting for Eren to be done, the group went to sit on the grass.

“Guys, I need to ask you just one thing,” Marco said, lowering his tone of voice.

“Don’t ask Eren why he had to leave school, okay? It’s a pretty delicate situation, he might not be ready to share it with all of you yet.”

“Do you know about it?” Mikasa asked with the same tone as before, even if she tried to contain herself. She couldn’t help it, she knew it wasn’t Marco’s fault, but the thought that he was closer to Eren that her and Armin were just made her blood boil in her veins.

“We’ve been studying together for months, I was the only friend he had. Of course he told me.”

Mikasa felt guilt and shame for her previous behavior pervading her. She only thought about how she felt, when she should’ve been grateful that Eren had at least a friend to help him with whatever he had been going through.

Once he had finished talking to the Professor, Eren joined the others on the green grass, sitting between Marco and Armin. Everyone from the group still had to open their bento boxes.

“I’m sorry guys, you didn’t have to wait for me to start eating.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Sasha of all people reassured him.

“Who are you and what have you done with Sasha?” Connie asked, dumbfounded.

“Oh c’mon! I’m just being nice to the new guy!”

“Don’t expect this courtesy from her again.” Armin murmured to him, with a chuckle.

“I’m Armin, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Guys, don’t you think you should introduce yourselves too?” Jean said.

“Oh right! I’m Connie.”

“I’m Mikasa. Nice to meet you.”

“And I’m Sasha!”

“Be careful to this one, she likes food a bit too much and she’s always hungry.” Connie warned him.

“Hey!”

“One of these days she will eat you too if you’re not careful.” Jean commented.

“And assimilate any special talent you may have.” Connie continued. They were alluding to the Titans having to eat other shifters to gain their powers, something they were dead sure would evoke some kind of reaction in Eren. But the boy only looked perplexed.

“Is that an inside joke? I don’t get it.”

“I’m as lost as you.” Marco said.

“Y-Yeah, our sense of humor is kind of unique, you’ll get used to it!” Armin said, trying to at least save their dignity and not make them look like complete fools, now that they were certain the boy didn’t remember.

Jean looked at Mikasa. She had her eyes fixated on her food, looking like a sad kitten. It looked like she had finally accepted that Eren didn’t remember. He didn’t remember them, what they’ve been through together, and the world that existed before their own. Before the current world Eren himself helped to build.

“So Eren, where are you from?” Armin asked.

“Shiganshina, originally. I’ve been in a lot of places in the last years but moved here just a year ago.”

“Really? I’ve never seen you around, and the town is small.” Connie said.

“I couldn’t really go out much…” He said, with a shy smile on his face but the faintest hint of sadness in his voice. His eyes however, betrayed him. All the grief of his past was reflected in those eyes, that he diverted so he wouldn’t let the others see.

“How come?” Mikasa asked.

“That’s enough guys, leave him alone.” Marco said in a reproachful tone.

“It’s okay Marco,” Eren said, “I think it’s normal being curious about the new guy.”

“No, Marco’s right. You guys are being too nosy.” Jean, like Marco, reprimanded their friends.

“We’re sorry…”

“It’s okay, really.” Eren told them, with a reassuring sweet smile. Has Eren’s smile always been this radiant? The Eren standing in front of them now was so full of life. He was reborn, literally, in every way possible. His lips and cheeks were rosy, and his skin had a healthy glow to it. When was the last time they had seen him looking so happy? The Eren in their memories was pale, with dark circles and lines under his eyes. He was sad, tired and angry… and in his last days.

In any case, now they knew better than to take that smile for granted. 

“So, are you guys in any club?” He asked, changing the subject to their great relief, “I was thinking about joining the drama club, for extra credits.”

“No.” Mikasa said, and everyone turned to look at her. All the small hints they had dropped before didn’t work. They were way too sneaky. Mikasa knew they needed something more effective, and the opportunity had finally presented.

“You shouldn’t. That would be like social _suicide_.” She concluded. Armin understood what she was doing, and soon joined to support her.

“Yeah, you’re kind of a _suicidal blockhead_, aren’t you?”

Marco’s eyes widened slightly. Eren giggled.

“I don’t think it would be that bad, I don’t really care about being popular anyway.”

They didn’t elicit the reaction they had expected from Eren, but Jean on the other hand was tearing up.

“Whoa Jean, you okay?” Sasha asked.

“Yeah, I’m… I got something in my eye…!” He tried to justify himself before storming away. Marco was about to go after him, but Sasha stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll go.” She said.

When Eren looked at the others, he noticed they all had glossy eyes.

“Are you guys okay? Did something happen?” He asked, slightly worried.

“Yeah, don’t worry about us! We’re fine.” Armin reassured him, hoping he would buy it and inquire no more.

“Are you? You all seem like you’re about to cry, right Marco?”

“It’s seasonal allergy.” Mikasa found a perfect explanation, but was Eren going to believe it?

“Oh, okay.”

_He bought it! _They all sighed in relief, and still couldn’t help but internally facepalm. 

“By the way, we’re crashing at Jean’s place this afternoon, wanna come?” Connie asked him.

“I’d love to but I have to study.”

“Oh c’mon, it’ll be fun!”

“I don’t doubt it, but if don’t finish these assignments now I won’t have free time in the weekend.”

“You’re thinking that far ahead?” Mikasa observed.

“Yeah, uhm… I have plans for the weekend.”

“So you can’t hang out even in the weekend?” Armin asked, almost dismayed. If he insisted on studying all the time, then when were they going to reconnect and make up for all the time they had lost? Both in this life and the previous one?

“I’m free in the morning.” He informed them.

“Great! What do you say we hang out then?”

“Sure, I’d love too.”

*

If Sasha knew Jean, she would find him near the fountain in the back of the school, where no one could see him cry. And as expected, there he was, splashing his face with the cold water. She put a hand on his shoulder, to make her presence known.

“Hey…”

“Do you know what the last thing I said to him was?” Jean’s voice became brittle. He sounded like he was about to get something off his chest, and Sasha was ready to listen.

“It was right after Gabi shoot you. I blamed him for what happened, I blamed him…!” Sasha hugged him as he broke into tears.

“That was the last thing he heard from me before… before we…!”

“It’s okay, Jean… We all have regrets. We’ve got a second chance now.”

*

“So, what did you think of the others?” Marco asked Eren, on their way back from school.

“They’re nice, even if sometimes they look at me funny. Especially that girl, Mikasa.”

“She’s just a little bit shy, but you’ll see she’s really cool when you get to know her.”

“I guess so.”

“I think you’ve made quite an impression on the first day. Most new students have this frightened, dumbfounded look on their faces, but you walked in happy and wearing a smile. People like that kind of confidence.”

Eren blushed and looked away shily, “You think so?”

“Yeah! I can already tell you’ll be popular.”

“I don’t care about being popular. I just want to get good grades and make some friends.”

Marco chuckled, “I knew you were gonna say that.”

Eren had to say, his first day at school had been great. More than great, in fact. He didn’t remember being so carefree in a long time, being able to study in a class and eat outside with his new friends made him feel like a normal teenager.

And then his father’s words came to mind.

He used to say that it was no good to let one’s guard down. That the worst could come when you least expect it.

“Hey, you alright? You spaced out all of a sudden.”

“I don’t know… I feel like everything’s going way too smoothly, and that something bad will happen soon…”

“Cheer up, Eren. Everything will be fine. And even if it won’t, you’ll always have me by your side. Me and the others.” Marco said, trying to soothe his worries. And judging from Eren’s relieved smile, he succeeded.

“Thank you, Marco.”


	3. Reconnecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took me so damn long. But to compensate, this chapter is longer than the previous two combined. I hope you'll enjoy <3

“I can’t believe Eren came to our school the one day I’m sick at home!” Historia whined, as she walked down the hallways with Mikasa and Armin.

“Just keep in mind he doesn’t remember when you see him, okay?” Armin reminded her.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it!” She said, dismissively.

“Look, he’s there with Jean and Marco.” Mikasa pointed to the three boys who were hanging around near Eren’s locker, chuckling and seemingly having fun together. Historia accelerated her pacing, and she walked up to them in no time flat.

“You must be the new guy, Eren!” She said, without even saying good morning to the other two. Eren looked a little puzzled, but as always he acted polite.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I’m Historia, nice to meet you!”

She pulled him in a bone crushing hug, to the great astonishment of all the others. Mikasa was shooting Historia the look of death, to the great concern of Armin and the others, but the tiny girl didn’t seem bothered by it. It’s not like she didn’t feel the bloodthirsty aura coming from behind her, she was just more focused on her longtime friend she was so happy to see again.

“Hisu, you’re suffocating him.” Sasha, who had just arrived together with Connie, said.

“Oops! I’m so sorry!” She said as she let go of him and so Eren could finally catch his breath.

“Whoa, you’re pretty strong for such a small girl.” The brunet chuckled, while rubbing his sore ribs.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to squeeze you that hard…”

“It’s okay.”

“Did anyone already give you a tour of the school?”

“Professor Smith showed me around a little bit, but I haven’t seen the exterior as much yet.”

Historia swiftly linked her arm with Eren’s, taking the brunet, and all the others, by surprise.

“I’ll show you around before class! Let’s go!” She said as she dragged him outside in the courtyard.

“Wait, class is only ten minutes away.”

“Don’t worry about it! I’m the president of the student council,” She proudly showed him her armband, “teachers won’t say anything to you as long as you’re with me!”

That wasn’t Eren’s main concern, he just didn’t want to miss out on the lessons. But Historia was being so enthusiastic and friendly that he really didn’t find it in him to refuse.

“Guys, we need to talk.” Marco said to the others, once Eren and Historia were outside and away from ear range. Luckily the corridors were empty, for at that hour everyone was already in class, preparing for the lesson. Privacy was what he most needed in that moment, to tell his friends what he needed to.

“What is it, Marco?” Armin asked, a bit of apprehension in his voice. Something told him that whatever he was going to tell them, it had something to do with Eren.

“Yesterday, you guys called Eren a _suicidal blockhead_. It was done on purpose, wasn’t it?”

Jean’s eyes narrowed, “Wait, what do you mean?” 

Marco was looking at him dead in the eye, “You know what I mean.”

There was a tinge of fear mixed with gravity in his voice, together with other emotions the others couldn’t quite grasp. Still, the message was very clear, like a crystal in the sun.

“Marco, you remember too?!”

“Yeah…” He said with tears in his eyes and a tentative smile that held words of sorrow. Jean was the first to run and hug him, followed by a tearful but smiling Sasha and Connie. It wasn’t like they never hugged before, but this time? This was special. Especially for Jean. He had been waiting too long for that moment. Way too long.

Armin and Mikasa joined the hug, although the latter did it reluctantly.

“But… You never said anything. Why?” Jean asked, once they separated.

“I just wasn’t sure. I’ve also been in denial about my memories for the longest time… deep down, I wanted it all to be just a bad dream.”

None of them could really blame him. It was true that their memories strengthened their bond in this life, but certain memories still haunted them, drowning them in their nightmares.

Mikasa felt hope shining brightly inside of her once again, “But then… Maybe Eren remembers too.”

“He doesn’t, I’ll spare you the trouble of trying to find it out,” Marco had to cut her off, to his chagrin, “I’ve tried using the same tricks as you guys when I first met him.”

“Really? What did you do?” Armin asked.

“I drew the survey corps’ emblem. When I showed it to him, he just said it was cool. He didn’t have any other reaction.”

“That’s it? It doesn’t mean anything!”

“No, Mikasa. It means everything.” Jean intervened. She couldn’t keep fueling hopeless dreams. It was better for her to accept the truth as soon as possible. Even if her teary eyes broke his heart. Sasha went over to the tearful girl, wrapped one arm around her shoulder and started softly rubbing her arm.

“Mika, I think it’s time to let go.” She said, as the raven haired finally spilled her silent tears.

After what Marco had told them, there was just no more doubt about it. Eren, their Eren, wasn’t like them. He didn’t receive the curse that was also a blessing. They knew how much Eren was in love with those wings. If he truly retained his memories of that far away past, there was no way he wasn’t going to freak out if he saw Marco drawing those wings. The emblem of freedom. Of everything he’s always believed and fought for. If he remembered, he would’ve asked Marco endless questions. He would’ve asked where that was from. He would’ve wanted to know, desperately, if Marco remembered too. A heartfelt reunion would’ve followed.

But none of that happened.

Marco didn’t really mind. The peaceful reunion they had that day, when they met at cram school... It wasn’t what he, or anyone, would’ve hoped for, but it was certainly the one both their souls needed. There were no tears, no screams, no desperate hugs, those of that kind when you’re so distraught by the thought of that person leaving your side again, that you’ll literally cling to them until breaking their bones.

Instead, there were only the two of them. Side by side, calm instilled in their hearts, and a kind of happiness that didn’t need to be loud.

*

Historia and Eren arrived in class five minutes late. What killed Mikasa was seeing him arm in arm with her, laughing heartily together. What gave her strength, was the smile shining brightly on Eren’s face.

*

The first week flew by. They always spent time with Eren before school and during lunchtime. Even if overall he still seemed to be closer to Marco than the rest of them, they knew it was only a matter of time before they went back to be the team they once were.

Jean was currently thinking about it, while lying on his bed. Everyone had expected for him and Eren to go back to their old antics, their fights, their affectionate bickering and tsundere attitudes. But he barely interacted with Eren all week. Just like Mikasa, he unconsciously avoided him. Sometimes, he caught himself starting at him. He just didn’t know how to feel about him. He had no doubt he loved him as a friend, but… there was so much of his own grief he had to deal with. Having Marco, having Eren back in his life… it was nice, yes. He had always thought he would feel an endless relief after finding them. Why then, was he feeling so conflicted?

He just wanted to shut himself in his room, cry and sleep for a week straight. He turned around and buried his face in the pillow, when he heard his mother calling for him.

“Jeanny boy, your new friend is here!”

Jean groaned in his pillow, and after a few instants, he yelled, “I’m coming!”

*

Marco, Connie, Armin and Eren were supposed to all come to his house to play videogames, that morning. Since his mother had said his _new_ friend was there, the first to arrive could be no other than Eren. And when he went downstairs, there he was, sitting at the living room’s table like it was his own house. His mother was offering him some freshly baked chocolate cookies, and they were chatting together almost as if the brunet was her own son.

“Hey Jean! How are you?” Eren asked, stuffing his mouth with a cookie.

“I’m good. How ‘bout you, man?”

“I’m fantastic, these cookies are the end of the world, Mrs. Kirschtein!”

“Aww, thank you Ereh boy. Eat as much as you want, I have some more in the oven.”

Eren didn’t make her repeat her offer twice. He happily stuffed his mouth with the delicious home baked goodies.

“Marco isn’t with you?” Jean asked. It was weird seeing them separated, considering they were glued to each other all the time at school.

Eren gulped the cookies down before answering, “He had to run some errands but he’s on his way.”

“Okay, let’s go wait for the others upstairs.”

“Take these with you, boys.” Jean’s mom said, handing Eren the cookie tin.

“Thank you, Mrs. Kirschtein!”

*

Jean was setting up the gaming console while Eren was sitting on the carpet, happily eating cookies.

“Your mom is so nice.”

“Yeah, when she isn’t annoying as fuck.”

“Hey, be nice to your mother! You don’t realize how lucky you are, man…”

“Your mother doesn’t bake you cookies?” Jean said without thinking, but his comment made the brunet dismayed and upset. He stared at the cookie tin, with glossy eyes.

“My mom is dead.”

Horrible didn’t even begin to describe how Jean felt. Nothing changed from their previous life, after all. He should’ve thought about that. Instead, he acted like an insensitive asshole.

“Shit, man… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…” He apologized as he went to sit next to the brunet.

“It’s okay. You couldn’t know that.”

“But I was an asshole. I’m really sorry.”

“You were an asshole to your mom, not to me.” Eren said, taking a bite out of his cookie.

“You’re right. I need to treat her better.”

“Good to hear.” He said, with a small smile, offering him a cookie. They sat in silence eating the chocolate treats, until Eren spoke again.

“Hey Jean? Can I ask you something?”

“What is it, Eren?”

“It’s about you and Mikasa.”

Jean blushed, scratching the back of his head, “No, we’re not together… Not yet, at least. But I get why you would think that, I mean…”

“That’s not what I wanted to ask.”

That was a stab to Jean’s pride.

“Sometimes, I feel like you two hate me or something. Like you only hang out with me because I’m friend with Marco and the others.”

“No, that’s…! Eren, we don’t hate you. It’s just… it feels weird to hang around you, because…”

Because? Because what? Jean was at a total loss. What was he supposed to tell him? That he had died tragically in their previous life, and Jean had years of unresolved grief and anger on his shoulder? His prolonged silence gave Eren the wrong idea.

“Did I do something to you without realizing it?”

“No, it’s not that…! Me and Mikasa… we had a friend, and he looked a lot like you.” He wasn’t able to completely look at him in the eyes when he told him that. He just quickly glanced at the brunet, out of the corner of his eye, then turned back to stare at his hands in his lap.

“Like me?”

“Yeah… you two have the same eyes.”

“What happened to him?” Eren was speaking so softly. He had asked that question with the upmost caution and consideration, like he already knew the answer to that question. There was only one way Jean could answer that question, and he knew that. So, as absurd as that situation might have been, he went forward and said exactly what had happened.

“Suicide.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Jean almost felt like laughing. Eren was giving him his condolences for his own death in a previous life. Jean never thought getting reincarnated could lead to things being so convoluted.

“So the other day, when the others called me a suicidal blockhead… that’s why you got away? You were crying?”

“Yeah…”

“I knew it wasn’t seasonal allergy!” Eren said to himself, making the other boy snort lightly.

Jean gave him a little shove, “Sure you did.”

“What was his name?”

“Huh?”

“Your friend’s name.”

Fuck. He didn’t think he would ask.

“Ah… he was… K-Kruger.”

There was something Jean had been wanting to do for a long time. He was looking at Eren out of the corner of his eye. The brunet looked so pensive. Was he thinking about his mom? How many times had he felt so sad, alone and abandoned in their previous life? How many times was he left alone to think of all the comrades they had lost, of all the things he blamed himself for, with nobody to comfort him or to just keep him company? How much had he felt like that in this life too? They made the error of neglecting him back then. But it wasn’t going to happen again.

“I know this may sound weird, but… Can I… Can I hug you?”

Eren’s cheek were slightly flushed, he could tell the request caught him slightly off guard. But his lips curled in a sincere smile, “Sure.”

Jean tried not to look too desperate when he held the brunet in his arms. But his hold was tight, and needy. Almost like he never received a hug in his fifteen years of existence. Jean told himself that the hug was to comfort Eren, but he felt he was benefitting from the gesture more than the brunet. Eren had to admit, he was just the slightest bit weirded out from how desperate Jean’s hold felt, but he held onto the taller boy nonetheless. He looked like he needed it, and he wasn’t the only one. They both needed it. The brunet snuggled up in the taller boy’s shoulder. They sat comfortably in each other’s arms for the longest time, neither of them wanting to let go.

“Thank you…” Jean whispered in a broken voice. Eren couldn’t say, but he felt like there was more to that _thank you _than just the hug. Like his gratitude was for something far bigger, something Eren couldn’t understand.

“Anytime, man,” He whispered back, “Losing someone is hard. I know that way too well.”

They would never admit how they started silently crying in each other’s arms. It was a secret for the two of them to treasure.

*

Like Eren had said, Marco arrived not long after him. Armin and Connie arrived together shortly after. Finally, when the four of them where all there, they could start playing.

They were in the middle of their game when a cellphone started ringing.

“Sorry guys, I need to take this,” As Eren left the room, they heard him say one thing that make their blood freeze in their veins, “Yes, Yelena?”

Yelena.

Yelena?

The same Yelena they knew in their previous life? What could she possibly want with Eren?

Jean, Connie and Armin eyed each other with worry. Their looks didn’t go unnoticed by Marco.

“Guys, what’s wrong?”

“We could tell you now, but Eren might be back any moment.” Jean murmured, with watchfulness.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. She can keep him on the phone for hours on end.”

With a little less pressure in their hearts now, they filled him in on who Yelena was in their previous life. With this new knowledge, Marco understood their apprehension, he thought it was justified even. But he couldn’t share it.

“I see… but you don’t have to worry about Yelena now, she’s harmless.”

“Dude, I’m telling ya, that bitch’s batshit crazy!” Connie said, trying to control his tone of voice.

“I’ve met her a couple of times. I can assure you, she’s sound of mind.” Marco tried to reassured them, but they seemed hardly convinced.

“Marco, what’s her relationship with Eren, exactly?” At Armin’s inquiry, a faint blush colored the boy’s freckled cheeks.

“Ehm… you don’t need to know. That’s Eren’s business.”

Jean’s eyes widened so much, they almost jumped out of his head.

“Don’t tell me that…!” The boy looked around and lowered his voice before continuing, “That crazy ass bitch is his girlfriend?!”

Marco nervously scratched the back of his neck, “Not exactly…”

“They’re not like, friends with benefits or something like that, right?” Jean asked, waiting for a reassurance that never came. Marco remained silent, but his cheeks got redder than before. Soon his blush, as well as his silence, spread to the other boys in the room. It was more telling than any word.

Armin was fed up with it, “You know what guys? I do not want to know! As long as Eren’s okay, I don’t care what’s going on between Yelena and him.”

Silence followed, until Eren entered back into the room. He was still on the phone, laughing merrily.

“Okay see you, Yely.” He hung up and when he raised his eyes from the phone, he found four red faces all staring at him.

“What?” He asked, feeling confused and slightly embarrassed.

“T-They were just curious about Yelena…” Marco said, and Eren’s wide eyes fixated on him.

“What did you tell them?” He asked, dread clear in his eyes and voice. His lips were pressed in a hard line, but his expression was almost funny. He looked like a kid who was afraid his parents had found out about his mischiefs.

He went to sit on the carpet with them, uneasiness washing over him. Marco put a hand on his back, supportively.

“It’s okay, Eren. You can’t tell ‘em. They won’t judge you.” He told him with an encouraging smile.

“Yes, Eren. You can open up to us.” Armin said, putting his hand on the brunet’s.

Eren looked at each of them in the eyes. Their eyes seemed sincere, and something deep in his heart told him it was safe to trust them with his secret. The brunet took a deep sight.

“Yelena, she’s…” Eren bit his lower lip. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this, “She’s my sugar mommy.”

Jean choked on his saliva. Connie’s eyes widened in disbelief. Armin remained calm, questions already forming in his mind.

“Your… what?”

Eren let go of a resigned sigh, “A sugar mommy is-”

“Yeah, yeah, we know what a sugar mommy is!” Armin cut him off, but before he could ask any question, Connie anticipated him.

“Dude, is that even legal?”

“Yeah, shouldn’t you be of age already to get into that kind of arrangement?”

Eren looked away, biting his lower lip again, “Well… I kinda told her I’m nineteen.”

It seemed like Eren just couldn’t stay away from trouble, could he? Jean, who until then had been in a state of shock, had to snap himself out of it.

“How did you…?! Dude, you don’t look one day older than you are. If anything, you look a couple of years younger, how did she even believe you?”

“I had the fake ID from when I worked at the restaurant.”

“You have a fake ID?”

“Yeah. Nobody was going to give a full-time job to a minor, and I really needed money, so… I did what I had to do.”

Armin started feeling really apprehensive, “Eren, you could get in serious trouble, you know that?”

“Nobody’s going to find out, and I don’t work there anymore.” From the firmness in his voice, Armin could tell he was well aware of the gravity of the situation. But the blond understood that if he did that, he must’ve had his hands tied.

“Wait Eren, I think I’m lost,” Connie said, “You worked at a restaurant? With a fake ID?”

“Here we go… Do you guys really want to hear my sob story?” Eren’s eyes were bright. Those eyes already told the whole story. They boy had been through a lot, and still, he had the strength to smile through it all.

“If you’re okay with telling us, yeah. We’re here to listen.” Armin told him.

“Only if you’re okay with it, Eren.” Marco reassured him.

Eren took a deep breath. To encourage him, Marco put a hand on his back, moving it up and down soothingly.

“Ever since my parents died… I’ve been living with my aunt, but she struggled a lot economically. That’s why I had to leave school a few years ago… she got really sick and couldn’t work anymore… so I had to do it in her place. I left school, I started working to take care of her…”

“The social services never found out about this?” Armin felt like an inquisitor for asking all those questions, but he couldn’t help it.

“Of course not! They would’ve taken me away! I went great lengths to make sure no one ever found out. Then I met Yelena out of luck. I could finally leave my job and go to school again. Also thanks to Professor Smith, he helped me a lot.”

“Does your aunt know? About Yelena?”

“Hell no!”

“How do you hide something like that from her?”

“Thanks to Professor Smith. He lied for me, he told her he’s the one providing for us.”

“He did that?”

“Yeah. He helped me so much. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”

They were all surprised to hear that. Erwin Smith wasn’t exactly the man who they would expect to do charity. They just couldn’t see him helping someone just for the sake of it. Out of all the three of them, Armin was the one with more questions. What did he have to gain, what did he get out of it? He supposed he should’ve been grateful to the man, for helping Eren in such harrowing times. But he couldn’t let go of the feeling there was something strange about the whole thing. What kind of relationship did Eren and Erwin have? How did the two even meet? Why was Erwin going such great lengths to help him?

“Do you guys… see me differently, now?” Eren asked, in a meek voice.

Jean patted him on the shoulder, “Nah, it’s alright dude.”

Connie too provided him reassurance, “Yeah. You’re still cool.”

“And if you need help with anything, we’ll be here for you, right guys?” Armin said, looking at the others who nodded.

“Thank you for being so understanding guys.” His voice broke toward the end of his sentence. He quickly brushed away a tear with his thumb, hoping nobody saw it.

“Dude, are you crying?” Connie had meant to tease him, but all of them had glossy eyes.

“No…! It’s… seasonal allergy.” He said, laughing softly. His small chuckles were contagious for the others, and then, without any warning, Armin threw his arms around Eren. Marco followed his example, then Connie and Jean followed. Soon the soft chuckles became merry laughs.

It filled their hearts with content to know that Eren trusted them with that secret. Even if they had only known them for a week, they had already formed a bond. Perhaps, without even knowing it, Eren retained some feelings from his past life, ones that lead him to know he could trust them. Their bond was so unique, so special, that not even time nor distance could break it. It still somehow survived in this life. Even without all of them remembering.

Even if they could do nothing but rejoice, Armin couldn’t shake the lingering feeling that Eren wasn’t telling them the whole truth.

“Say Eren,” Jean looked away, slightly flushed, “Where can I find a sugar mommy for myself?”

Connie snorted, “Pff, what?”

“Well… I don’t know. I met Yelena at the restaurant where I worked. She’s the one who made me the offer.”

The others couldn’t believe he was actually giving Jean a serious answer.

“She said she was captivated by my exotic beauty or some weird shit like that…”

“Too bad Jeanny boy, I don’t think that can ever happen to you.”

“Oh, shut up Connie!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other fics
> 
> ||[With You In the Present](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278910/chapters/40637072)  
Reincarnation AU || Ereri
> 
> "Year 2850.  
Levi's always had dreams about his previous life, ever since he can remember.  
One day, he bumps into a familiar boy with different coloured eyes.  
Those wild eyes that once shone with pure fire, now beaten into submission.  
But no matter how different they looked now, he had no doubt they belonged to Eren Jäger.  
Levi will soon find Eren isn’t as happy in this life as he had hoped he would be, so he vows to himself to do everything in his power to give him the peaceful, happy life he deserves.  
Along this journey, he will find more people with memories of their past lives.  
However, not all of them are friends."
> 
> ||[The Song He Sang at Dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912833/chapters/39734838)  
Omegaverse AU || Ereri  
"When the cadet Eren Jäger joined the secret organization called Wings of Freedom, he did it with only one goal in mind: revenge.  
Falling in love surely wasn't in his plans, especially not with humanity's strongest soldier.  
He's afraid Levi will never see him as anything more than a kid, but things start to change when he presents late as an Omega.  
However, being secret lovers was just the start of the many trials they had to endure to reach their happy ending."


	4. Love Lost and Love Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, as always I'm sorry for the long wait. But with the current situation and plus some personal stuff, I haven't been feeling well enough to write this past month :'(  
Luckily, lately I've been feeling a bit better, so I'm back working on my stories. I'm determined to finish this one first, since it's the shortest out of all the ones I'm writing, so be ready to have more chapters soon.  
There are just two more things that I need you to know:
> 
> 1) If you've noticed, I've added a tag in the main tags... I've decided to turn this into an Eren x Marco fic. I had actually been wanting to do it since the start, but I wasn't sure about it, part of me wanted to keep this as a general work, but my love for this rare ship just keeps growing, so I couldn't help myself. Plus, for the scenes near the end to be how I've always imagined them since the beginning, it makes more sense for Marco and Eren to be more than friends.
> 
> 2) I don't think this story will be more than 10 chapters long. The chapters may become longer, but I don't think the story will stretch after that. This was supposed to be a short story since the start. Maybe 20.000 words long. I'm bad at math so maybe in the end they'll be 30.000, but I don't think it'll be longer than that. I hope I'll be able to write a good story that you guys will enjoy even if it's not that long.
> 
> that said, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter ;)

The others, and especially Armin, had strongly advised Eren not to tell Mikasa about his questionable relationship with Yelena. The boy had told his secret to the rest of the group, but not Mikasa, trusting in Armin’s advice. He knew that if she was ever to find out, hell was going to be raised. And the fact that she was the only one excluded from that knowledge was going to fuel her anger even more. The rumblings were nothing compared to what Mikasa was going to unleash.

And that wasn’t the only problem for Armin.

The girl was already devastated by the news of her adoptive parents passing away, without her ever even having the chance of meeting them again in this life. She didn’t need more heartbreak. Her heart ached for Eren. Why, she wondered, why was Eren stripped of his parents again?

Life was so unfair.

She didn’t need to know what kind of affair he was having with Yelena. Knowing her, Armin knew she would have undoubtedly seen Eren as an innocent victim. A little lamb with no will of his own, who had been enchanted by an evil sorceress. The blond didn’t feel like excluding the possibility she might even have tried to kill Yelena. The problem was, getting away with murder, was much harder in the current times. She found that out to her chagrin, when she was twelve years old and a creep started bothering her and Armin while they were walking along the street. Only god knew how much she had wanted to kill that man, but Armin had to drag her away before she could commit something she would later regret.

There were some habits from their past lives, that sometimes resurfaced and were hard to let go of.

She had to learn with time, that in this life, when things like that happened, she had to trust in the authorities and call the police. And that’s certainly the minimum she would have done, if she was to find out about Eren’s secret. Yelena would get in trouble, but so would Eren for lying about his age and owning a fake ID. With him being a minor with no other crime record though, the chances of him facing any jailtime were scarce, so there was no doubt Mikasa would’ve snitched.

They absolutely had to prevent that scenario from happening.

Eren had shown great distress at the thought of being put into the system, understandably. Armin was finding himself between two fires, but this situation was nothing compared to what he had to go through in the past, so he was sure he could manage this with his eyes closed.

*

That day at the school’s entrance, Marco and Eren arrived together like every day. But there was something different about them that morning. Eren was laughing out loud, while hugging Marco’s arm. There was an aura of peace and loveliness around them, that for a moment disorientated the others. Armin, being the smart one of the group, picked up on it immediately. So did Historia, while the others connected the dots a few moments later. Mikasa was in denial, trying to find any other possible explanation for their behavior.

“Good morning guys! Do you have something to tell us?” Sasha said, with a delighted smile on her face.

“We’re together now!” Eren proclaimed with enthusiasm, while Marco blushed and chuckled lightly.

The others cheered and congratulated them with joy, even though there was a lingering question on everyone’s mind. Of course, everyone except for Mikasa. The ravenette the last one to congratulate them, and even though she only wanted to run away and punch someone, she did her best to remain composed.

That night after dinner, she knocked at Armin’s door and cried all night long in her best friend’s arms.

*

In the cafeteria, everyone had already finished their meal. Sasha had brought pocky sticks for dessert that day.

“Hey, can I have one?” Eren asked, an idea flashing in his mind.

“Sure!” She said. Connie was already eyeing her weirdly. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have shared her food, especially her precious pockies. Little did the boy know, that Sasha had already predicted Eren’s next move, as he handed the boy the pocky with a knowing smile.

Eren put the end of the pocky stick in his mouth, and then with a mischievous smile, he called Marco’s attention by touching him on the arm. The freckled boy was flustered, but he gave in to the brunet’s request and started eating the pocky stick from the other end.

The others watched the scene unfold before their eyes, some with more interest than others. Sasha was holding onto Connie’s arms and squeezing so hard she almost stopped the poor boy’s blood circulation, watching the two boys with a satisfied smile spreading on her face.

Armin shot a quick side glance at Mikasa, who remained impassible. The little blond, however, knew how much she was hurting on the inside.

When their lips were about to touch, Marco unexpectedly pulled away, leaving a puppy eyed Eren and a very disappointed audience behind.

Sasha slammed her fist on the table, “No! I won’t accept that!” She took another pocky stick and handed it to Marco, “Do it properly this time!”

Armin loved Sasha, he really did. But he almost wished he could slap her right now. It was clear that Marco felt uncomfortable kissing his boyfriend in front of everyone, and most importantly to him, it was painful for Mikasa to watch. And she, who was one of her closest friends, should’ve known that.

When Marco and Eren’s lips were about to touch, the first didn’t recoil this time. He closed his eyes and let the awaited kiss happen. His uncomfortableness washed away soon, as he started deepening the kiss instead of pulling away. Armin wondered if he was just playing before, but it was more likely that he was just a boy in love who forgot about anyone else the moment he started kissing his boyfriend.

However, now it was the others’ turn to be uncomfortable.

“Hey, get a room you two.” Jean said.

“S-Sorry!” Marco stammered apologetically, becoming as red as a poppy flower. Eren just stuck his tongue at the boy, who gave in the middle finger in return. The brunet then flipped him off with both fingers in retaliation.

Armin and Marco wondered if they should have said something to stop the two, but even they had to admit, that their bickering was kind of fun to watch.

*

On Saturday morning, the gang had the idea of going to a karaoke bar. Since most people usually went at night, they basically had the whole place to themselves.

It was Eren and Armin’s turn to sing, and the both of them had such beautiful voices, the others were enthralled. In the meantime, Jean and Marco were sitting a little further from them others. There was something Jean had wanted to ask his best friend, but he didn’t know how to. He tried to pick his words carefully, but he knew that for how much carefully he could have chosen his words, there was no way of making that question be pleasant for the other boy to answer.

“Hey, Marco. I was wondering, this whole thing about Yelena and Eren… doesn’t it bother you?”

The taller boy looked at him with a complete blank expression on his face. He knew that question was coming sooner or later, but he found himself at a complete loss for what to say.

“I swear, I’m not trying to be a dick. I’ll let the matter drop if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Marco sighed softly. Of course he knew Jean didn’t have any ill intention with that question. He just wished this situation was different.

“I understand you guys must be curious. But no, it doesn’t bother me. He’s only doing what he needs to do to put food on the table. I can’t hold that against him.”

Jean smiled to himself. He had expected no less from him.

“You always were the most noble among all of us.”

“Do you think I don’t get jealous when I see them together? Because I do. I just hold my feelings back. This is actually worse for Eren than it is for me. He’s not happy about this situation either. That’s why he studies so much, he wants a better future for himself. And I want that for him too.”

Marco gazed at his boyfriend, who was singing out loud with Armin. He looked so carefree right in that moment. A soft smile appeared on the boy’s freckled cheeks. Jean never thought he’d ever see Marco being so in love, and with Eren, of all people. He was genuinely happy for his two friends, they really made such a cute couple. Marco and Eren were always good friends, but still, he could’ve never imagined something like this could’ve happened back when they were trainees.

“Say Marco, did you like him ever since our training days?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I wasn’t really thinking about love back then. But I was charmed by him, just as much as everyone else was.” Marco nudged him in the arm, “Even you were, don’t lie.”

Jean became as red as the sunset, “I was not!”

But Marco looked at him, raising his eyebrows and with a knowing smile plastered on his face.

“Okay maybe a little… He was cool. I’ll admit he was pretty damn cool.”

“He is.”

The sheer look of adoration Marco had while watching Eren was almost endearing. Jean wondered how Eren used to feel about Marco back then. He knew he considered him a dear friend, as much as everyone else from the 104, but was there something more to it? Eren was never good at expressing his feelings. He blushed like crazy just for telling his friends he cared once. Jean always thought he could read Eren well, but he wondered; how many other layers were there to him, that he perhaps did never see? How many other secrets did that fearless boy keep?

*

A month had already passed since Eren came back into their lives. It was like life had pressed the restart button ever since before Trost. Before all their comrades died. Before all the betrayal and pain. Before they got tangled into a war they never wanted to be part of. They could finally live the life they always dreamed of, with their friends, eating delicious food and never having to worry about a thing that wasn’t a math test or something else related to school.

“Go roll in some hay!”

“Go fuck your books, you fucking brainiac!”

Now that Eren couldn’t be considered a suicidal blockhead anymore, Jean’s new nickname for him was born from the brunet’s devotion to his studies.

“Well some of us have to! We can’t be all dumb horses like you.”

“What did you say?!”

“No hits on the face, guys.” Connie advised them, amused. Usually, they would be fed up with their fights, but there was something so nostalgic and sweet in seeing them wrestle and insult each other like they once used to. It was heartwarming to them. They truly felt like everything was right, like nothing could ruin their idyll this time. Most of them suspected Jean started provoking Eren on purpose, because he had missed fighting with him. And they wouldn’t be wrong.

“Suck my dick!”

“Suck your sugar momma’s cooch!”

“You know what? Maybe I will!”

The others were either laughing or cheering at their fight, the only ones who weren’t, were Armin and Marco, who as always were watching over them with apprehension, and Mikasa.

“His… what?” That last comment Jean had made had stuck with her. It wasn’t an insult guys used to throw around often. In fact, she never heard him say something like that before. Armin could tell what was going on in her mind, and his apprehension just sky-rocketed, all about the fight forgotten.

“M-Mikasa, that’s just a figure of speech, don’t think too much about it.”

Needless to say, Mikasa didn’t seem convinced by her best friend’s explanation. She didn’t utter another word about it, however.

What is too much for Armin to hope she had really let the matter drop?

*

That weekend, Mikasa started investigating. Except for the mornings, Eren said he was always busy during weekends, didn’t he? But he always kept so private about it, the others never tried to pry. Even Mikasa herself never questioned him about it, not wanting to bother him.

But now, she was dead set on finding out exactly what he was hiding.

With her oversized hoodie on, she followed him as he exited his house, standing close enough to see where he was going but far enough to not get noticed by him. He was well dressed, a white shirt and an elegant pair of black trousers. His neck was adorned by a silk, red cravat with golden flowers. To complete the look, he had a black jacket. Where was he possibly going dressed like that? Unfortunately for her, he hadn’t walked much far from home when he stopped a taxi and hopped right in.

Putting her hood up, Mikasa jumped on a bike she found nearby, ignoring the screams of the owner who yelled at her to stop. She felt sorry for that poor devil, but she couldn’t let Eren get out of sight.

She followed the taxi for about twenty minutes, when it stopped in front of one of the fanciest restaurants in all of the city. Mikasa knew just how expensive that restaurant was, and that Eren couldn’t possibly afford dining there. Even if he did, he surely wouldn’t go there alone, and Marco wasn’t with him.

The ravenette felt a pang in her chest. Jean’s silly comment had sparked suspects in her, but she didn’t want to believe they were founded. Spying from the restaurant’s window, not long after Eren was seated, a blonde woman joined him. A woman in her thirties, but not just any woman.

It was Yelena.

Mikasa couldn’t stare at that scene anymore. She quickly took a picture before storming away.

*

“He’s cheating on you.” She declared to Marco, after inviting him to her home to have a talk. The boy however, didn’t seem fazed at all by her accusations.

“Mikasa, I appreciate it, but you must be mistaken. He studies all day, and the rest of the time he’s either in school or with me. He wouldn’t have the time to cheat.”

“I have proof.” She said, showing him the picture of him and Yelena at the restaurant. Marco took a deep breath.

“I really wish it didn’t come to this.”

“That’s his… that’s his…” Mikasa was so revolted, she found it hard to bring herself to say it.

“That’s his _sugar mommy_ isn’t she?!” She said those two words through gritted teeth, “And you’re okay with that!?”

“Mikasa, he needs to feed his family, do you understand that?”

But the ravenette didn’t want to listen to any excuse. She bolted out of her seat, blood boiling in her veins.

“What kind of boyfriend are you?! If you really loved Eren, you would’ve helped him find another solution!”

“Another solution? How many jobs do you think he could find that would pay well enough and leave him enough time to study? No one likes this situation, Mikasa. Eren most of all.”

“You could’ve helped him! You could’ve found any other solution! Any other solution would be better than THIS!”

Mikasa was yelling at the poor boy, the veins on her forehead popping out. Marco got up from his chair, seeing how agitated she was getting, he knew he needed to do something to try and calm her down.

“Mikasa you need to calm down…” He said, putting his hands on both of her shoulders.

“Do NOT touch me!” She quickly snatched away from him, her whole-body trembling from rage as she tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths.

“Do the others know?! About this disgusting affair?! Armin knew didn’t he??!!”

Marco’s reluctance to answer was exactly the confirmation she needed.

“Fucking unbelievable…!”

She said to herself before storming out of the house. Marco followed right after her. It didn’t take long for her to be at Armin’s door, he lived right next to her after all. She knocked energetically, her rage getting higher by the minute.

“Mikasa, please, don’t be mad at him…!”

“You shut up!”

“Mikasa? Marco? What’s going on?” A very puzzled and slightly intimidated Armin had just opened the door, only to find his best friend shouting at another one of his closest friends.

Mikasa snapped at him, fire raging in her eyes. She showed the blond the picture of Eren and Yelena she had taken, her hand shaking, “You knew, didn’t you?! About this!?”

“I… I did.” Armin admitted in a meek voice.

“How many of you guys knew?!”

“Mikasa, listen…”

“How many!?”

Armin didn’t like lying. So as much as it hurt, he told her the truth, plain and simple.

“We… we all did. We told Eren not to tell you because we knew you were going to react like this…”

“Like what, like a normal person?! Because it seems to me that I’m the only one here who sees how wrong this is!”

“Please, let’s go inside and talk about it!”

“No! I’m going to the police!” She said, heading straight out of Armin’s property.

“Mikasa, no!” Marco grabbed her by both of her arms, to stop her from taking another step.

“Let me go! Let me go this instant or I’ll scream!”

Armin quickly ran in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders and touching her forehead with his.

“Mikasa…” He started speaking softly, “His aunt can’t provide for him. If you go to the police, they’ll find out and he’ll be taken into the system. We’ll never see him again. After waiting all this time for him, he’ll be taken away from us.”

Armin’s words were the only thing that could make Mikasa desist from her intents. She really hadn’t thought this one through. A single, silent tear slid down her pale cheeks as she gave up. Marco released her, since she wasn’t struggling against him anymore. She started crying softly, and the two boys enveloped her in a heartfelt hug.

*

There were dreams Mikasa had long given up on. Being held by Eren like a lover, being loved by him, being told sweet nothings by him… she had let those dreams die. Eren could never love her the way she wanted him to. But now, having him as a friend was everything and more she had hoped for. Seeing him happy was all she truly wanted now, and she was ready to love and support him as a friend, not smother him like a mother nor paying him the same attentions as a lover.

“Hey guys.” She said, as she approached the brunet and his boyfriend that morning at school.

“Oh, hey Mikasa.” Eren greeted her, with one of those usual radiant smiles of his that always made Mikasa melt.

“Eren, I’m heading to the art lab with Jean, we have to work on that project I talked to you about.”

“Oh… okay. See you later, babe.” Eren seemed disappointed, but he didn’t protest as the taller boy pecked him on the lips and left.

Marco was such a sweetheart. He had come up with an excuse to leave the two of them alone. Mikasa greatly lamented how she had treated the boy the previous day. She had let herself go to her anger and jealousy, but now she could clearly see how wrong her behavior had been. She knew she needed to give Marco an apology, but she would think about that later. Right now, all her attentions had to be on Eren.

“Eren… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Uhm, sure. What it is?”

“Can we go to a more… private place?” The corridor was crowded with people at that hour of the morning, and the last thing she wanted was people sticking their noses into their private affairs.

“Okay, come with me. Historia has shown me this one place near the gym that’s very secluded. I wonder how she found it…”

Mikasa perfectly knew how she found it. That was where she went to make out with Ymir, when both girls skipped physical education, which was something that happened on a daily basis. It had actually taken them a lot to find a place where they could do their business without anyone bothering them. Mikasa had always wished she had something like that to share with someone…

*

“I found out about Yelena.” She said, plain and simple.

Eren started scratching the back of his head nervously, looking at anywhere but her, “Crap…”

“You don’t have to worry about it, I’m not going to tell anyone. Even if I wanted to…”

“Mikasa, I really need Yelena’s help-” He started explaining, but the ravenette interrupted him, “I know, Eren, I understand that, really. But…”

Mikasa took Eren’s hand in both hers, brushing her thumb softly on his honey skin.

“You don’t have to do this. I can help you, I can ask my parents to lend me some money and…”

“Mikasa, no. I really appreciate it, but I’d never want to burden any of my friends with this. It’s a problem of mine, and I have to take care of it on my own.” He declared, with that determination she knew too well in his eyes.

“You don’t have to take care of everything on your own, Eren! We’re here to help you, we’re your friends…! We will do everything we can to give you a hand.”

Eren smiled, moved by her words.

“You’re a good friend. And I’m really grateful to have you guys, but really, this isn’t such a big deal,” He said, scratching the back of his head while his soft smile turned into an embarrassed one, “Yelena’s fun to be around, and she pays me really well.”

He chuckled bashfully, but a dark shadow soon started clouding his eyes.

“Sometimes… I almost wish she would treat me badly, so I wouldn’t feel so guilty when I’m with her. I feel like a filthy cheater. It’s so unfair to Marco, what I’m doing... Sometimes I think he deserves someone better than me…”

Mikasa had let Eren open up, but she couldn’t listen to that anymore.

“Eren, he loves you! And he understands why you have to do this, he understands it so well… he will never hold that against you.”

“I know… he’s an angel. And I don’t deserve him.”

“You do Eren! You deserve all the good things in this world.”

Eren looked at her with a bewildered expression, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“That’s what my mom used to tell me…” He said with a sad smile. Mikasa caressed him on the cheek, her too wearing a sad smile.

“Your mom knew you better than anybody else. So you have to listen to what she said.”

“Thank you, Mikasa.”

“Let’s head back now. Class is starting.” She said, turning back before the single tear she had in her eye could fall and Eren could see it.

“Mikasa?”

She quickly brushed it away before facing him again, “Yeah?”

“I’m glad to have a friend like you.”

Her smile went from ear to ear.


	5. As Long As I have You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this story was going to be 20.000 words long? Yeah, it turns out I'm really bad at math. At this point I'm not making any previsions anymore and I'm just going to see how this goes. But I have set this goal in my mind to finish this story by end of April. Let's see if I can.
> 
> This chapter is storter, but I hope the quality will make up for it. It is also the quiet before the storm, so...  
I hope you'll enjoy :)

Eren was running through the meadow, with one hand holding Marco’s and the other holding a picnic basket.

“Eren slow down!” Marco begged, chuckling.

“My legs are shorter than yours, how can you not catch up, babe?” Eren teased him, with that devilishly handsome smile of his.

It was the day of Eren’s sixteenth birthday, and Yelena was out of town. That meant, the brunet had the whole day free to spent with his friends and boyfriend. They had organized a party at a pizza place for that evening, but until then, Marco and Eren could finally be all alone.

It was a sunny Sunday morning of March, and the two sweethearts had planned something special.

“See? Isn’t this place wonderful?” The brunet said with a wide smile, as he stopped under the shadow of an orange tree. The nerolis were blossoming, enveloping them in that delightfully fresh, citrusy smell.

“Yeah, it is. How did you find it?”

Eren winked at him, “It’s a secret.”

Marco laughed softly, accepting his vague answer. Eren’s mysteries were always one of the reasons he fell for him.

The two boys started setting everything up, laying the white and red checkered blanket on the green grass. Then they brought out the plates from the basket, with the sandwiches, the beverages and everything else. Their mouths started watering at the sight of all that delicious goodness. Eren had prepared sandwiches, meatballs, and a fruit salad.

“You did this all by yourself?”

“Yeah! Did all with my own little hands.”

The race to reach the top of the hill they were sitting on had left both of the boys famished, so they started eating voraciously.

“Honey, this is delicious!” The taller boy exclaimed, after savoring the first bite of his sandwich.

“Thank you, babe!” Eren laid his head on Marco’s shoulder, while taking another bite of his sandwich, “I’m so glad we can finally spend some more time together.”

“Me too, honey.” Marco rested his head on the top of Eren’s, and for a while they remained in comfortable silence while eating their lunches.

*

“It’s cake time!” Eren said as they were finished with everything else, taking out of the basked a small chocolate cake.

“Did your Aunt make this?” Marco asked.

“No, I did it all by myself, for the two of us.”

“So you’re gonna have three cakes today.” Eren had told him his Aunt used to bake a cake for his birthday every year since his parents died. His mom was the one who used to bake it for him, but after the accident, Aunt Faye took her place. With this chocolate cake and the one his friends had ordered for that evening, that would make three.

“Y-Yeah, I’m gonna get so fat.”

“You’re not gonna get fat if you eat cake for a day, honey,” He said, bringing the brunet closer to kiss him on the temple, “Plus, you’d still be perfect even if you put on a little weight.”

Eren laughed idly at the compliment.

“What kind of cake did your Aunt bake?”

“She… She baked me a strawberry shortcake!” He said, not looking at his boyfriend in the eyes as he concentrated solely on cutting two slices of cake for the two of them.

“Perhaps we could go to your house after this, so we can have a slice of your Aunt’s cake as well.”

“Actually… There’s a sweeter kind of dessert I had in mind…” Eren said in a soft voice, while laying a kiss on Marco’s neck. The boy chuckled, his cheeks turning a deep pink.

“Wait Eren… Do you really want to do it here, outside?”

“No one’s going to watch us Marco, don’t worry about it.” He said as he handed him the plate with the cake.

Marco knew no one ever came there, if not during the summer months when the park was full of people. Otherwise, they were the only two people crazy enough to go come all the way up that hill just for a picnic. Still, the idea of doing it outside felt weird to him. The sensation of being watched was something he just couldn’t shake off.

“I feel bad for your aunt, though. It’s your birthday, I’m sure she’d want to spent it with you, but me and the guys are keeping you all to ourselves.”

Eren laughed nervously, “Don’t worry about that. She wants me to spent more time with my friends. And with you.”

“Your aunt must be an angel.”

“Yeah, she is…” Eren fixated his eyes on his plate, to hide the hint of sadness in the corner of his eyes.

*

Once they had finished the cake, Eren started kissing Marco passionately.

“Did you know that chocolate is an aphrodisiac?” He whispered in the taller boy’s ear.

“I don’t think we need chocolate for that.”

Eren laughed softly, “True.”

All of Marco’s inhibition crumbled down as he run his hand through Eren’s brown locks, kissing those rosy lips with need and avarice. Kisses so long they took the breath out of both boys.

Then, he laid the brunet on the soft grass. And they made love under the wide, blue sky of spring.

*

“Here is the birthday boy!” Jean shouted as the brunet entered the pizza place with Marco, that evening. Eren had been smiling so much throughout the day, that his cheeks were starting to get tired, but he couldn’t stop smiling when he saw the others. One at a time, they went to hug him and kiss him on both cheeks, to give him the best wishes for his birthday.

“Happy Birthday, Eren!” The ravenette said as she leaned in to kiss him on the cheeks.

“Thank you, Mikasa.”

“Wait just one second!” She said as she hurried to take something from her bag, leaving a confused Eren behind. He looked around and everyone around him was smiling, like they all knew a secret he was obviously being left out of, leaving him even more confused.

When Mikasa came back, she had a white box wrapped in a red ribbon in her hands.

“This is from all of us.” She said, handing him the present.

“Guys, I said no presents…” Since Yelena used to spoil him and shower him in expensive gifts, there wasn’t really any material gift Eren wanted for his birthday. And surely, the last thing he wanted was for his friends to waste their hard-earned allowances on a birthday gift for him.

“This is not just any present. This is special. Open it, I know you’re gonna like it.” She said, barely containing her excitement. Eren took the present from her hands, unable to contain a curious smile, as he took his seat at the table and started opening the package.

The box contained a book bounded in a red material that looked like leather. Eren had spent enough time with rich people to tell faux and real leather apart, but that wasn’t his focus at the moment. The dimensions of the book surely didn’t look like the ones of an ordinary book. Its width was bigger than its length, and the pages were black.

“Is this a photo album?” He said, with a smile that went from ear to year as he opened it, confirming all his suspects when he saw the photo on the first page. It was the class photo they had taken a few days after Eren’s arrival.

“Yes! We knew you would like it!” Sasha cried as she victoriously exchanged a high five with Connie.

“To be fair, it was Marco’s idea.” Connie admitted. Eren gave his boyfriend the sweetest of smiles.

“But I’m the one who chose the arrangement of the pictures.” Jean said, quite proudly.

“We all worked on it, Jean. Don’t be conceited.” Historia reminded him, giving him a light punch on the shoulder.

Eren was looking at the pictures with bright eyes. Turning the page, the next picture was of him and Armin belting to the karaoke, while the others in the background cheered. Then there was a picture of him working on a science project with Mikasa and Armin, another picture of him and Marco kissing in the cafeteria, and even one of him and Jean fighting in the school’s courtyard, among the countless others.

“Guys, this is… this is the best birthday gift I’ve ever received…” Eren brushed away a tear.

“Aww, Eren don’t cry!” Sasha said, but they were all bright eyed, tears threatening to fall.

“We already made so many memories in so little time…” He said while browsing through the pages.

Marco put a hand on his shoulder, “And we’ll keep making more and more.”

“Thank you guys…” Moved to tears, Eren gave them a heartfelt thanks. The others huddled around him, locking him in a group hug.

*

“Do you think your aunt will mind if I stay at your place for a while before bed? And maybe have a slice of that strawberry shortcake?”

After having an amazing night, Marco and Eren were walking hand in hand across the street, the first accompanying the latter back to his apartment.

“Well… I think she’s already asleep at this hour.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

Eren leaned in to give him a peck on the cheeks, “I’ll bring you a slice of cake tomorrow at school, okay?”

“Okay. Can I come to your house one of these days? I’d really like to meet your aunt.”

“Y-Yeah, I’ll let you know when you can come.” He said, and the rest of the walk was spent mostly in silence. They just exchanged enamoured smiles and glances of complicity.

*

It didn’t take long for them to arrive in front of the door of Eren’s apartment, but neither of the two boys wanted to let go yet. It was a few minutes past midnight, and since tomorrow was a working day, everyone was already asleep.

“I wish I could let you in right now.” Eren said, with a sheepish smile and flustered cheeks, even though their color was hidden by the dim light.

“We’ll see each other tomorrow at school,” He reassured him, “And I’ll come visit you and your Aunt soon, honey.”

Eren hushed him by putting his own lips on his, locking him in yet another passionate kiss. It was the umpteenth time that day, but the two lovers just couldn’t get enough.

When they separated, Eren brought their foreheads together, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s neck

“Thank you for this day…” Eren spoke in a soft voice, “It was literally the best day I’ve had ever since my parents died.”

“I’m glad I could make you happy, honey.” Marco said, rubbing his nose against Eren, eliciting silvery chuckles from him. Then, Marco took something out of the pocked of his jeans. “I know you said no presents, but… this made me think of you.”

It was a small pendant in the shape of a key. It was hard to make out in the dim light, but it appeared to be of a golden color, with a lot of small, sparkling stones.

“You can’t see that, but the stones are green. Like your eyes. It’s just colored glass but…”

Eren stopped him by caressing his cheek, “Marco, this colored glass is worth more than a thousand diamonds to me.”

After a quick kiss on the lips, Eren turned around, waiting for Marco to put the necklace on him, and so the boy did.

“I really love it, so much…!” Eren said with a wide smile, as he looked down at the pendant. Then, he threw his arms around his boyfriend, “But not as much as I love you.” He whispered in his ear.

For a time they couldn’t tell, they remained there, locked into the tightest of hugs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

“Yes. See you.”

To their great chagrin, the two boys had to finally separate that night.

*

Eren sighed deeply as he entered his quiet apartment. Turning up the lights did little to help making the place feel less empty. But Eren still smiled as he clutched in his hands the photo album his friends had given him, and as he looked down at the necklace around his neck.

Tired but indescribably happy, he walked to his bedroom to change into his pajama. He put his new photo album on the shelf, next to his old family albums. There were also two framed pictures, one of him with his aunt when he was three years old, and a bigger framed picture of his parents. He took it in his hands, before sitting up on his bed.

“Hey Mom, hey Dad. I turned sixteen today. I finally have a lot of friends again… and a boyfriend. I’m not alone on my birthday anymore. Still, I wish you two were here…”

The boy kissed the photo like he did every night before sleeping, then he put it on his bedside table. And after closing the lights, he finally rested his head on the pillow to try and get some sleep.

“Goodnight Mom, Dad… goodnight to you too, Aunt Faye…”


	6. God Save the School Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, sorry it took me so long to update, I had decided to take my time and stop adding new chapters until I had finished this story. As you can see, I did, and it's going to be 12 chapters in total. A little less than 50k words, a far cry from the 20k I had calculated at the beginning, haha xD
> 
> I want to apologize in advance for this chapter, it's pretty angsty and painful >.<  
Also, I've written this in the tags since the beginning, but I want to say it again: If you like Erwin Smith as a character, this fic may not be for you. This chapter is when he really start being an asshole. So, this is your last call. Obviously feel free to keep reading, just don't get mad at me for turning him into a bastard >.<
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and that you'll want to read more <3
> 
> Without further ado, I'll leave you to the chapter.

When Mikasa went to Armin’s house, fully dressed and ready for school in an early morning of mid-April, she found the blond still in his pajama, eating breakfast at his kitchen table. 

The ravenette walked up to him and slapped a sport magazine right next to Armin’s bowl of cereal.

“What’s this about, Mikasa?” He asked, still drowsy. It was way too early in the morning to try to understand whatever was going on in his best friend’s mind.

“Don’t you see it? That’s Zeke on the cover.” She said, taking a seat next to him and laying her backpack on the table. Armin reluctantly set his breakfast aside for a moment, to check the cover of this magazine Mikasa had brought him.

“It looks like he’s a rising baseball star. Good for him. But what does this have to do with us?”

“Don’t you get it? He’s Eren’s half-brother. And he’s rich, if we find him, he can help Eren and his aunt. Who is also Zeke’s aunt. So Eren won’t have to deal with Yelena anymore, and he also won’t risk going into a group home!” Mikasa explained with eagerness, but Armin still had his doubts.

“But… we don’t even know if they’re brothers in this life.”

“Of course they’re brothers! They just don’t know it yet.” The ravenette opened the magazine, to the page she had carefully bookmarked earlier.

“See, it says right here that he never knew his father. And you see that woman in the background? That’s his mother, and it’s clearly the same Dina Fritz of uncle Grisha’s portrait. There’s no way his father’s not uncle Grisha. They’re brothers, Armin. And right now, Zeke’s the only one who can help Eren!”

Armin rubbed his temples. It was definitely too early in the morning for this.

“Even if we got to talk to him, do you really think he would believe us if we told him he has a brother? And how would we explain to him how we know it in the first place? How do we even explain this to Eren?”

“You’re the smart one Armin, think of something! Zeke is Eren’s only hope right now.” 

Armin knew what Mikasa’s real intention was. She couldn’t care less about reuniting the two brothers, she never cared for Zeke in the first place. And Eren could do fine even without him. He could do more than fine, in fact, thanks to Yelena. 

The blond was sure the only reason Mikasa wanted Zeke to know about Eren, was to keep Yelena away from him. With how obsessive and overprotecting he was of him in their past life, there was no doubt he would’ve made sure Yelena ended up in prison.

Mikasa wasn’t much different from Zeke. She still saw Eren as the innocent lamb in this story. When in truth, he was nothing but innocent. If anything, he was the one playing Yelena, lying about his age. And the woman didn’t even know what she was risking with that relationship.

Not that Armin blamed Eren. He understood the motifs behind his actions, for once. And if everything went well, another couple of years and he wouldn’t have to lie anymore. Another couple of years, and he could get an actual job, which the blond was sure he was going to find easily, given his grades.

If everything went well, Yelena would never find out and everyone was going to be happy. Unlike Mikasa right now, and definitely unlike Armin right now.

“Mikasa, if this is just about keeping Yelena away from Eren…”

“What? Of course not! Sure, that’s a plus, but I want Eren to find his brother because that’s his family! Wouldn’t you want to know if you have a brother or sister out there somewhere?”

“Mikasa… Zeke wasn’t exactly a role model as an older brother in our past life…”

“What about Yelena, then? She was batshit crazy! Don’t you think people can change?”

“That’s not the point. I don’t understand why you’re so keen on it. If it’s destiny that the two brothers will find each other again in this life, then it will happen. Just like it happened that we met Eren again.” Armin said, going back to his breakfast. Mikasa raised one eyebrow at him.

“Since when do you believe in this things, Armin?”

“Since we got fucking reincarnated, Mikasa.” Armin wasn’t the type to use swear words usually, but in that case he found it appropriate, to reinforce the concept. Sure, as someone who loved science and logic, believing in destiny wasn’t to be expected of him. But when you remember having had a past life, and same people you knew back then are also in your current life, destiny is not a thing you can just brush off like it’s nothing.

“Well, maybe destiny needs a little push.” Mikasa said, as she grabbed her backpack and headed out. 

“Mikasa, you’re not going to do anything rush, are you?”

“Of course not,” She said, stopping at the doorsill, “I need to save some money before I buy a ticket for Marley.”

Armin spat out a mouthful of milk and cereal.

“I’ll save up for your ticket too in case you change your mind.”

The blond groaned in frustration after his best friend left.

*

Eren put down his pen, massaging his sore wrist. It had been a substantial history lesson, he couldn’t stop taking notes even to catch a break for a second. Luckily it was the last lesson of the day and he couldn’t wait to just go home, or relax with his friends, that afternoon.

“Jäger, see me in my office after class. I need to talk to you.”

“Oh, okay Professor.” 

Well, there went his plans for a relaxing afternoon. Not that he minded usually, talking to Professor Smith. But if he needed to talk to him, it was surely something related to school, and Eren wasn’t really feeling it in that moment.

He however accepted it readily. It couldn’t take too long after all, could it? All he had to do was endure a little more. After the bell rang, he started packing all of his numerous school supplies in his backpack. He was usually the last one to leave. Most people just had a pen and a notebook beside their textbook, but he had ten highlighters in different colors, not to count five pens in different colors, pencils and erasers to draw graphics. There was no one else in school who took his education more seriously than him. Not even Marco and Armin came close when it came to dedication.

After finishing packing his stuff, he caught up to Marco who, as always, was waiting for him on the doorsill. Eren smiled brightly at his boyfriend, and after a quick kiss, the taller boy took him by the hand and they left the classroom together, to join their other friends who were making plans for that afternoon in the corridor. 

“Hey guys, you have anything planned this afternoon?” Eren asked as they joined them.

“Yeah, we wanted to go bowling. If you have to study though, we can go another day.” Jean said.

“I’ve studied 5 hours just yesterday. I think I’ve earned a break.”

Jean pulled him in a headlock and started rubbing his knuckles against his head, “That’s the spirit!”

“Let go, you ass!” Eren protested, but he couldn’t hold back his chuckles. Jean wasn’t rubbing him hard enough to cause him pain, it was just a playful manner to show affection. At times, Eren felt overwhelmed by how much his friends cared about him, and by how happy they were when he joined them in whatever activity they had planned.

Feeling wanted was something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’ll join you guys later, as soon as I see what the Professor wants.”

“I can wait for you at the entrance.” Marco proposed, not wanting to leave his boyfriend alone.

“Nah, it’s alright babe. Go with the others. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Later, Eren!” They all said their goodbyes to him before heading out of school. 

“Later, honey.” Marco was the last one to say goodbye, with a kiss that was a little bit longer than the previous one.

*

Erwin Smith was the only teacher in the whole school to have an office of his own. It was something to be expected since he owned the school. Both him and his father were two famous historians, who had published several books and founded that public school together. 

But it wasn’t the only one they owned; they also had private cram schools all across Eldia. And owned several properties that they rented out. 

The man was rich enough that if he wanted, he could’ve easily lived the rest of his life without ever having to work another day. But just like his father, he needed to keep busy, so he started teaching the two subjects who always were the closest to him: history and literature.

“Have a seat, Eren.” He said, with a friendly smile. He always used to call him by his first name when they were alone. Eren wondered if he was like this with all of his students. The boy sat on the red leather chair, as comfortably as he had been in the living room of a good friend. 

The Professor though, didn’t go seat in his chair, on the other side of the desk. He crossed his arms, leaning against the desk, right next to Eren. 

“So, it’s almost been two months in this school for you. Do you like it here so far?”

Eren smiled brightly, “Yes! I’m loving it here.”

“I’m glad to see you’ve settled in so fast. Did you make a lot of friends?”

Eren’s cheeks turned to a soft pink, “Yes, and a boyfriend too…” 

The brunet had expected his Professor to be happy for him, but Erwin had an unreadable expression on his face.

“I see. That Bodt boy, isn’t he?”

“Yes… he’s my favorite person here…” 

Eren admitted shily, eyes casted down as his cheeks inflamed. It felt natural to him to admit that to the Professor. After all, he had been his first confidant ever since he came into town, when he was still alone and working off the books in that awful high-class restaurant. Erwin Smith, who was a regular, often invited him to sit with him and chat during his break. It didn’t take long for Eren to have complete trust in him, and he confided in the man everything about the painful events of his past. Erwin had been a good listener, and for the first time Eren felt like he wasn’t alone anymore. Like he had finally found an ally. Maybe not a friend, but surely someone who would look out for him, as well as someone he could look up to. Not quite a parental figure, he would never consider anyone else a parental figure out of respect for his late parents, but Erwin Smith was something close to that.

“Professor Smith, I really don’t know how to thank you.” Eren began, his heart full of gratitude. It was thanks to this man that he was able to go to cram school, and then finally attend public school again. It was thanks to this man, that he could live like a normal teenager, study, have friends and even a boyfriend.

It was thanks to this man, that his life could finally have a little bit of normality. For how normal the life of a sixteen years old orphan, who had to pretend to be nineteen and have a sugar mommy in order to put food on the table, could be.

Erwin outstretched his hand toward Eren’s face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Eren chuckled in embarrassment at the gesture. It wasn’t like the Professor had never touched him before, there had been light touches on the arms and pats on the back, but the man had never touched him like that before.

It felt intimate… and weird. Eren had expected him to retract his hand after that, but the man’s hand lingered close to his face, stroking his jawline with his knuckles and then cupping his chin gently.

A chill ran down Eren’s spine. He couldn’t understand what on earth was going on.

Erwin’s expression was what confused him the most. The man was looking at him with a fond expression, and yet somewhat unreadable.

Or maybe it was Eren’s subconscious that refused to acknowledge what that expression meant.

“I think you can find a way… to thank me.” Erwin spoke in a soft, sweltering voice.

Eren instinctively got up from his chair, taking a step back.

“W…What?” His mind wasn’t able to form any coherent thought. It was like the room had turned upside down, like nothing made sense anymore.

“C’mon Eren, you’re not some naïve high schooler. You know what you have to lose if you say no to me.”

All of the feelings of fear, pain and betrayal had left him to leave room to anger. Eren’s eyes became red, as he bared his teeth and clenched his fists. He sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight.

“You did illegal stuff too! If you report me they’ll find out about what you did too.”

But the devil just laughed. He laughed like someone who knew he had all the power.

“With your criminal record, who do you think they’re going to believe? A famous, well-respected Professor, or a nameless nobody who’s already committed a conspicuous amount of crimes despite being so young?” 

“I did those things to eat!”

“No, you were being feed enough right where you were. You just wanted your  _ freedom _ .”

Eren knew he couldn’t retort to that. He did want his freedom. And had done things to obtain it that he wished he didn’t have to do. Including buying a fake ID, with money that weren’t his. But he never would have thought when he confided those things to the Professor, that he was one day going to use them against him.

“Not that I blame you. Freedom is the primordial desire of all men. But it’s such a flickering thing, isn’t it? Just one call, and you’ll be losing it. Not only you’ll end up in the system, but nothing is going to spare you from spending a little while in juvie, my dear Eren.”

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you cared about me!” He tried with all of his might to refrain himself from crying. Right in that moment, showing vulnerability was the last thing he wanted.

“Have you already forgotten everything I did for you? Don’t you remember who put you here? Who owns the apartment you live in?”

“I pay rent regularly!”

“Just because you fuck a thirty years old woman, who, if I recall correctly, believes you’re nineteen. Now, I wonder what would happen if she found out your real age…”

“You wouldn’t dare…!”

“Wouldn’t I? C’mon now Eren, it doesn’t have to be like that between us. Just be affectionate with me, like you are with Yelena and Marco. Shouldn’t be too hard for you, right?”

Eren wanted to retort to that. Oh, if he wanted to. How could that devil even dare to compare himself to his beloved Marco? Or even to Yelena? 

Eren knew he couldn’t retort. He knew that if he did, things were only going to end up worse for him. But if he could, he would scream at the top of his lungs how much he was wrong.

He would have said to that devil, that he could never give him what Marco could. He could never give him the unconditional love, the feeling of sheer joy he felt whenever he was with him. He could never make him feel at home like Marco could, no one could.

And he couldn’t even dare to compare himself to Yelena. At least she had been honest with him from the start, about what she wanted, and what she was going to give him in return. She didn’t play with his feelings, she didn’t earn his trust just to shatter it into million pieces like Erwin did. Like countless other people did before him.

He was nothing but a filthy liar and a manipulator. He was a devil who had disguised himself as an angel to take Eren’s soul. 

It made Eren’s blood boil in his veins, but he could do nothing else than going along with what he had asked of him. Slowly, the brunet started unbuttoning his shirt, all while looking at the man straight in the eyes. His glare was full of the darkest of hatred and the most scorching anger. If looks could incinerate, Erwin Smith would already be dust. That devil himself had to admit he was slightly intimidated by that stare. All that rage… too much for a boy of only sixteen. 

However, he still felt no remorse. He still laughed with his mouth closed. It was a victorious one, the laugh of someone who knew right from the start that he was going to obtain what he wanted and was now wallowing in his victory.

“You’ll see, there is no one who can be a better lover to you than me.”

Eren swallowed back his tears as his Professor and former hero started kissing him on the neck, while touching places he would rather not think about.

*

Eren washed his face in the school bathroom for the tenth time. Still, he couldn’t wash away the shame he felt. He wished the cold water could erase everything that had happened. He hoped that if he kept splashing water on his face, maybe he would wake up in his bed, that he would realize it had been just a horrible nightmare. But for how much water he kept splashing his face with, he still remained there, in that bathroom, in that same nightmare.

Giving up, he dried his wet face with his sleeves. His reflection in the mirror was a mess; he had done his best to fix himself, but his hair was still unkept and sweat ridden. His clothes were still wrinkled, as much as he had tried to flatten them out with his hands.

_ “Would you like to go back to school, Eren?” _

_ “Yes, sir! I would love that more than anything!” _

Why.

Why did he trust him? Why had he been so lonely, so desperate that he clung to the first stranger that offered him a warm smile and a listening ear?

If his time on the streets had taught him anything, was that he shouldn’t trust anyone. 

Anyone except himself.

Still, he had been in his most vulnerable of moments when he met that devil. He needed someone to talk to, someone near him, a friendly face among a crowd. 

He needed not to feel so alone anymore like he needed air. And that vulnerable desire, was what led him to his downfall. 

Right into Erwin Smith’s clutches.

But he wouldn’t cry, no. Not because of him. He wasn’t going to let that devil have any more power over his life.

“Hey brat, what are you still doing here?” The janitor’s voice thundered, making him jump out of his skin.

“Didn’t you hear the bell? You should’ve left an hour ago!”

Levi’s yelling was the last straw. Eren’s current emotional state was fragile, and he now shattered it completely. The janitor watched, frozen, as the boy sunk to the bathroom’s floor, breaking in a desperate fit of sobs.

The man was horrified at his own actions. Cautiously, he walked closer to the weeping boy, kneeling down to his eye level.

“Hey, Eren… your name is Eren, right?” 

The brunet gave him a quick glance with the corner of his eyes, and then nodded weakly.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, take here.” Levi handed him an embroidered handkerchief he always carried around with him. Reluctantly, the boy took it without looking at Levi in the eyes. He let the boy cry for a little while, putting a hand unsurely on his shaking shoulder.

“How do you know my name?” The boy asked, once he had calmed down a little bit.

“Your teachers talk a lot about you. They say you’re a good kid, polite and diligent in your studies. They adore you.”

“Some more than others…” Eren commented bitterly, but the janitor didn’t seem to have perceived the veiled meaning in those words.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m a fucking asshole, I know.” He apologized sincerely, but Eren shook his head.

“It wasn’t you… things are rough at home.” It was the first excuse that came to his mind, because it wasn’t completely false. It was going to be hard to come back to his empty apartment, after such a harrowing experience.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Levi asked, tentatively.

“No… no one can help me.” Eren got up on his feet, but he didn’t do it with ease. He was like a baby deer, trying to get on his legs for the first time. He staggered a little before heading to the bathroom’s exit. Levi, wanting to help him walk, grabbed him from his arm, but the boy quickly yanked it away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” He cried hysterically, starting to walk faster.

“Wait. Eren, wait!” Levi was completely mortified. Where did he go wrong?

“Leave me alone!” Eren snapped.

The man could do nothing but watch him walk away. Never had he felt so defeated in his life.

*

“Yes! Another strike! You rock, Mikasa!” Sasha chanted in victory as she went to high five her friend with both hands.

“Indisputable Queen!” Jean praised her. They had formed two teams, the first was composed by Mikasa, Sasha, Jean and Eren, while in the other team was composed by Marco, Connie, Historia and Ymir. Since without Eren the first team was one player short, they were technically in disadvantage. But with how good Mikasa was, the second team was the one who actually felt in disadvantage.

But the ravenette couldn’t fully enjoy her achievements. 

“Eren isn’t here yet. Why is Professor Smith taking so long with him?” She wondered, getting worried. And she wasn’t the only one. 

“I wonder if something happened… Let me call him.” Marco dialed Eren’s number on his phone, getting a little far from the others so their yells wouldn’t disturb his call.

“Babe?” When Eren’s voice answered, Marco could already tell something was off. His usual cheery tone was gone. His voice was flat, and weak.

“Hey honey, are you done yet?”

“Marco, can you please tell the others I’m sorry? I don’t think I’m gonna make it…”

“Oh… what happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick… so I’m heading home.”

“Oh, I’m sorry honey… Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell them. Go home and take care of yourself, okay?”

“Yes… Babe, can you come to me after bowling? My aunt is out of town for a few days, and…”

“I’m coming right away.”

“No, no! I’ll be fine. I just don’t want to be alone tonight. Have fun with the others for me too, okay?”

“Okay, honey. I love you. See you later.”

“I love you too. Thank you…”

When he came back to the others, they all hounded him and started asking questions about Eren’s whereabouts.

“He said he felt sick all of a sudden, so he’s not coming.”

There was a disappointed chorus of ‘ _ no’  _ and ‘ _ aw, man!’  _ following Marco’s report. 

“Sick? What happened to him exactly?” Mikasa asked, apprehensively.

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me, just that he was feeling sick and that he was heading home.”

“He was heading home? So he was still in school at this hour?”

“I guess…”

Mikasa huffed, “Geez, what did that old man want with him for so long?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, Mikasa, enough with the interrogation.” Armin said, smiling at Marco apologetically. 

“I wasn’t interrogating him, I just wanted to know!” Mikasa protested.

“It’s okay, Armin. If you guys don’t mind, I’m heading home too.”

“You’re leaving too?” Jean asked, a bit let down.

“Yeah, Eren said his aunt is away for a few days and asked me to spend the night at his place. I need to go home to prepare my stuff.”

“Aw, that’s so cute!” Sasha commented.

“Cute? He’s gonna get sick as well.” Connie observed. Sasha stared at him with a disgruntled expression. Then, she took a deep sigh.

“This is why you’re still single.”

“Hey!”

While Jean and Ymir started cackling, Historia walked over to Marco. Her eyebrows were furrowed in worry, her hands joined together.

“Poor Eren… I hope he gets well soon.” She said.

“Give Eren our get well wishes, okay?” Mikasa told him.

“Sure, I will.”

*

The sky was turning a soft shade of orange when Marco made it to Eren’s apartment. When the brunet opened the door, he was already in his pajama, robe and slippers. His face was flustered, his hair still a little damp from the bubble bath he had just taken. Marco could tell he did, because when he leaned in to kiss him on his forehead, he could smell the sweet scent of roses and geranium, the bath essence that had the same fragrance of his mother’s perfume. Eren had told him how he used to bath with it in those blue days when he missed her terribly. And from Eren’s bloodshot eyes, he could tell something was wrong with him. Not physically, no. His malaise went beyond that.

“How are you feeling, honey?” He asked as he hugged him tightly. Eren snuggled up comfortably on the taller boy’s shoulder.

“Better, now that you’re here.” His voice was croaky, like his throat was sore. It sounded like he had been crying for a long time.

When they separated, Marco checked his temperature again, first with his hand, then with his lips again.

“You don’t seem to have a fever, do you have a stomachache? Headache?”

“No, I’m… physically I’m fine, but… something happened.”

He knew it. He knew something was wrong with Eren from the moment he saw those pained eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, cautiously. Eren had his gaze lowered. Those sea green eyes looked completely lost. Marco had never seen him so vulnerable before.

“Yes…” He answered, meekly. Then he took Marco’s hand and led him to the couch, in the living room. They both sat down, and Marco opened his arms for Eren to snuggle up against his chest. Once he was comfortably nestled in his sweetheart’s arms, Eren began talking.

“My aunt, she uhm… Went to visit some friends in the nearby town. She’s hoping they can help her get an office job or something like that. ”

“So she’s well enough to work now? That’s good news.”

“She doesn’t have much choice. The social services found out about her not having a job… so…”

“They’re putting your custody into discussion?” Marco realized with horror.

“Yes… I could be taken into the system…”

“Gosh, Eren that’s awful…” Marco was completely devastated by the news. Not only that would entail Eren would be taken away from them, from him, but the worst thing was that now Eren’s future would be uncertain. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how Eren felt in that moment. How scared he must have been. He would be all alone, once again, sent to live in a group home who knows where. It was horrifying to think about. 

He couldn’t know that whether that happened or not, depended all on Eren. He would be safe from maybe a bigger hell, if he just kept giving in to the blackmail of a vile man he once trusted. 

Why did Eren lie, he himself had no idea. Marco was the person he trusted the most in the entire world. The only one who was worth of his trust. His love was sincere, and pure, and wonderful. So why didn’t he tell him the truth? Maybe, a part of his still needed to process what had happened to him. Maybe, those lies he kept telling everyone around him, he was telling them to himself first. 

Because deep down he wanted to believe his own lies. Deep down, it was just his way of escaping from the hell he was thrown into ever since his parents died.

All Eren wanted was to escape. He wished he could take Marco by the hand and travel to far-away lands, killing monsters and living adventures, forgetting all about mundane things like school or work.

Warm tears started wetting Marco’s shirt. The latter just held his arms tighter around the boy, planting kisses on the top of his head.

“Everything will be alright, honey. I have faith.” He said, while caressing the brunet’s silky locks.

“I wish I did too…” Eren said through strangled sobs.

“Don’t worry. I have enough for the both of us.”

*

Eren had cried so much, in addition to all the tears Marco knew he had shed before his arrival, that the freckled boy was starting to get worried about him becoming dehydrated. Once the brunet had calmed down a little, he separated from him to go get a big glass of fresh water for him.

“The others told me to send you their get well wishes. We all missed you today.” He said, once his boyfriend had emptied the whole content of the glass.

“I was really looking forward to go bowling with you and the guys… but, this situation… it crushed me.” Eren was looking at the bottom of his empty glass, drawing circled to the side with his index finger.

“It’s okay, Eren. We will have other occasions of going bowling all together. You need to take care of yourself first, okay?” 

“Okay…” He said meekly, as he laid the empty glass on the small table beside the couch. 

Marco took a quick glance at the clock, “It’s almost dinner time. What would you like to eat?”

Eren let go of a small grumble. The sole thought of food was insufferable for him, “I’m not really hungry. But you can eat anything you want, I went grocery shopping yesterday, the fridge is full.”

“You’re not gonna eat anything?”

“I have a knot in my stomach…”

“C’mon, Eren. You have to make a little effort, you can just go to bed on an empty stomach. What about… some stew?”

“Beef stew?”

“Yeah! with curry, just like you like it.”

His lips curled into a small smile, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Marco felt like he had won the greatest of battles.

“Perfect! I’ll start preparing it now. You stay here and rest, okay?” He said, putting a blanket over the brunet and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

“Okay.”

He was feeling very comfortable, all curled up on the couch. From the other room, he could hear Marco humming while preparing dinner. 

It brought him back to a long, long time ago. When he was still a little child and sat on the couch with his father, while his mother prepared dinner. His father would always read the newspaper, and he would snuggle up next to him, often dozing off, then being gently awaked by his mother voice calling them from the kitchen.

And in that moment, he felt the same feeling of warmth and protection he felt back then, when his family was still alive. What would he do without Marco? That boy was a literal guardian angel. Sometimes, he liked to believe his parents had put him on his path, so that on this earth, he could love him and protect him in their place. He wondered if he should’ve shared these thoughts with Marco. What was he going to think about him then? That he was weird? That he was funny? He was almost scared to find out. Perhaps that night, once they were cuddled up in bed during pillow talk, he would have told him about it.

*

“Do you like it?” Marco asked timidly, trying not to sound too expectant.

“It’s delicious… just like the one mom used to make.” Eren stared at the content of his plate with a nostalgic smile.

“Wow, I’m honored!” Marco smiled brightly. That was his second victory that night.

“Marco… thank you so much for taking care of me.” Eren said, with that sweet smile of his, even if his eyes were still pained. The freckled boy took his hand and brought it to his lips, planting a soft kiss on its back.

“You’re my number one priority, Eren. I love you so much, honey…”

“I love you too… And I’m sorry I ruined your afternoon.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” He reassured him.

“You’re always such a sweetheart… I don’t know if I deserve it…”

“Eren, don’t say things like that, honey. You’re just tired, finish your stew and then we’ll go to bed, alright?”

“Will you cuddle me in bed?” He asked, puppy eyed. Marco giggled, ruffling the brunet’s hair.

“Of course I’ll cuddle you in bed, silly.”

*

After they had finished their meals, and had chocolate ice cream as a dessert on Eren’s request, the brunet had another request for his sweetheart.

“Marco… I want to make love.”

“Huh?”

“I want to make love with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” He said, taking him by the hand and leading him to his bedroom. Marco was taken aback by that sudden request. Eren had received quite a blow that afternoon, he was sure there was no way the brunet was in the mood for sex. It came as a surprise yes, but he surely wasn’t going to refuse making love with his sweetheart. And if it could bring his boyfriend any comfort in this hard time, then he was even more happy to fulfill his wish.

*

Marco chanted praises for his beauty and other sweet nothings in Eren’s ear, before starting to trace kisses all over his bare body.

Eren closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on Marco and Marco alone. But his mind kept traveling to other places. Places he wanted so much to forget and never visit again.

Distance.

He needed distance. He needed to make new memories, beautiful memories of love making with his boyfriend, to put distance between now and the horrid event of that afternoon. 

Distance. 

He needed distance from that moment. 

From his rough hands all over his body. 

From his breath on his neck. 

From his sweat on his body. 

From his voice. 

From his scent. 

From his face.

“Eren, honey, are you okay? Are you cold?”

“W-What…?”

“You’re trembling, are you cold?”

Eren bolted to a sitting position, as soon as he realized he was indeed shaking like a leaf. He felt Marco wrapping a blanket around him, but little did it help. His weren’t shivers of cold, they were shivers of fear. Marco put a hand on the brunet’s forehead to check his temperature, but to his surprise, he didn’t find it to be warm and clammy as he had expected. It was cold, skin dry.

“Eren, are you… are you scared?” He realized with horror.

But the boy’s mind had already started traveling far from there. To obscure places, to memories he was trying so hard to push to the back of his mind. But they just kept resurfacing.

His breathing became uneven, cold sweats running down his spine. The taller boy wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer, pressing the brunet’s ear against his chest. Eren could hear his heartbeat. Nothing in the world could calm him down better than hearing someone’s heartbeat, than feeling’s someone’s soft touch.

“It’s okay honey, you’re okay… you’re safe.”

Marco’s voice was like sun rays that cut through the clouds, reaching him in his darkest hours. Eren’s breathing slowly started evening out, but soon tears started falling from his eyes.

“Marco… I’m scared…!” He admitted, throwing away his pride.

“I’m here, Eren, I’m here… I’ll always be here.” 


	7. Downfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, sorry it took so long for another chapter. I've been working so much on another fic that I kinda forgot to add next chapter <.< Sorry ^^"  
I'll add the remaining chapters in a shorter amount of time.  
I hope you'll enjoy :)

It had taken Marco a lot of efforts that morning, to get Eren out of bed. The boy had hidden his head under the pillow, groaning and mumbling how he wanted to stay home. His boyfriend couldn’t know. He couldn’t know that the source of Eren’s suffering was hidden in that school. A place of knowledge and friendship, a place where most kids could, and should, feel safe.

But not Eren.

He never wanted to set foot in that damned school again. He was like a bird getting inside a cage on his own, but when what awaited him outside was loneliness and even more pain, what other choice did he have?

What awaited him outside, was an even smaller cage. A larger, golden cage is still a cage, but at least he could spread and flap his wings, even if there wasn’t enough room to fly.

At least, now he had Marco’s arm around him while he walked through the gateway to hell. At least, he also had his friends to help him go on in that hell. Even though they were unaware of the suffering being in school brought him.

They had arrived at school just in time. Usually, Eren always arrived in class ten minutes earlier, so he had the time to chat with Marco and their friends while setting up his desk for work. But that morning, he had been more sluggish in getting ready.

While they were walking to class, Eren saw Levi mopping the floor. He had washed the handkerchief the janitor had given him the other day to dry his tears, with the intention of giving it back to him together with his apologizes.

“Wait Marco, I need to hand this back to mister Levi.” He said, taking the handkerchief out of the pocket of his jeans.

“What’s that?”

“A handkerchief. I was still in school when… when Aunt Faye called to give me the news. I started crying and he gave me this.”

“That was so sweet of him.”

“Yeah… But I was upset and I treated him like shit.”

“Oh, Eren don’t think too much about that. You’re going through a difficult time, I’m sure he understands.” He said, patting him on the back to encourage him. It was all Eren needed to walk up to the janitor.

“Good morning, Mister Levi.”

“Eren,” Levi raised his eyes from his work, pleasantly surprised to see him, “Good morning. I hope you’re feeling better, kid.”

Eren evaded the question by handing the handkerchief to the man.

“I… wanted to give this back.” He said shily. When Levi took it back, he felt the unmistakable fresh smell of lavender.

“You washed it? There was no need. But thank you.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you yesterday…”

“It’s alright, kid. You don’t have to apologize to me. But please, whatever got you upset, talk about it to someone. Talk to your friends, to your boyfriend, to a teacher, but just talk. Don’t keep all the problems to yourself, okay? People will help you.”

Eren became bright eyed. It was genuine concern the one coming from the janitor, and it made him feel so warm inside, to know there were people out there who genuinely cared, who had no ulterior motives. At least he wanted to believe Levi was one of them.

“I know… I already talked to my boyfriend about it.”

He wished he could. But he couldn’t tell Marco the truth. Still, having him home the other night had been soothing for his soul, even if he couldn’t tell him the real reasons behind his pain.

Levi smiled in relief, “Then that’s good. Go to class now, it’s getting late.” He said, giving him a friendly pat on the arm.

Eren went back to Marco, who was waiting for him a few meters away. He welcomed him back with a warm, proud smile as he wrapped his arm around him again.

Eren liked Levi. Their janitor used to be such a grumpy, aloof guy most of the time, but he had just showed him how deep inside, he was a softie. His friends had actually told him about this hidden part of their janitor, but the brunet couldn’t believe it.

At least until yesterday, when he finally discovered that part of Levi with his own eyes.

It was so strange to think about, how people end up being completely different from how we idealized them and imagine them to be.

On one side, there was Erwin. A charming, affable man who had once been his hero. But he turned out to be the most venomous snake of all.

On the other, there was Levi. An unfriendly looking, detached man who seemed to be impossible to approach. But he turned out to have a heart of gold underneath that cold demeanor.

It gave Eren a little hope, to know that at least there were people like Levi in the world. People who really cared.

*

“I guess Marco and Eren aren’t coming today.” Jean was leaning against the wall, next to the door to their classroom.

“I told you they were both going to get sick.” Connie said. Sasha rested her arm on the shorter boy’s shoulder, while she looked down on him with a pompous smile.

“Oh yeah? Then who are those two coming here?”

When Connie turned around to look, Eren and Marco were indeed walking toward them. Usually, the two boys walked to school and in hand, but that morning they were basically glued to each other.

“Hey guys.”

“Morning.”

“Hey Eren, are you feeling better?” Jean asked.

“Yes, thanks to Marco I am. He’s my medicine.” Eren said, making the taller boy blush, before getting on his toes to kiss him on the lips.

“Aww!” Sasha was moved by the display of affection, too bad that her two friends didn’t share the same sentiment.

“Ugh, do you guys have to be so cheesy first thing in the morning?” Jean complained, while Connie was rolling his eyes.

Sasha sighed in resignation, “This is why you two are still single.”

Hearing the commotion from inside the classroom, Mikasa and Armin went out to check what was happening. The girl’s smile spread from ear to ear when she saw Eren.

“Eren! You’re here.”

“Good morning, Mikasa, Armin.” Eren gave them a smile, even if it wasn’t as radiant and heartfelt as the ones he usually gave.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better. So, what did Professor Smith want with you?”

Eren paled. He felt his legs almost giving in. How he managed to stay on his feet, he didn’t know.

“What…?”

“Yesterday, he kept you in his office for more than an hour. That stupid old man, what did he want?”

“Uh, nothing important, Mikasa…”

“You must’ve talked about something, he-”

“I said nothing important!” He yelled, impulsively. Realizing what tone he had just used, he crossed his arms, looking at everywhere except the ravenette, “Jeez… Why do you care so much anyway…”

“S-Sorry…” Mikasa apologized, meekly.

Eren just walked past her and got inside the classroom, without exchanging another word with anyone.

“Gee, what’s gotten into him?” Connie wondered.

“Please, don’t be mad at him. He’s going through a rough time.” Marco said, apologetically. 

“What happened?” Armin asked, apprehensive. He knew Marco was probably not going to tell them, but he needed to at least try. He had been through something like this once, and he had chosen to ignore Eren, hoping that whatever was bugging his friend would to go away on its own.

And he would be damned if he was going to repeat the same mistake again. Armin always knew there was a reason he retained his memories in this life, and that must be it. To make up for the errors of his past.

“You know I won’t tell you. He will when he feels ready.” Marco answered him, unsurprisingly.

Once he had said that, he went to take his seat next to Eren, putting a hand reassuringly on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He was still very tense, but relaxed even just a little under his touch.

*

While taking notes in class, Eren and Marco were holding hands. The brunet was ambidextrous, so he had no problem writing with his left hand while holding his boyfriend’s hand with the right one. That constant touch was everything he needed to keep his anxiety in check.

None of their teachers had anything to say about them holding hands, but then the devil himself came along.

“I know you two are in love and everything, but right now it’s not the time. Concentrate on the lesson.”

History class was the one class when Eren needed Marco’s touch more than anything. But of course the devil had to snuff out even the faintest light in his life. He had taken away his dignity, his freedom, his peace that he had taken so long to build.

And now he was taking away his one comfort too.

“Asshole…” Eren muttered to himself, as he reluctantly had to let go of his boyfriend’s hand. But the Professor seemed to have heard his mumblings.

“What did you say, Jäger?”

Eren glared at him straight in the eyes with the look of death of a tiger of the forest. Did that devil really think he could make him submit? That he would hang his head low and accept every possible humiliation?

He was dead wrong.

“I said you’re an asshole, Mister Smith.” He declared, teeth bared. His statement made a general uproar arise in his class. Eren Jäger, who was a straight A student, always so polite and respectful with both his teachers and classmates, was now giving attitude to a Professor? It was hard to believe. And surely, the whole school was going to talk about it for days on end.

The only one who was not amused, was the devil himself.

“Get out of my class, right now.” He said in a serious tone. Was it supposed to be a punishment? Because there was nothing Eren wanted more than getting out of there.

“About fucking time!” The brunet said with relief, as he exited the class slamming the door behind him.

“Professor, can I please-”

“No, Bodt. You can’t go after your boyfriend. Let him throw his tantrum.”

“But Professor, he’s not feeling good-”

“I said no, Bodt. Now go to page 234.”

*

Ten minutes later, Jean asked to be excused. He told the teacher he needed to go to the bathroom, when in truth he just wanted to go check on Eren. Marco had understood that, and mouthed him a thank you on his way out.

After searching for him for a few minutes, he headed to the courtyard under the direction of Levi, who had seen the boy going outside.

The brunet was indeed there. The courtyard was almost deserted, if it wasn’t for Eren, Jean himself, and another two guys he recognized to be seniors. Jean never talked to them, he knew them by their fame. They were said to be slackers who did nothing but skip classes and cause trouble. And Eren was an honor student. What was he doing with them?

He had his answers shortly after. He asked them for a cigarette and a lighter, which they gave him, but not before the boy handed them a few bucks.

Once the older boys had gone away and Eren had sat down smoking, Jean approached him.

“I didn’t know you were a smoker.”

“What do you care…”

“Whoa, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

Eren didn’t answer him. He didn’t even pay attention to him, taking instead a long drag of his cigarette. Jean went to sit next to him, and put an arm around the brunet’s neck, bringing him closer to him.

“C’mon, what’s gotten into you?”

“None of your business.” He said, removing Jean’s arm from around his neck.

“Stop being a dick!” He said, punching him lightly on the arm, “You treated Mikasa like shit earlier! She had done nothing to you.”

“She was being nosy!” Eren retorted.

“Because she cares, you idiot!”

Once again Eren didn’t answer. He just kept smoking, ignoring Jean.

“I care too, y’know. Now, do you want to tell me what’s going on or do I have to drag every word out of you?”

“You should go back to class before that asshole gets onto your ass too.”

He evaded the question. If Jean summarized his outburst earlier in class with the way he reacted to Mikasa’s question and how he kept referring to their Professor as an ‘asshole’, then the result was simple.

“Say Eren... Did something happen between you and the Professor yesterday?”

Once again, Eren ignored him, taking another long drag. His clenched jaws didn’t go unnoticed by Jean.

“I thought you looked up to him.”

“You’re right, Jean. I _looked _up to him. Not anymore.”

“You said he helped you a lot in the past. It’s weird to see you act like this toward him.”

Eren started scratching the back of his neck, “Urgh! Why do you all care so much?! He’s a fucking asshole, whatever he did in the past. Period.”

It was obviously a touchy subject for Eren, so Jean decided to drop it. He needed to change his strategy.

“Okay… I won’t pry anymore.”

“Good.”

“Can I ask you why it’s the first time I see you smoking, even if we’ve known each other for months?”

“I don’t smoke usually. Just when I’m nervous.”

“Why is that?”

Eren sighed, his eyes clouding with sadness. Jean could tell he had finally decided to stop being grumpy and to finally open up. He was glad he insisted in trying to make him talk, instead of giving up on it.

“My aunt… she could lose my custody. I could end up in a group home.”

“Shit.”

“I may never see any of you guys again. I may never see Marco again.” His eyes started watering, and he quickly brushed away a tear that had escaped.

“Shit, Eren I am so sorry…” Jean was at a loss for words. He felt like he should’ve said something more, he just didn’t know what.

“There’s nothing you or anyone can do about it. I’ve tried Jean, I’ve tried so fucking hard. But no matter what I do I always end up in the same hell.”

Jean patted him on the back, and his hand lingered there, rubbing soothing circles.

“Dude, it’s not your fault. We’re minors, and I know it sucks but we literally have no say in what happens to us.”

Back in their previous life they were treated like adults. Now they had to ask permission even to go to the bathroom. Jean was okay with it most of the time, since it granted them the freedom to be carefree, but in moments like that, he could see how flawed the system was. Someone like Eren, having no advocacy in what happened to him? It was bad for anyone, but for Eren it must’ve been torture.

The brunet kept staring at the grass, his eyes red and his look empty. Just like he felt on the inside. Empty.

“I worked for a fucking year in that stupid restaurant like a slave,” he started venting out through gritted teeth, “I had to literally go and whore myself out to rent a fucking decent apartment… all to end up in a fucking group home again. I went through all that shit for nothing.”

Jean put his arm around him again, this time Eren didn’t protest, but leaned in the touch instead.

“C’mon dude, have a little hope. Maybe your aunt won’t lose your custody.”

“Yeah… maybe…”

Half a lie doesn’t make a truth. But there was no way Eren could open up about one event of his past he felt like sharing, without mixing it with half of a lie.

“Jean… I haven’t told this to anyone besides Marco… When my parents died, I didn’t go to live with Aunt Faye immediately. I stayed in a group home for a while. And… one of my caretakers…”

“Jean!” He was interrupted by Sasha, who was running toward them. She stopped in front of the two boys, then rested her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath.

“Everything cool, Sash?” The taller boy asked.

“The Professor… sent me to bring you back,” she explained, still breathless, “He’s kinda pissed, not gonna lie.”

When she raised her head, the first thing she noticed were Eren’s bloodshot eyes.

“Hey Eren, are you okay?” She asked.

“No, I’m not...” He admitted.

“Oh gosh, what happened?” Sasha went to sit on Eren’s other side.

His lower lip started quivering, he was unable to keep talking. Unable to keep lying to his friends like that.

“His aunt… it’s possible she might lose Eren’s custody.” Jean explained in his place.

“That’s horrible…!” She gave the boy a side hug, holding his arm while resting her head on his shoulder. She tried to give him even the slightest of comfort in this trying time. Jean too gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. There wasn’t much else they could do for him.

Eren felt overwhelmed. He felt like he didn’t deserve friends like them.

“Seriously guys, go back to class. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.”

“We’re gonna get in trouble anyway. The smell from your cigarette probably latched onto us.”

“Holy shit, I’m so sorry…!”

Jean nudged him in the arm, “Hey, it was supposed to be a joke! Don’t worry about it.”

“You smoke cigarettes?” Sasha asked, surprised, finally noticing the extinguished cigarette in his hand.

“Sometimes, only when I’m nervous.” Eren admitted, looking away. Then, he started biting on his lower lip. He didn’t feel particularly proud of it.

“I never understood people who are dependent on cigarettes. I mean, why be dependent on nicotine when you can be dependent on food?”

All three of them broke into laughters.

“We should get back. Or Mister Smith’s gonna get on our cases.”

“You got that, finally.” Eren smiled, not half-heartedly for once.

“Will you be okay?” Sasha asked, worried.

“I’ll be fine.” Eren said with a reassuring smile.

“Yes, go back to class Braus, Kirschtein.”

Speak of the devil. Unlike the other two, Eren didn’t gasp and turn around when he heard the Professor, unlike Jean and Sasha. He just clenched his jaws, eyebrows furrowed.

“Professor, we were-”

“I don’t want to hear any excuses. Go back to class you two, I need to exchange a few words with your classmate.”

Sasha, who was still holding Eren’s arm, felt the boy go stiff. They both looked at him worryingly, but the boy kept staring at his hands. He was trying to refrain his mouth from curling into a snarl, and it took him all his self-control.

Reluctantly, Sasha and Jean had to leave, but not before furtively shooting bad looks at the Professor.

“What do you want?” Eren spat as soon as his friends left. He didn’t even turn around to face the Professor, he kept giving his back to him.

“You need to calm down. Don’t ever disrespect me in front of my class again.”

“Or what?”

“I may not be as nice to you as I’ve been up until now.”

Eren snorted, “Yeah, right. Fuck you.”

He couldn’t believe the nerves of that man. Did he really think he was still being nice? He _was_ nice to him. Once upon a time. But that was just like any other fairy tale: a lie.

Eren got up from where he was sitting, not even looking at him in the eyes before walking away.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

When he started following, Eren let out an exasperated sigh as he stopped and turned around.

“You said to not come back until the end of the class, right? You never said where I was supposed to be.”

“Fine, walk away. I’ll see you at your place this afternoon.”

“Don’t you even dare to come close to my house!” Eren barked, baring his teeth.

“Your house? Do I have to remind you that the property is mine? And have you already forgotten you’re supposed to pay rent today?”

The Professor was always the one to come to his house to collect his rent money. He would usually stay for a while, they would have tea and then he would leave. To think that Eren once used to love when the day to pay rent came. He used to love talking to him over a cup of tea. Erwin was his first friend he had made in town, his first ally. But after yesterday, he had shattered all of Eren’s faith in him.

“I fucking hate you.”

Erwin smirked. He got closer to the boy, looking around to make sure the courtyard was still deserted.

“We’ll see about that when you’ll be moaning beneath me.” He whispered in his ear.

It left Eren completely petrified. Rage, disgust, outrage, fear. All these emotion came together, leaving him unable to say or do anything.

He just turned around and left. Tears were falling out before he knew it. He put a hand on his mouth, trying to refrain his sobs from coming out. He didn’t want to cry, not before making it to a place where no one could see him.

*

The bathroom wasn’t an option, since at that hour it wasn’t going to be empty, unlike the previous day. Then, he saw the door to the janitor’s closet. He sighed deeply in relief, when he found it empty. Careful that no one saw him, he quietly entered and closed the door without making any sound. Now, he could finally let out all of his tears with nobody bothering him.

He leaned his back on the wall, letting his body slide to the floor. He liberated the sobs stuck in his throat, letting his tears fall free. He put his hands on his ears, like doing so could block out the outside world. But the voices ringing in his ears didn’t come from the outside, they came from inside his head.

His mind couldn’t help going back to that last comment his Professor, the Devil, had made. How could he say something like that? It made Eren tremble in rage and also shame.

He knew he shouldn’t be ashamed. He couldn’t stop his body from enjoying sex. Even when his mind and his whole being hated it, he couldn’t refrain his body from having its natural reaction.

Then why did he feel ashamed?

Why was he feeling shame for something that was forced upon him?

He didn’t hear the door opening, and a man coming in. But he did notice it when strong arms wrapped around him.

“Eren, it’s okay kid. It’s okay…”

It was Levi’s voice. Eren cried even more intensively, as he rested his head on Levi’s shoulder, letting the man hug and comfort him as he wailed.

*

There was no way he was letting him into his apartment again. That was his safe haven, where he and Marco had made their nest. It was the only place where he had been able to reproduce that atmosphere, that warmth belonging to a family. He didn’t care if the property was his, Eren wasn’t going to let that devil taint his home with his presence.

Never again.

That was why he went to Erwin’s home that afternoon, to bring him the money himself.

“Here’s your fucking money.” He said, handing him an envelope with the cash.

“Keep them. You’ll see Eren, our friendship will bring this and many other benefits to the both of us.”

Eren slammed the envelope on the table, “I’m not your fucking whore, take your fucking money!”

“As you wish.” He said, as he started unbuttoning the brunet’s shirt. The latter clenched his fists, trying to refrain himself from beating the man up.

“You can make me moan all you want, I will still hate you. If anything, I’ll hate you more.”

Erwin chuckled, not taking his words filled with venom seriously.

“You will lose that attitude with time.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

*

Eren felt lost as he walked the way back to his home. If he could even call it that anymore. He wished he could find another apartment, but there was no way he could rent a home from somebody else. They were going to investigate into his past, and it wouldn’t have been hard for anyone to find out he was a minor without guardians. He seriously started considering the option of going to live under a bridge. But then, how would he be able to take care of his appearance for school?

He had no choice but go back to his empty apartment. But he didn’t want it to be empty. Taking out his phone, he started dialing his boyfriend’s number.

“Hi honey!”

“Hey babe…. Marco, do you think you can you come at my place right now?”

“Yeah, sure! Have you finished your math home-works yet? We could do them together.”

“I’m not really in the mood for home-works right now…”

He wasn’t in the mood for anything that weren’t cuddles right in that moment. Not even in the mood for talking. But there was something he needed to confess to Marco.

“Did something happen, honey?”

“No… I just don’t feel like studying today.”

“Is your aunt back in town yet? Is there any news… about that thing we talked about yesterday?”

“I’ll tell you all about it later, babe…”

“Oh, okay honey. I’m coming. See you soon, love you.”

“I love you too.”

*

Marco arrived at the apartment shortly after Eren did. He welcomed the freckled boy inside with a warm smile, and in exchange, Marco gave him the longest hug. Even if Eren hadn’t said anything, he could tell by his eyes how much he needed it.

“I need to tell you something…” Eren said as soon as they pulled apart.

“What is it honey? You know you can tell me anything.”

“It’s about my Aunt… I’ve been hiding something from you.”

Expectedly, Marco looked confused, but he was ready to listen. He let Eren take him by the hand and lead him to the couch, where they sat down and he started telling him his true story.

Eren had cried all his tears that day. So when he finally told Marco the truth, his eyes remained dry. He told the whole story detached, like it didn’t concern him. Sometimes, it all actually felt like somebody else’s life.

The tears though, fell from Marco’s eyes. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him tight to his chest.

“Honey… I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely you’ve must have felt…”

“You’re not mad at me? For lying?”

Marco would lie if he said he wasn’t hurt that he didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth from the start. But if he listened to reason, he knew why Eren did that. He couldn’t find in it him to be mad, it wasn’t even a question. With everything the brunet went through, it would be petty.

“Of course not, Eren…” He planted a kiss on his boyfriend’s head, and then resting his chin on it, “You won’t be alone anymore. I’ll be next to you.”

“Thank you…” Eren said with teary eyes. 

Maybe one day, he would’ve had the courage to tell Marco about the things that devil was doing to him.

For now, he felt relieved with letting just that one secret off his chest. He couldn’t stand Erwin being the only one to know about it.

Marco was the only one worthy enough of that trust. And he was going to tell him everything.

One secret at a time.


	8. Eren's Truth

It was a Saturday morning of May. The swallows were back in the sky, the flowers were blossoming and the bees were buzzing all around the meadow. Eren and his friends had taken advantage of the beautiful day to have a picnic in the park, all together. All except for Historia, who had gone on a date with Ymir. The others always wondered why Marco and Eren never followed their example, spending their free time with the squad instead of alone with each other. Little did they know, Marco used to spent the night at Eren’s place ever since he had told him about his secret. He didn’t want to leave him alone. He also had to make sure he ate enough and woke up in time for school. Eren wasn’t well in that period. 

The weather was mildly hot, but the shadow of the trees protected them from the sun. 

“Hey Eren, you’re not gonna eat that?” Sasha asked, pointing to his almost untouched yakisoba bread.

Eren shrugged, “No, I’m not very hungry.”

“But you haven’t eaten almost anything!”

“I ate too much at breakfast.” It was a blatant lie that he tried to hide beneath one of his sad smiles, “You can have it if you want, Sasha.”

In other circumstances, Sasha wouldn’t have made him repeat his offer twice. But she, like the others, was worried for Eren. He looked like he could faint at any moment.

They all noticed something was wrong with Eren recently. He had gotten quieter, skinnier. He didn’t have that radiance he possessed when he first got into town. Even his skin looked pale and lackluster. His beautiful sea green eyes had lost their sparkle, and his radiant smiles got rarer with every passing day. Even when he did smile, his heart just wasn’t in it. Even when he was with Marco, every single one of his smiles always had a tint of sadness in them. They never reached his eyes.

And his eyes never lied. Never.

Before anyone could say anything else, Eren’s phone rang, “Sorry guys, I need to take this,” He said as he got up from the table and walked away, “Hello?”

“Have you seen how skinny he’s got?” Sasha commented once he was far enough not to hear them, but she still used a hushed tone just to be sure, “He took like two bites out of that yakisoba. Maybe three.”

“Maybe I should try talking to him?” Armin proposed, meekly.

“And for what? He never opens up about these things with anyone except Marco…” Mikasa noted, with sad eyes. She couldn’t see it because her gaze was lowered, but Marco had the same sad eyes as her. The freckled boy opened his mouth to reply, but Jean preceded him.

“Well… He did try to open up to me a few weeks ago. But then Sasha interrupted us…”

“What?! When did that happen?!” The girl exclaimed, outraged.

“When he was rude to Professor Smith and he kicked him out of class, remember?”

“Damn… and you didn’t ask him about it later on?”

“Well, the occasion never presented itself again…”

“What was he trying to tell you?” Armin asked, with apprehension. He felt it could be an important piece of information.

Jean sighed, crossing his arms, “He told me he was put in a group home for a while before going to live with his aunt. And that something happened, but he didn’t have the time to continue the story.”

“Oh…” Marco’s eyes became forlorn, as he looked down at his hands, “I think I know what he was talking about…” 

“Goddamn it!” Eren’s call seemed to have ended, and not in a good way. The boy barely resisted the temptation of smashing his phone in a million pieced. Instead, he held it tight in his hand and started pacing back and forth with a hand in his hair.

Mikasa was faster than Marco in getting up, and for a brief second their eyes met. Raven eyes that seemed to say  _ don’t worry, I’ve got this _ , and the boy decided that for this once, he would’ve let her take care of it.

The ravenette approached the boy from behind, putting a hand on his shoulder. When the boy turned around his face was red from the rage. Mikasa put both her hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him down. Then they heard Mikasa say  _ Let’s go for a walk  _ before she linked her arm with his and they entered the woods.

That left them more time to talk freely, without worrying about being overheard.

“Marco, you were saying you know what he was talking about?” Armin asked, very keen on wanting to know more about that matter. 

“Dude, I’m not sure Eren would want him to tell us in his place.” Connie said.

“No, this… this would be hard for Eren to talk about. I’m sure he’d be relieved if he didn’t have to tell the story himself… And since he was about to tell you…”

Marco took a pained breath, his eyes brimming with tears. It was almost as he had lived that painful event on his own skin.

“He told me that while he was living in that group home, one of his caretaker molested him…” 

Sasha covered her mouth with both her hands. Connie’s jaw dropped. Jean’s eyes widened in shook. Armin froze. But he snapped out of his state to ask a question.

“His aunt never reported them?!” 

“He never told anyone. Except me…”

Marco dried the tears that were falling from his eyes. Jean patted the freckled boy on the back, trying to give his best friend some comfort.

“He told me he was over it, but I’m not sure he is… When we started knowing each other, I was surprised of how he kept smiling despite everything he had gone through… But, I feel like all this unresolved trauma is finally catching up to him.”

It was easier to hide the pain behind a smile. To just put certain things in a box and leave them in the corner of your heart, hoping they will somehow vanish on its own. He couldn’t keep being strong forever. Eren had always been so strong, but even him had limits. The box was going to open one day, it was going to hurt more than he could ever imagine.

“I know you guys think I’m the keeper of all Eren’s secrets, but doesn’t tell me everything either. I don’t want to force him… But I know there’s something that’s eating him up, and I’m so worried…”

Armin put his hand on Marco’s, “I will try talking to him. I don’t know if it will work, but I have to at least try.”

Marco looked at him with a smile that was brimming of gratitude, “Please do. You’re better with words than me.”

*

When Mikasa and Eren came back from their walk, the latter seemed to have calmed down. He was even wearing a small smile, while talking to the ravenette.

As they sat back down at their respective places, they noticed the others had suddenly gone quiet.

“Were you talking about my skinny ass?” He joked, despite everything.

Jean and the others snorted, but Armin didn’t detect the sarcasm and started panicking.

“What? No! We would never…!”

“Nah, it’s okay. Even Yelena noticed. She just broke our arrangement.”

A chorus of “What?!” was what followed.

“Yeah… basically, I’m screwed now.” 

Marco wrapped his arm around his boyfriend, laying a kiss on his temple. Mikasa crossed her arms, huffing and cursing Yelena in her mind.

“That hyena wasn’t to be trusted. I knew that since the beginning.” She said with venom. Eren was rightfully mad at Yelena, but he didn’t share the same hatred of Mikasa. Not in the same amount of her, at least. 

“I mean, she had every right to end the arrangement. Thank god I saved some money up…”

“That’s good. How long do you think they will last you?” Marco asked, hopeful.

“If I manage them carefully maybe five months… I don’t know what I’ll do after that…”

“Can’t you just find another sugar mommy?” Connie asked.

It was the most obvious option. But Eren wasn’t exactly looking for one when he met Yelena. It was her who had made the proposal to him. He wouldn’t even know where to begin, how could you ask a woman something like that? Eren was shy at the core. Unless someone else proposed to him, keeping on with sugar dating wasn’t an option.

“It’s not that easy. I don’t work in that restaurant for rich bastards anymore, I wouldn’t even know where to find another one.”

“Well, we won’t let you starve, right guys?” Armin said, looking at the others.

“I can bring you vegetables every week. My mom has a gardening hobby, she always reap so much more than we can eat.” Mikasa said.

“Yeah! And my dad likes hunting,” Sasha joined in, “We have so much dried meat, I can share it with you no problem.”

“You can come eat at my place sometimes,” Jean proposed, “My mom will be happy to have you, I have a feeling she likes you more than she likes me.” 

“I can bring you unsold bread from my parent’s bakery.” Connie wanted to give his contribution too.

“And you know you can come at my place anytime you want. My parents adore you.” Marco said, finally.

Eren smiled, a genuine one this time, “You guys are all amazing… but how am I supposed to pay rent?”

“Honey, Mister Smith is not going to make you pay rent. I’m sure that if you explain the situation to him, he’ll understand.”

“Yeh, you said he helped you a lot in the past, I’m sure he will again.” Armin said, wanting to confide in the good faith of Erwin Smith. Eren clicked his tongue. If only they knew at what price that man’s bounty came.

“Yeah… help…”

Eren knew Erwin wasn’t going to make him pay rent, but not out of the goodness of his heart like Marco, Armin and the others seemed to believe. He wasn’t taking another humiliation from the man, he wasn’t going to accept that. He was going to pay rent every month, even if he had to sell his own blood to do that. 

He had accepted to whore himself out with Yelena, but he would never accept becoming the same for Erwin.

“And if things go wrong, you can always come to stay at my place.” Marco reminded him.

“Thank you Marco, but… I don’t want to burden your parents like that.”

“Yeah, that’s not a practical solution,” Jean reasoned, “Your parents can’t host both him and his aunt. If it was Eren alone that would’ve been another matter.”

Both Marco and Eren suddenly became tense. It was a small change in their body language, eyes slightly widened, muscles gone stiff, but they eyed each other like they had committed a mistake.

“Y-Yeah, you’re right…”

Silence fell upon them. The only sounds present was the wind in the trees, and the distant voices of the other people in the park.

“Cheer up guys!” Armin interposed, “You said you have enough money for five months, right? That’s enough time to find another solution.”

Eren wanted to believe that. They all wanted to believe that. But there weren’t many positive endings to that story, and they all knew it. Armin included.

What Eren needed, was a miracle. 

A miracle indeed.

*

The next morning, Armin opted to walk to school instead of taking the bus with Mikasa. He knew Marco and Eren walked to school every day, so he was hoping to run into them.

After walking for ten minutes, he caught sight of them the distance, walking hand in hand like usual. The blond started jogging toward them. 

“Hey guys, good morning!” He said as he almost caught up to them.

“Good morning, Armin.” Marco greeted him.

“Morning.” Eren greeted him too, although groggily. His chocolate hair was slightly disheveled, like he had just gotten out of bed. Or like someone had to drag him out of bed, which was exactly what Marco had to do almost every morning.

They waited for him until he had fully caught up, and then the three boys started walking to school together.

“Eren, I need your help with something...” Armin asked, with counterfeit shyness.

“Sure, what is it?” 

“It’s my mom’s birthday in a week and I have no clue what to get her. You have better taste than me for these things, I really need your help, please?”

“Better taste? Why, because I’m gay?”

“What? No! I didn’t mean that!”

Both Marco and Eren started laughing.

“It was a joke.” The brunet said, patting him on the arm.

“So, what do you say?”

“Sure, I’ll be happy to help.”

“Thank you!” He said, and then looked at Marco, “You don’t mind if I steal him for one afternoon, right?”

“He’s all yours. Just bring him back in one piece.”

*

Eren and Armin spent the whole afternoon going around shops. In the end, their longest stop was at a perfumery. Eren had spent so much time talking about fragrances, olfactive families and to what personality each of them suited the best, it almost made Armin get a headache. He never thought there was so much to know about the perfume world. But the perfume they had chosen in the end, was something he was sure his mom would like.

After going shopping, Armin invited Eren to his house for a snack, the shopping session had left them both tired and hungry.

“Where are your parents?” Eren asked, after they had entered with Armin’s keys.

“They’re both researchers, that’s why they’re not home very often.”

“That must be kind of lonely.” He said, eyes filled with sympathy.

“A little, but I have Mikasa next door, and she’s like a sister to me.”

Armin wondered if Eren thought of him as a sad and lonely boy after what he had said, he wondered if he saw himself in him. Truth was, even if Armin wished his parents were home more often, having them both alive was more than he could ask for. He felt he was infinitely luckier than Eren, who had his parents stripped from him in this life too. 

They snacked on some cake Armin’s mother had baked the previous day. The blonde was afraid Eren would refuse to eat anything, but he knew the brunet had a sweet tooth, so that’s why he chose to offer him the cake, which Eren had eaten with pleasure.

After they were done eating, they went upstairs to Armin’s room, where the latter took Eren’s hand in both his.

“Eren… I wanted to talk to you about something. Me and the others… we’re worried about you.”

Eren smiled nervously, “What do you mean Armin? I’m fine.”

“No, Eren you’re not. You’ve lost weight, you’re distracted, even your grades got worse.”

Eren scratched his nape with his free hand.

“Listen… Marco told us about what happened to you, in foster care a few years ago…”

“Ah, he told you about that… It’s okay, I mean, it happened years ago. I’m over it.”

Armin rubbed his thumbs on the back of Eren’s hand.

“Listen, Eren… I’m not sure I have the right words to say to you. I’m not sure how I can help, but I know that this, horrible, horrible thing that happened to you in the past is still hurting you. Perhaps, I was thinking you should ask the help of a professional. I’m sure they’ll be able to help more than me, or Marco, or anyone else can. And we’ll be there to hold your hand throughout all of it.”

Eren was speechless. He kept opening and closing his mouth, trying to find something to say, but nothing came.

“Armin… I…!”

A pained sob that had been stuck in Eren’s throat finally escaped. Eren put a hand on his mouth to prevent more of them from coming, but tears and sobs kept violently erupting from him.

“Eren…! Eren, it’s okay…” Armin took the brunet’s face in his hands, but he wouldn’t look at him. He had his eyes closed, his teeth biting at his own flesh in a forlorn attempt not to cry.

“I’m s-sorry! I’m so sorry!” He mumbled out between his sobs.

“Eren, it’s not your fault… it’s not your fault…” Armin hugged him close, but the boy was inconsolable. 

“It is! You’ve all been so nice and I’ve lied, I’ve done nothing but lie to you! I even lied to Marco…!”

The rhythm of Eren’s breathing became faster. Armin pulled away from the hug; knew he had to do something fast before the boy had a hyperventilation attack.

“Eren, take a deep breath, follow me. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

The brunet did exactly as Armin was instructing him.

“Good, like this Eren. In, slowly, and now out…”

*

It took a while for his breathing to even out. They were now sitting on Armin’s bed, Eren had rested his head on Armin’s shoulder while the latter had his arms wrapped around him.

Eren was looking at the floor with vacant eyes. 

“I lied,” he said in a raspy voice, “I’ve done nothing but lying since I came in this town. I’m a fucking sociopath.”

“Eren, you’re not a sociopath.” He reassured him, wondering how such a thought had entered his mind. It almost sounded silly. He was probably like one of those who learned the word sociopath from movies and never really grasped its true meaning.

“I am.” His voice… it was devoid of any hope. He almost sounded like that day at the ocean. Armin didn’t want to think about it, it was too scary to think he could commit the same mistake he did back then. When he didn’t do anything, letting his best friend get enveloped in his own sadness.

“Eren, you’re not a sociopath, trust me. The fact that you’re feeling remorse already proves you’re not.”

“But I’m still a piece of shit. All I do is lie… you guys have been the best of friends ever since I came here, and all I did was lie…” 

“I’m sure you had your reasons. But if you want to tell me Eren, I’m all ears. I won’t judge you, I won’t yell at you, I won’t get mad. I promise.”

Eren bit his lower lip, and started recounting his story. This time, from the beginning, with no lies in between. 

“My parents died in a car crush when I was ten… I was in the car with them, but for some reason I survived. I had an arm and a leg broken but I survived.”

At this point, Armin already had chills. An arm and a leg… he lost an arm and a leg in the battle of Trost. But what Eren said next, left him completely frozen.

“Sometimes… Sometimes I wish I had died with them…”

Armin stroked his back in a soothing manner.

“I’m sorry you feel that way Eren… But you found Marco, right? You found us. Wasn’t it worth surviving for that?”

“I know… you guys and Marco are the best thing that happened to me since that day,” Eren had a small smile while saying this, but it soon vanished, “But for almost five, long years, I was all alone…”

Alone? What did he mean alone? Didn’t he live with his aunt?

“What about your aunt?”

“I do have an aunt named Faye, but… she’s not my guardian. She wanted to take me in when my parents died, but her husband didn’t want me.”

He was left alone all this time, all because her aunt’s husband didn’t want to take him in? Armin felt a sudden, immense hate for the man, even if he never knew him.

“So you mean… You’ve been living on your own, all this time? But… how?”

“At first I was put into a foster home, but it was hell! I hated it there! I had to live in hell for four, long, horrible years before I took off.”

“You ran away?”

“Yes. It was horrible there. The other kids bullied me all the time, and our caretakers never did anything to help me. And then… then one of them assaulted me. That was when I couldn’t take it anymore. I stole a few grands from that piece of shit of and I took off. I lived on the streets for a few months before I bought a fake ID and started working in a restaurant. I had to work for 16 hours a day, I was basically a slave… that other piece of shit of my boss paid me barely enough to survive. I spent almost a year living on that restaurant’s leftovers. I thought I would be free after I took off, but I just jumped straight into another hell. Until I met Yelena, god she was my savior…!”

He hadn’t realized he had started crying again while recounting all of his story. He only noticed when Armin handed him a tissue, so he stopped for a moment to dry his eyes and blow his nose.

“Yelena was like… water, during the drought. It’s thanks to her that now I can eat decent food and rent a decent apartment, the quality of my life improved a lot thanks to her. But she couldn’t give me the one thing I truly wanted: a normal life. Then Professor Smith came along… He was just so…! He was so nice to me. He was… he was almost like a father to me…! And I told him everything! Like a stupid kid I told him everything about my situation…! I really thought he wanted to help me. That he genuinely cared for me! But… but he turned out to be the biggest snake of them all.”

He knew it. Armin knew there was something off about Erwin and his generosity towards Eren. The Commander was never a man of charity. He was a careful strategist, a patient planner. And sometimes, his ultimate motives were egoistic. It was something that took Armin literally a lifetime to realize. Because only in this life, he could see Erwin Smith with different eyes. He could now see with a clear mind who Erwin Smith really was. A selfish, arrogant man who liked to wallow in his own success.

He couldn’t begin to explain how much he regretted feeling inferior to him in his past life. Feeling like he was supposed to die in his place.

But he wanted to believe in his bounty in this life. He wanted to believe he was helping Eren just for the sake of helping a poor boy who couldn’t go to school. 

“What did he do?” Armin asked, with fear in his heart.

“He said he would help me get into school again… he falsified some documents, so that I could attend school without anyone knowing my aunt didn't have my custody… I really thought he did it for me, but…! He only wanted something in return…”

Armin’s eyes were brimming with tears, “Eren, what did he do to you?” 

“He… that day, when he called me into his office… we were supposed to go bowling, remember?”

“Yeah, when you got sick, right?”

“That day… He came onto me. I didn’t want it…! But he said he would tell the social services everything if I said no.”

Armin gently took Eren’s face in his hands, looking at him straight in the eyes, with a soft but serious expression.

“Eren, we need to report him.”

“He didn’t force himself on me, I just let him do it…” he admitted with shame in his eyes. 

“He blackmailed you! Rape by blackmail is still rape.”

“Even if they believed me… If I report him, I’m going back into the system. I might even go to juvie.”

He was right. He had stolen, he had falsified an ID. They judge was probably going to go easy on him given the circumstances of his life, but nothing was saving him from going into the system. He had no parents, his aunt couldn’t take him in even if she wanted, and Zeke… he didn’t even know he existed. 

There was no other solution. The only way out was through.

“You’ll be eighteen in just two years. It’s just a matter of endurance, another two years and you’ll be free.”

Armin was sure those last three words would do the charm, but Eren was shaking his head, shutting his eyes like that was a future he didn’t want to see. He didn’t even want to imagine it.

“Armin I can’t go back into that hell, I can’t!”

Maybe he had underestimated how hurt Eren actually was, how broken those years of loneliness had left him. Even if he didn’t remember, maybe his heart had some reminiscences of how he felt in his past life. Perhaps that’s why his will to not remain alone any longer was that strong. A pain so big, couldn’t disappear after one life. It couldn’t be washed away.

“Eren, you’re stronger than this, I know you are.”

“No, I’m not! I don’t want to be alone anymore Armin, I couldn’t stand that!”

“So you’re gonna keep letting Erwin take advantage of you?” His tone wasn’t accusatory. It was worried, horrified, sad. He didn’t want his best friend to go through that any longer.

“If that’s the price I need to pay, so be it.”

“See? You’re stronger than you think, Eren.” Armin smiled, however sadly, while putting his hand on the brunet’s shoulder. His tears were now running freely, and Eren felt the slightest bit responsible for them.

“Armin… I’m sorry I dumped all this shit on you. It must have been hard to hear…”

“Not nearly as much as it was hard for you to live it. Don’t feel guilt for opening up.”

Eren went in for a hug, which Armin gladly returned. The brunet snuggled up on his shoulder, feeling at home in his arms. It was a feeling he couldn’t quite explain. He felt like he had known Armin for a lifetime.

“Thank you so much Armin, you’re the first person I told, after Marco…”

“I’m glad you trust me that much, Eren.” Armin said, snuggling in the hug as well.

“Even though… I haven’t told him about…  _ that devil _ , yet.” Eren had said those words with scorn, his mouth almost curling into a snarl, but he soon relaxed again in his best friend’s hug.

He had called him devil. And wasn’t that ironic? Both of them had had that title in their past life. But Armin was convinced now more than ever that only one of them was deserving of it. And it wasn’t Eren.

“I don’t know what I would do without friends like you…”

“I’m glad I could help… I just wish I could do more.”

“There isn’t anything you can do,” Eren said, pulling away, “You know… all those years in that group home, I always used to daydream that one day, Aunt Faye, or some other relative I don’t know of, would come to take me away. What a silly dream, huh?”

Zeke.

When Eren said that, the first thing to come to Armin’s mind was Zeke’s face. That picture of him, on that sport magazine that Mikasa had showed him a few weeks ago. Perhaps, going into the system wasn’t the only other option Eren had. Mikasa was right, he should’ve listened to her sooner!

“Do you think it’s possible? That you might have other living relatives?”

Eren’s scratched the back of his neck, “Ah, I don’t know. I used to dream about it a lot, that I had an older brother or sister I know nothing of. But knowing how my dad was, I don’t think he would ever do that… just randomly going to bed with women, having kids without even knowing it… that’s not possible.”

“You know, there are sites that can help you find your relative. All we need is a sample of your DNA, and maybe a picture of your parents.”

Eren looked at Armin with wide eyes, eyebrows raised and lips slightly parted, “Wait, are you for real?”

“Leave it to me, Eren!” Armin said, maybe sounding too overly confident, but he couldn’t help it. He was confident this was going to work, “Do you think you can make me have those two things?”

“Uh… yeah, I think so?”

“Perfect! Just trust me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Armin saw a thing on Eren’s face he hadn’t seen in a long time: a hopeful smile.

*

After Marco came to bring Eren back home, Armin went straight to knock on the door of Mikasa’s house.

“Mikasa, do you think you saved enough money for two tickets to Marley?” He asked, as soon as the ravenette opened the door.

The girl looked pleasantly surprised, “You finally changed your mind?”

“Yes. We’re going to find Zeke.”

  
  
  



	9. Falling Into Darkness

The silence in the air was broken by Marco’s desperate cries. No one else dared to speak a word. Tired soldiers in a battle that lasted a day but that felt like years, tired soldier who had to end the life of one of their closest friends for the greater good. Armin stood there, petrified, before the body of who had once been his best friend. The stench of his blood was strong in the air, his long hair were sticking on his blood covered face. Marco closed his now lifeless eyes, his cries becoming even more desperate as he cradled his loved one’s body. The freckled boy looked at Armin and the rest of the alliance with eyes full of an intense rage and hatred.

“What have you done… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. Armin felt his heart shatter. He sunk to his knees, knowing he deserved all of his hate, all of his accusations.

Because the fault was his.

The fault was his.

“Armin, Armin! We’re here.”

The blonde woke up to Mikasa gently shaking him by the shoulder. He bolted to a sitting position, not realizing the tears shedding from his eyes.

“Are you okay, Armin?” She asked, slightly worried.

When one tear dropped on his hand, he finally realized it. He brushed them away quickly.

“Yeah, I just had… a very unpleasant dream.”

“I’m sorry… But c’mon, we must go.” She said, getting both of their bags. 

They had finally arrived in Liberio. They had traveled by sea all night since they didn’t have enough money to travel by air. Their departure had been sudden, and it arose in their friends a lot of questions, but they didn’t tell anyone the real reason why they were going to Marley. They didn’t even tell them they were going to Liberio specifically.

It had been easy to come up with an excuse for their sudden journey. What had been way harder than that, was convincing their respective parents to let them go on that trip to Marley. It had taken them a week straight of pleading, of trying to convince them they were responsible enough to go on that trip on their own. In the end, their parents had to give in. After all, they were both already sixteen, and they were paying for the trip with their own money. They didn’t understand why their kids were so keen on going to Liberio, but in the end they let them go, on the condition that the trip would only last three days, so they would lose as little days of school as possible.

The first day was spent for traveling to the city, and the last day was for traveling back. Which meant, they only had one day to find Zeke and convince him to take Eren’s custody.

But they hadn’t come to Liberio unprepared; ever since Mikasa had seen Zeke on that magazine, she had spent more time that she cared to share cyberstalking him. She was even able to find out his address, so they found his home very quickly. As soon as they set foot on Marley, they went straight to Zeke’s house, infiltrating quite easily. It was a big mansion with a wide garden, surrounded by high walls guarded by security men.

Eluding security had been the easiest part of the plan. They didn’t have 3dmg anymore, but their skills and competences from their past life remained. Even if their bodies were weaker.

Now, they just had to talk to Zeke, and they had no idea how. 

“This house is just too big!” Armin complained as he and Mikasa quietly surveyed the apparently empty halls.

“Where do you think Zeke’s room is?” Mikasa asked, like her friend, in a hushed tone.

“Aren’t you the one reading those magazines? How am I supposed to know!”

They both felt a strong grip on one of their arms, then they felt a pull backwards. Armin stumbled and almost fell. They turned around to see a familiar face, surely the last they were expecting to see.

“What did you think you were doing, brats? Stealing?!” The security guard’s grip on their arms got stronger, and the two whimpered in pain.

“We just wanted to talk to Zeke!” Armin tried to explain, hoping they wouldn’t kick them out of the house without even seeing the shadow of Zeke’s hair.

“We’re very big fans.” Mikasa lied, with a blank expression. She was never that good of an actress.

“Yeah tell that to somebody else. You’re not the firsts who try to come in here to steal his stuff and re-sell them online.”

“They are however the first who managed to get in.”

“Mister Fritz!”

There he was, in flesh and bones. He looked different than what he did in their previous life, his beard was short and well kept, and he had no glasses. Armin had always assumed he just used contacts during his baseball matches, but he had expected him to wear glasses in a more relaxed environment, like the one of his own home. He guessed that meant he never actually needed them.

“Let them go, Magath.” Zeke ordered.

“A-Are you sure, sir? These brats have broken and entered, and probably stolen! At least let me search them.”

“Don’t you see they’re just fans? C’mon, don’t you remember what’s like being a kid? Let them go.”

The man had to reluctantly follow the instructions of his boss, but he decided to stay on guard and told the other security men to do the same.

Mikasa and Armin rubbed their sore arms as Zeke gestured for them to follow him. He brought them to the living room, a very large and luminous room with high ceilings and a glass wall that overlooked on the ocean of Liberio. The furniture and decors were all in muted shades of beige and gold, various plants and vases full of colorful flowers decorated the room. It was surely a dreamy place to live in.

“Take a seat, make yourselves at home,” He then turned to the maid who was dusting the surfaces, “Margaret, bring some cookies for our guests.”

“Yes, sir.” She said, leaving the three alone.

Armin and Mikasa did as they were told, and took their seats on the sofa. It looked so expensive they were almost afraid to sit on it, like it might break.

“This is your lucky day, kids. I happen to be free today, if you had come yesterday or tomorrow you wouldn’t have found me at home.” He said, while he was looking for something in one of the drawers.

“Mister Zeke, thank you for receiving us so warmly,” Armin began, a little unsure, “Even though we did break and enter… We just didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

“This is very important to us.” Mikasa added.

“I know, I know! I was a kid too.” He took a sharpie and some printed picture of himself in his baseball attire, then he went to sit on the other sofa in front of them.

“So kids, what are your names?”

“I’m Mikasa, and he’s Armin.”

“Mikasa with a K or a C?” 

The girl had the temptation to roll her eyes and start calling him names. Was he really so conceited to think they would go so far just for an autograph? Armin, who was able to read her mind like an open book, shared the same frustration as her, but he couldn’t blame Zeke for thinking that. What other reason could two high schoolers have, to break into the house of a famous baseball player? 

“We didn’t come here for us,” The little blonde explained, “We came for our close friend, Eren Jäger.”

“Oh, so your friend it’s the groupie.”

“If you will listen to us, we’d want to share his story with you…” Armin said.

“I’m all ears, kids.” Zeke said, leaning back comfortably. He was in for a story, and that was exactly what they were going to give him.

“You see… he lost his parents six years ago.”

“Oh… I’m really sorry about that.”

“He was put in a group home at first, but let’s just say that… his caretaker didn’t take care of him as they should have… He then found another accommodation, but now he’s risking to be taken into the system again and he’s being severely depressed…”

He did it. He recounted Eren’s whole story. Well, a part of it anyway. Still, the easiest part of the dialogue was done. But know, how was he supposed to carry it on? How was he supposed to explain to Zeke, who had no memories of their previous life, that Eren was his half-brother?

Armin had to admit, there was a part of him that had hoped with all of his might that Zeke was among the ones to retain his memories of their past life. That would have made his job so much easier. Perhaps, he had been nice to them because he remembered? But nothing else seemed to indicate that. Not even the mention of Eren’s name had raised any particular reaction from Zeke. It was just a name to him, like any other.

Hearing Eren’s story though, made Zeke’s eyes become teary. Mikasa and Armin didn’t remember him to be such a softie. But truth be told, they never really knew him that well.

“I see... You’re friend has been really through a lot. I can’t even imagine…” He said, drying the tears stuck in the corner of his eyes.

“I get countless letters every day from fans. A lot of them have stories just like his. I wish I could help them all, but as you may very well understand, I cannot.”

Armin and Mikasa shot one another worried looks.

“But if I can do anything for your friend, I’ll be glad to do it.”

They both became bright eyed with hope.

“Really, Mister Zeke?!” Armin’s smile went from ear to ear.

“Yes. That was so sweet of you guys, to come all the way here for your friend. If you give me his address, I’ll make him have free tickets for my next game. And of course I’ll meet him afterwards.”

Mikasa wanted to take her hair out from the frustration. Did he really still think they were groupies?

“No, you don’t understand. We’re not here because we want him to meet his hero, he doesn’t even watch baseball. We’re here to find his family.” She said.

Zeke had a confused expression on his face. Understandably, if Armin may add.

“That’s… very sweet, and I wish I could help, but I don’t see how?”

“The things is, we… We believe you might be his older brother.” The little blonde explained.

After a few second of looking at the two with a completely frozen expression, Zeke burst out laughing. 

“What? Are you kids out of your minds?”

“Mister Zeke, if you could just listen to us for a second, I swear we don’t have ill intentions.” Armin pleaded, but Zeke seemed to have made another opinion of the situation.

“Listen, if you’re trying to get some money out of me-”

“We don’t want your stupid money!” Mikasa yelled, “We just want Eren to have a family!”

“And like I said, I wish I could help, but I can’t be his older brother, c’mon that’s ridiculous. I think it’s time to go back home, kids.”

Mikasa clenched her first, shooting up from her seat, “No, you dumb ass monkey, we didn’t come here all the way from Paradis just to get sent back like that! You’re gonna sit the fuck down, and you’re going to listen to us! Understood?!”

Mikasa was so authoritarian while she looked down on him, Zeke got intimidated. He was embarrassed to admit that, but that girl really did scare him. He sat back down, silently, Armin could’ve sworn he also heard him gulp.

“Armin, give me the photo.”

The boy took out of his bag the framed picture of Grisha Jäger and handed it to Mikasa, who handed it to Zeke. 

“Look, this is his father, you and he are almost identical!”

Zeke took the photo in his hands and started examining it, pensive, while stroking his beard.

“I can see a resemblance, but to go as far as saying he’s my father…”

“You have the same eyes. The same green eyes of Eren, the eyes of the Jägers!”

Zeke took one last glance at the photo, then he laid it on the table. He leaned back in his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Me and your friend having both green eyes doesn’t prove anything. Sure they’re rarer than blue, amber or brown but there are thousands of people with green eyes in the world.”

“We can easily settle this with a DNA test,” Armin proposed, “It won’t cost you anything, right?”

“Do you kids realize this is ridiculous?” Zeke’s patience was wearing thin. 

“Mister Zeke, I know this situation is absurd, but please, this is the only hope our friends has! Just give us a sample of your DNA, if the test turns out positive, you gain a brother, if it turns out negative, you haven’t lost anything. Please…!” Armin pleaded but Zeke wasn’t having any of it.

“I have listened to enough nonsense for today, kids. Go home.”

Mikasa was appalled. He had been so friendly and warm until then, until he believed they were his admirers, but know he was revealing himself for who he really was.

“How can you be so heartless?!” She yelled.

“Please! He’s your baby brother, and he needs you! Don’t you want to save him?!” Armin pleaded once again, desperately, but Zeke had a face and a heart suddenly turned to stone.

“Security.” He called.

Magath, who was waiting patiently outside the door, didn’t hesitate to storm in and drag the two high schoolers away.

“You stupid ass monkey! You would’ve made a shitty brother anyway!” Mikasa shouted at him in rage, as he and Armin were being harshly taken out of the room. At least, she had the satisfaction of insulting him, of speaking her mind before being thrown out.

From the hall, a confused Dina Fritz witnessed the two of them being rudely escorted out of her and her son’s house.

“Who were those two kids, Zeke?” She asked, dumbfounded. 

“Some deluded fans, they somehow managed to break in. I haven’t called the police because they were just kids, but we need to do something to reinforce security, mom.” 

But his mother wasn’t paying attention to him. Her eyes were fixed on something she had seen on the table.

“Mom?”

Dina slowly took the framed picture with both her hands, looking at the person it portrayed with an expression Zeke couldn’t quite place.

“Zeke, where did you find this picture?” She asked, with a forlorn and nostalgic look in her eyes.

*

“You were right, Armin. Zeke wasn’t the best of brothers, and he will never be.” Mikasa said, as the two best friends walked aimlessly for the streets of Liberio.

“Mikasa… I wish I was wrong. We came all the way here for nothing… what is Eren supposed to do now? This was his only hope…”

Mikasa put a hand on Armin’s shoulder.

“We’ll help Eren another way. Even if I have to go and search for a new sugar mommy for him myself.”

Armin stared at her with his mouth slightly agape. But he was weirdly amused, “Never in a million years I would’ve thought I’d heard you say something like that.”

Mikasa just shrugged, “Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I think now I understand how Eren felt…" She said, poignant.

Armin couldn’t quite understand whether she was talking about now or the past. She probably meant of when Eren decided to accept Yelena’s offer, to put food on the table. But it could’ve also been interpreted another way; she could’ve meant what Eren felt when he had to leave them to carry out his plan on his own. Armin knew he would never experience the terrible loneliness he might’ve felt in those moments.

But the current life didn’t spare him from suffering either. And Mikasa still didn’t know the terrible things he had gone through in this life. She didn’t know his aunt was out of the picture. She didn’t know about Erwin.

So, whatever Mikasa meant, Armin wasn’t sure he wanted to know. 

While searching for his phone in his bag, Armin realized with horror he had lost something.

“Oh no, no no no no, no!”

“What’s wrong, Armin?”

“The photo! I left it there!”

“Damn it… I don’t think they’re going to let us in that house again.” Mikasa said, with her hands on her hips.

“Perhaps we should wait a little bit? To see if they come to bring it back to us?”

“No, I think it’s useless. And I don’t think that heartless monkey cares.”

“How could I have been so careless?!” Armin reproached himself, with his hands in his hair.

“It’s just a photo, Armin. I’m sure Eren had other copies of it.”

The blond surely hoped so. But when Eren gave it to him, he seems to be really fond of it. Like he was found of every picture of his parents. 

Armin dreaded the moment when they would set foot back on Paradis.

*

Armin was taking some things from his locker, but in a distracted gesture, he knocked all of his books down on the floor.

“Goddamn it…!” He cursed under his breath as he kneeled down to pick them up. Ever since he and Mikasa had come back from Liberio, he didn’t seem to get anything right. He had failed. He had failed Eren so bad, he didn’t even know how he was supposed to face his friend again.

Familiar honey colored hands started helping him pick up his books.

“Hey, everything alright?” Eren said, with a smile on his pale face. Armin was supposed to be the one asking that. The brunet had circles under his eyes, his lips were dry, but at least he was smiling again. He seemed to be calmer, maybe not happy, but lately he seemed to be doing a little better. Armin wanted to believe the reason behind that was their talk, but he wasn’t sure he should’ve taken the credits.

“I’m okay Eren, thank you.” He said, as they both put the books backs in Armin’s locker. 

“So, how did the trip to Marley go?”

Armin froze. Then he remembered Eren didn’t know why they actually went there and relaxed a little.

“It was fun. Short but fun.” He lied, and he was surprised at himself for how easily that lie came to him.

“I’m glad you guys had fun.” Eren said, sincerity in his voice, which shattered Armin’s heart in a million pieces.

“Armin, I wanted to ask you…” the brunet became suddenly shy, his pale cheeks finally getting a little color, “Did you find out anything…? About, that thing we talked about?”

Eren had such a timid, hopeful smile. His eyes were brimming with expectation, and Armin’s heart sank, knowing that he was going to shatter his hopes completely.

“Eren… I’m so sorry. My research was fruitless.”

“Oh… It’s okay. It’s not like I had many hopes to begin with.” He lied, not to make Armin feel too bad, but it made the blond feel even worse. 

“Can you give me back the photo of my dad?” 

Armin didn’t think he could feel more of a piece of shit that he already felt. How was he supposed to tell him that he lost it? How? He was never going to be able to face him again!

“I… I… lost it. Eren, I’m so, so sorry!”

Eren’s eyes filled up with tears. He bit down on his lips, trying so hard to keep them in, “Are… Are you sure?”

“I’m really, really sorry!”

“It’s okay… I mean it wasn’t your fault.” Eren said, with resignation in his eyes. That surely wasn’t the reaction Armin had expected from him. In other circumstances, he was sure Eren would’ve gotten mad, he would’ve started yelling at him, maybe even calling him names that weren’t very much flattering.

The blond would’ve preferred that, to the void and hopelessness he was seeing in his friend’s eyes.

“Eren, I really cannot begin to express how sorry I am…”

“Really, it’s okay, Armin,” He reassured him, his voice feeble, “I have many other pictures of my parents.”

Armin didn’t feel reassured at all.

*

Like every year, the school held a dance in the middle of May, to celebrate the heart of spring. Since the awaited day was getting closer, the dance had become the only topic the girls talked about. That day at lunch break, they took a table separated from the boys, so they could talk freely about dresses, hair and make-up without the boys bothering them and telling them how boring they were.

Connie, who had his cheek rested on his hand, took a deep sigh.

“What’s wrong, man?” Jean asked, putting an arm around his friend.

“We need to wear a suit for the dance. Those things are really expensive, I don’t think my family can afford it right now…” He said with a disillusioned look in his eyes. It wasn’t just the girls, even if the boys didn’t talk about it, they were all looking forward to the dance. 

“I can give you one of mines,” Eren proposed, “I mean, there won’t be any other occasion for me to wear them anymore.”

Connie looked at him with his eyes wide open, “For real?”

“Yeah. What do you guys say you come at my house after school? I have a lot of stuff I don’t need anymore. Perfumes, ties, cufflinks… all things you guys need for the dance.”

Jean ruffled the brunet’s hair, “Eren, you are a life saver!”

“And a bank saver!” Connie added, giving him a quick hug.

“So we can come to your place right after school?” Armin asked.

“I have to do my home-works first. Marco, you’ll come too, right?”

“I’m sorry honey, I have to run some errands for my mom today. You guys have fun,” Then, the boy leaned in to whisper something in the brunet’s ear. The latter giggled.

“What are you guys whispering about?” Connie asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Knowing them, surely something sickly sweet…” Jean gave him his best guess, which wasn’t far at all from the truth. In response, Eren stuck his tongue out at him.

*

“Armin!”

The blond was the first to knock on Eren’s door that afternoon. The brunet welcomed him with a smile and a hug. He really seemed to be doing a lot better, even if he still wasn’t eating as much as he should have.

“Hey, Eren. Am I the first?”

“Yep. Come in, I baked cookies.” He said, enthusiastically. Armin didn’t understand when he found the time to bake cookies when he said he needed to do his home-works, but he didn’t question it as they started eating them together.

“Eren, I know I’ve already told you a million times, but… I’m really sorry for losing your photo…”

Eren almost gave in the temptation of rolling his eyes at him. Instead, he patted the blonde on the back.

“I already told you it’s okay, Armin. Don’t think about that anymore, okay? I have a lot of photos of him. I liked that one the best because it was taken the day he became doctor… I wanted to become doctor too, so that picture always gave me the motivation to go forward…”

“You _ wanted _ to become doctor?”

“Yeah… I’m not really sure anymore…”

“It’s okay Eren, you’re still sixteen. You have a lot of time to think about what you want to be.”

For a few seconds, they ate in silence, then Armin decided to address something he had been thinking about ever since he and Mikasa came back from Marley.

“Eren, I was thinking… maybe you should try to contact your aunt? Maybe she can make her husband change her mind about taking your custody.”

Eren’s jaw clenched, “Her husband was a piece of shit. I hope she leaves his ass, but not for me, for herself.”

“I understand… but if she does leave him, then nothing can stop you for going to live with her, right?” It was the only other option Eren had, now that they knew they couldn’t count on Zeke.

“Let’s not talk about these things, okay Armin?”

Armin wasn’t expecting him to dismiss the subject like that. But the boy looked so tired and poignant, he really couldn’t bring himself to push the matter any further.

“Yeah, sorry…”

There were a few instants of heavy silence between the two, then someone knocked on the door.

“They must be Jean and Connie.” 

Armin felt the relief Eren was feeling when he went to open the door, finally lifting the tension that was created between them. On his part, he felt partially relieved too, but he couldn’t really say that he was happy about it. It was something that Eren needed to address sooner or later, he just couldn’t keep living like that, like a fugitive, forced to give into vile threats.

But how was he supposed to make him see that? 

*

The doors of Eren’s wardrobe were spread open, for the boys to easily see its contents. Connie was currently standing in front of Eren’s mirror, with one of the suits he had previously chosen. It was a bit large on him, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

“It just needs a few retouched on the sleeves and the length, otherwise this is really perfect. It looks so expensive… Well, I guess it was.”

“This color looks good on you. It compliments your skin tone.” Eren said, and Connie snorted.

“Wow, that sounds really gay, man.”

“Yeah Connie, I am gay if you haven’t noticed.”

They all started laughing. 

Jean had his eyes set on cravat of a beautiful silver color that was in Eren’s wardrobe. He stroked the fabric, finding it to be surprisingly soft and pleasant to the touch.

“Wow, is this like… real silk? So soft…”

“It is. And it’s also yours if you want it.” Eren said.

“Really? Thanks, man!” Jean felt like a kid on Christmas day. His family wasn’t exactly indigent, but they surely never had enough money to spent on such unnecessary and expensive things. 

“You’re welcome. So Connie, have you chosen this one?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I even need to try the other ones. This one is just perfect. Eren, I really don’t know how to thank you.” He said, a bit timidly.

“It’s really no problem, man.” Eren was more than happy to help out his friends, and these gifts didn’t cost him anything. Well, except being a toy for Yelena back then, but now it didn’t really matter anymore.

*

Once Connie had changed back into his regular clothes, they all moved to the living room, where Eren had placed on the table all the cufflinks and ties he had accumulated during the previous year.

“I can’t decide between these two pairs…” Jean said, having in each hand a pair of cufflinks, one simple pair in white gold, and the other of yellow gold, in the shape of a tiger. 

“Dude, just take them both.”

“Really?”

“I already told you guys, I don’t really need this stuff. You can take everything you want.”

“But Eren, what are you going to wear at the dance if we take everything?” Connie asked.

“I’ve already prepared my stuff for the dance.”

Armin wondered if that’s what he meant when he said he needed to do his home-works.

When they were done with the cufflinks and the ties, Eren went to the bathroom to go fetch his perfumes. He came back with his arms fully loaded, and the guys went to help him before he dropped any bottle.

“As you can see, there’s a lot of choice here.”

“These must be at least a dozen!” Armin observed.

“All curtesy of Yelena. She loved shopping for these.”

“I can tell,” Jean said, picking one of them up and sniffing it, “Dude, Yelena has good taste.”

“She just paid for them, I’m the one who chose them.” Eren specified.

“Wow, imagine being so hot that a rich chick will buy you anything,” Connie said, “We peasants certainly can’t relate.”

“Speak for yourself!” Jean protested, “I’m plenty hot.”

“Jean, I think we’d all be lying to ourselves if we denied that Eren’s the one with the best looks among all of us.” Armin said, smiling maliciously.

“Guys, stop…” Eren had finally gotten some color on his cheeks. So they had decided to start playing a game called _ let’s see who can make Eren blush harder _.

“I’ll admit you’re hot. No homo though.” Jean said, making Eren’s cheeks go from a delicate peach to hot pink, “But I’m hot too.”

“Keep dreaming, Jeanny boy. I hate to break it to you, but Eren will be crowned King at the dance this year.”

“Guys…” Eren’s face was now poppy red.

“Yep, the whole school has the hots for him. Especially the girls, who haven’t seemed to give up and still somehow hope he’s bi.”

“Armin…!?” He exclaimed, the information clearly coming new to him.

“I’ve seen people in the halls bow down at the magnificence of that Jäger booty.” Connie said.

“And those eyes? Dude, they would put emeralds to shame.” Jean decided to give him the finishing blow. Eren’s face was now so red, you could basically break two eggs and cook them on his forehead.

“Okay, I think I also have a few spare watches, let me look for them real quick…” He said, jogging to the other room to subtract himself from all those embarrassing flatters.

The others started giggling and chuckling.

“Maybe we went too far.” Connie said, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy their little game.

“He was dying of embarrassment, the poor thing.” Jean commented. He surely had no problems in admitting he had enjoying every second of it.

“It’s not like we said anything that wasn’t true.” Armin said.

*

When Eren came back, he had three elegant boxes with him, which he placed on the table.

“There’s not much choice here. Just one for each of you.”

“Whoa, these must cost more than my house!” Jean commented, as they opened the boxed.

Eren giggled, rolling his eyes, “They’re expensive, but not that much.”

Jean and Connie were both discussing on which one would fit their respective suit better, all the while Armin remained in an almost religious silence. The boy looked to be pensive, and Eren noticed it.

“Which one do you like, Armin?” He asked.

“Eren… are you sure you want to give all this stuff to us? These are expensive, if you sold them, maybe you could make a lot of money. And you need them, you know you do.”

Armin’s speech had resonated with both Jean and Connie, who turned quiet and put the watches back in their boxes.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, guys. These things lose value once they’re used, I wouldn’t make much difference if I sold them. And I’d rather give them to you guys anyway…”

“Eren, are you sure?” Jean said, his eyebrows furrowed in worry, “Armin’s right, those money may be useful in the future.”

Eren looked down, becoming bashful all of a sudden.

“I said it’s okay… I’ve already found another solution… maybe…”

“Really? What?” Armin asked, hopeful.

“A little part-time job. I won’t make nearly as much as what Yelena gave me, but if you guys help me, I might do just fine.”

“Eren, that’s wonderful news!” Armin said, wanting to believe him. But he knew his friend well enough to know he was lying. Just, what did Eren have in his mind this time? Armin couldn’t shake the feeling that he should know, he should know what Eren was thinking. Bu he couldn’t quite put the pieces of the puzzle together yet.

He just hoped that when he did, it wouldn’t be too late.

*

It was almost dark outside once they were done. Since dinner time was almost upon them, the boys decided to call it a day. It didn’t seem right to them to leave Eren alone after that amazing afternoon they had had together, but their parents were not going to be so understanding. 

“Sorry we can’t stay until your aunt comes back...” Connie said.

“Don’t worry guys. My aunt won’t come back until late tonight,” He said, looking at anyone but Armin, who was the only one who knew his secret, “But Marco should come any minute.”

“We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, then.” The blond said, and after exchanging their good nights, the three boys left. 

Eren was left alone once again. The brunet looked at the clock; Marco was going to come in less than an hour. He had promised him he would come for dinner and prepare him his favorite meal, and Eren was very much looking forward to that. But first, there was something he needed to do.

Eren took a deep breath, sitting down at his desk to finish his _ home-works _ before his boyfriend arrived. He first glanced at the clock, then on the already enveloped letter on his desk. 

Another deep breath.

Then, with resolve in his heart, he took the pencil again and started writing his second letter.

“My dear Marco…”


	10. Night of Dances and Blood

It was the night of the school dance. Boy and the girls were all dressed up, excited for the night that was supposed to be the night of their lives.

Except for Eren and Marco, all the gang was already there. As always, Ymir and Historia were by themselves, a little isolated from the rest of them, while the others, especially Sasha, were enjoying the buffet.

“Who did you guys vote for King?” Jean asked, sipping on his alcohol free drink. It went unsaid that they all voted Historia for Queen.

“Eren.”

“Eren.”

“Eren.”

Connie, Sasha and Armin all said the same thing in a row. The only one left was Mikasa, who almost rolled her eyes when she saw Jean so full of hopes and dreams, that she was soon going to break without any remorse.

“Obviously, I voted for Eren.”

“Seriously? No one voted for me?”

“Who did you vote for?” Sasha asked. Jean gritted his teeth, looking away flustered. Then, while scratching the back of his neck, he gave his sincere answer.

“… Eren.”

They all started laughing loudly as the boy’s cheeks became redder with every passing second.

*

Eren and Marco had just arrived at the party and barely had the time to greet their friends when Professor Zoe went on the stage to make an announcement.

“Attention, students. It is time to announce this year’s King and Queen of the annual dance. And the title of Queen goes to…”

The drums started rolling.

“Historia Reiss!”

It didn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the crowd still cheered and clapped their hands. The girl couldn’t say she was especially flattered, it seemed like she had to resign to the fact she will always be a Queen, no matter how many times she got reincarnated. Being a Queen in this life though, was much more fun than it used to be back then. Reluctantly, she let go of her girlfriend’s hand and walked on the stage.

“And the title of King goes to…”

Another roll of drums.

“Eren Jäger!” 

Another round of cheers.

“W-What…?” The boy was totally flabbergasted, standing there with his mouth agape and his eyes as wide as the ones of a lost doe.

“C’mon, don’t be shy!” The Professor Hanji Zoe encouraged him to come on stage, and so did all of his friends. His first instinct, was to hide behind his boyfriend like a scared child hiding behind his mother, but he ultimately walked on the stage.

Historia gave a long, well-articulated speech. Eren was always fascinated by her savoir faire, she just had something so regal to her. Unlike himself, who was so shy and awkward. When the time came for his own speech, he just thanked all the people who voted him, and added little more than that. His bashfulness was so endearing to everyone, they clapped and cheered even harder than they had done with Historia. Eren felt like he didn’t deserve that. He felt like he had stolen from Historia, something that was rightfully hers.

“That was an awesome speech,” Eren whispered in Historia’s ear, “You must’ve been a real Queen in a previous life.”

Historia was thunderstruck. Oh, if only he knew how right he was. She had to hide her discomfort and blues behind a little laugh and a smile, hoping her eyes wouldn’t betray the truth.

The crowd started clapping as they shouted, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Eren rolled his eyes, while Historia giggled. The brunet searched for his boyfriend in the crowd, smiling to him apologetically when he found him. But Marco didn’t seem to be bothered by the crowd, he just shrugged while smiling at Eren. Ymir on the other hand, was pissed and didn’t care about hiding it. The brunette had her arms crossed, tapping her foot, her freckled face contrite. If her eyes could shoot fire, she would’ve incinerated everyone long ago.

They had recently learned that the whole school wanted Historia and Eren to be together, something they apparently called  _ shipping _ . To the two, who were close friends, the idea sounded ridiculous. They both had partners they loved intensely, and were more than happy with them. They weren’t even discreet lovers with their respective partners, they used to flaunt their relationships, walking hand in hand with Marco and Ymir in the halls and kissing them in front of everyone without any inhibition.

And yet, so many people at their school still liked the idea of the two of them together, even if their wishes had no chances of becoming true.

But no one could stop people from dreaming, and enjoying their daydreams.

Historia got on her toes and kissed Eren on his cheek, to the disappointment of the people. Then, she whispered in his ear, “Let’s show them who our real lovers are.”

Eren smiled at her widely, as he nodded with decision. They looked into each other’s eyes, knowing perfectly what the other was thinking.

Together, they both gestured for Marco and Ymir to come on the stage, all the while the crowd was still chanting  _ Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! _

The people wanted a kiss, and a kiss was what their King and Queen were going to give them. Once the freckled ones had taken place next to their respective partners, Eren and Historia started kissing them with passion. 

The crowd didn’t exactly start booing or protesting, but their applause was more out of politeness rather than excitement. There were however a few people who screamed, “No, no!” 

Ymir sourly turned to the crowd, “What, you wanted a kiss, didn’t you?”

“Between Eren and Historia!” Someone dared to say. 

Ymir flipped them off, going back to kissing her Queen. The crowd cheered, enjoying the show. A lot could be said about Ymir but not that the girl wasn’t entertaining.

Next, both couples walked off the stage and to the middle of the dance floor, where they took the first dance of the night. 

Eren had his arms around Marco’s neck, while the latter had his hands on the shorter boy’s hips. He loved his scent of orange and lavender, with a subtle touch of jasmine. Sweet and strong, comforting and protective. Eren knew that was what angels in heaven must have smelled like.

“I wish we could stay in this moment forever…” He whispered in Marco’s ear. 

“We’ll have many moments like this one… I promise my love.” Marco said, softly. Eren rested his cheek on the taller boy’s shoulder, to hide his bloodshot eyes.

*

Eren had taken a pause from the dance floor to go to the bathroom. He washed his face, that lately had been anything but oily, but the lights of the stage and the dances of that night had made his skin shiny. His hair too was a mess, so he went to the boy’s locker room to get his hair comb.

As he was searching through his locker, a strong woody, musky scent filled the air and big hands encircled around his waist. Lips that he knew started placing kisses on his neck, and his whole body went stiff. Lips that he knew, but that he didn’t love.

“Get away from me!” He demanded as he pushed the tall, blond man away. Or at least he tried. Had he been as strong as he was a few months prior, Erwin would’ve stumbled and fell, but he barely budged him.

“Relax, nobody’s going to see us.”

“Let’s see how many people come in here if I start screaming.” He threatened, his voice gravelly.

The man snickered in Eren’s ear, “You wouldn’t dare doing that. Come into my office in ten minutes.”

As he said that, he wasn’t taking his hands off of Eren, and the latter felt like dying with every passing second.

“Marco’s waiting for me. He might come in here any second looking for me.” He warned him, with a certain fragility in his voice. He was like a kitten, lost and cold on the side of the road, hoping someone would come to take him somewhere safe and warm. 

“I gave him something to do to keep him busy,” Finally, he let go of Eren. “I’ll be waiting in my office.”

When the devil was gone, the brunet finally started breathing again. He leaned his back against his locker, with a hand in his hair, trying to even out his breath. Marco’s locker was right next to his. With a shaking hand, he reached in the inside of his pocket, where he was keeping the letter he had wrote him a few days earlier.

He slipped the envelope into the locker, then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cold metal.

“Please, forgive me…”

From his own locker, he took a box of new razor blades he had bought that morning before school. With the heaviest decision he had ever made in his heart, he walked out of the school. He felt guilty for the relief he felt, knowing where he was going and what he was going to do. As he was on the doorsill of the school’s entrance, he turned around, to have one last look at those halls.

After all, he had made a lot of wonderful memories there. He had met so many wonderful people. His best friends. He just hoped they would find it in themselves to forgive him.

Historia. Her liveliness always used to put him in a good mood. Even if lately not even her could help.

Jean. That conceited prick who was the most loyal friend one could ask for.

Sasha. Her sincerity and naivete could touch the hardest of hearts.

Armin. A shy, smart guy with a heart of gold.

Connie. A genuine guy who valued the most the only two things that mattered in life: friends and family.

Mikasa. A girl who looked so stoic and unapproachable on the outside, but she was the most loving and caring girl he had ever met.

Levi was an honorable mention. Now that was someone who really cared about the well-being of the students. A lot of teachers said they did, when in truth they couldn’t care less. But that guy, he really did. He had comforted Eren in more than one occasion, without asking questions, without wanting anything in return. Eren had a fond memory of him. 

And finally, Marco. His lover. His stars, his sun and his moon, the boy who had been everything to him ever since his own family died. He was his angel. He had taken care of him like no one else ever did. And now, Eren was finally letting him free of that burden.

He hoped they would all have fond memories of him like he himself had of them. 

*

“Thank you for helping me out, guys.” Marco said, as he and the other boys entered the locker room. Professor Smith had asked him to help the staff refill the buffet. The joys of being one of the honor students. Thankfully, Armin, Jean and Connie were there to help him out, so they finished sooner. Too bad the jerk had another couple of jobs to give him, after he was done with that.

“Man, the Professor was such a dick for giving you work the night of the dance!” Connie remarked.

“Yeah, I guess Eren was right when he said he’s a fucking asshole.” Jean said, as he looked into the mirror and retouched his hair.

Marco was perplexed, “Eren said that?”

“He did. Remember, that day in class? When he called him an asshole?”

“Oh, you mean that? He was just nervous because… of his problems at home. I don’t think it was for the Professor, he could’ve taken his rage out at anyone that day.”

It was a logical explanation. After all, he had snapped at Mikasa too. And Marco was sure Eren would’ve told him if the Professor did something to upset him. But Jean didn’t seem to agree.

“No, it’s not like that. When I went to talk to him, he really seemed to be pissed at him.”

Marco was even more perplexed, worries and doubts arousing in him.

“Really? He never told me anything about this… He used to respect him like a mentor.”

“Eren didn’t seem to want to talk about it that day, so I didn’t pry. But I’m sure something must’ve happened.”

Marco never thought about it until now, but when he and Eren first met, the brunet used to talk about the Professor non-stop. But lately, he barely ever mentioned him. Now that he was trying to recall, he realized that in fact, Eren had stopped talking about Erwin for a while. Ever since… that day. When he had been so depressed to even go out of his home.

“But… why? If something happened between the Professor and him, why did he never tell me?”

“Professor Smith is the owner of Eren’s apartment, right? Maybe it’s something regarding that?” Connie suggested.

“If it was something like that, I’m sure he would’ve told me…”

Armin loosened his tie, sweat running down his neck and spine. He felt like the air was being taken out of his lungs every time that devil was mentioned.

“Is everything alright, Armin?” Connie asked him.

“Y-Yeah, it’s just… r-really hot in here…” He tried to lie, but the others could read him like an open book. Especially Marco.

“Did Eren… perhaps tell you something about this?” He asked, his sad eyes full of hopes.

Damn it. Why did he have to be so damn predictable? Something did happen. And Armin was the only one who knew about it. Was he supposed to tell Marco and the others, joining the line of people who had shattered Eren’s trust? But Marco looked so worried, how could he just stand back and remain silent?

Marco put his hands on the blonde’s shoulders, “Armin, if you know something about this, please tell me.” 

It was a matter of choosing between Eren and Marco. And he was sorry for the latter, but he was absolutely going to choose Eren.

“Speaking of Eren, has anyone seen him?” Armin tried to diverge the attention, and by the look of everyone, he had succeeded.

“Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen him since he went to the bathroom.” Jean observed.

Marco headed for the exit, “I’ll go check out if he’s there.”

Armin could sigh in relief, even if just internally. His eyes fell on the lockers, and he saw something sticking out of Marco’s. It looked like the corner of a paper.

“Wait Marco, someone left a note in your locker.”

The boy turned around, “A note?”

He opened his locker and something fell on the ground. It was indeed a piece of paper, a letter. Marco picked it up, checking the back and front of it.

“It’s from Eren…”

They all eyed each other. Why would Eren leave Marco a letter in a moment like that? Why didn’t he just talk to him if he had something to say? They were dancing together not even an hour ago. That letter couldn’t be an omen of anything good.

They were all tense as Marco opened it and started reading it silently. The first few lines Marco read, would have made him smile sheepishly in any other circumstances, but the more he read, the more his heart sank. And there was an exact moment, when the others could see his eyes betraying so much pain, fear and panic, that it was like he had been stabbed.

He stormed out of the room, yelling, “We need to find Eren! Now, right now!”

“Marco, what’s going on?!” Armin asked as they all followed him outside.

“Connie, go look in the bathroom, Armin, go ask the others if they’ve seen him, Jean, you need to bring me to Eren’s home right now!”

Without any question, they all obeyed Marco’s orders.

“Marco, what does that letter say?!” Jean asked him as they were running through the halls.

“I’ll explain later, get a move on!”

*

“Can’t you go faster?!” 

“Not if we want to live.” Jean was desperate to find Eren too, but he was already exceeding the speed limit and they wouldn’t be of much help to Eren if they ended up dead.

Jean still couldn’t believe Eren’s intentions. Marco had read him his letter in the car, and it gave him chills down his spine. It had started like a normal love letter, that however ended up in tragedy. He hadn’t said directly that he wanted to kill himself, but he had written that what he was about to do next was his decision and his alone. He asked Marco to forgive him, and to remember him as he truly was.

What else could he mean, if not that he was about to commit suicide? The question still bothering Jean was only one. What reason would he have to do something like that? Sure, his situation at home was rough, but they had all been close to him this time. Jean was sure they had done things good enough this time. They had offered him all the help they could, and Eren even seemed to be doing better lately…

But of course.

Suicidal people always seem to do better before they commit the act.

Marco took off his jacket, loosening his tie. He was tapping his foot so fast he could’ve opened a wall in the car’s floor.

“Marco, calm down. We’re going to find him.” The boy wasn’t sure whether he was trying to reassure his friend or himself.”

“Jean, you’ve known him longer than me. Be honest now. Do you think he’s capable of hurting himself?” He asked, every single word coming out of his mouth hurting him more and more. But he still went on and asked because he needed to know.

Jean took his eyes off the road just for one second, to look into his friend’s scared eyes. Marco had never wanted the others to fill him in on what happened after Trost. He said he knew all he needed to from history books. But books report facts, not how people feel. Not how people are. 

And Marco wasn’t there. He wasn’t there to see how he hurt himself to turn into a titan. He didn’t live long enough to see him begging to die in that cave. And Jean was almost glad he wasn’t there to see how it all ended.

“He… he is.”

Marco buried his face in his hands, “Oh god…!”

“We might still be in time, he’s not been gone for long!”

“It’s been more than an hour! T-That’s enough time to…! Oh god…!”

“Look, maybe he’s not trying to do something stupid, maybe he’s just having a crisis and he’s somewhere crying.”

After all, Eren had had moments like that too when he was the same age he currently is. But he always brought himself back on his feet. He hoped to hell this was the same case.

“I sure hope it’s like you say, Jean.”

*

When they arrived to Eren’s apartment, Marco took out his keys but his hand was shaking. Jean took them and opened the door in his place, and the two stormed into the apartment.

“Eren! Eren!” They both started yelling as they separated to search the apartment. Jean went to search in the kitchen while Marco went to the bathroom. When he opened the door, the most sorrowful display showed right before his eyes.

Eren was sitting in his bathtub wearing old clothes, with his eyes closed and the water turned crimson. Marco bolted to his side, grabbing him from under his arms to try and pick him up but the water had overflowed and wetted the floor, which made it slippery and he just couldn’t get a good foothold to pick him up.

“Jean get in here! Quick!” He yelled, and the other boy raced to the bathroom. He stopped for a second when he saw that bloody display that he had somewhat expected, but he immediately snapped out of it to rush to his friend’s aid. He grabbed Eren from the lower part of his body, and the two managed to safely take him out of the bathtub, bringing him to his bedroom.

“For fuck’s sake, Eren! What the fuck have you done!” Jean vented as they laid him on the bed. Marco took his buttoned shirt off and ripped it with his teeth, using the sleeves as a tourniquet. With the rest of the cloth, they dabbed the cuts on Eren’s arms. A gurgle came out of the brunet’s mouth, as he opened his heavy eyelids.

“…Marco.”

A relieved smile appeared on his freckled face as two tears rolled down his cheek.

“Eren…! Honey, I’m here! I’m here, baby…!” He said softly, brushing his stringy hair out of his cyanotic face.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay…!”

“You’ll be okay buddy, the ambulance is coming!” Jean put a hand on the brunet’s shoulder, he too had started crying without even realizing it.

“…No…no…” Eren moved his head to the side and started closing his eyes. Jean took his face into his hands, giving his cheek a little slap to bring him back to them.

“Eren, stay with us, okay? Keep talking!”

The brunet heaved through his lungs, “Stupid… horse face…”

Jean never thought he’d be this glad of being insulted. Both couldn’t help but laugh softly at that. If he still had the strength to joke around, it gave them hope he was going to make it until help arrived. Eren’s face contorted into a frown, as he squinted his eyes, moaning.

“I wanna see my mom…” He slurred. Marco kissed him on the forehead, then told him with a trembling voice, “It’s not time yet, Eren, is not time…”

The bleeding seemed to have stopped, but those minutes waiting for the ambulance were dreadful for both Marco and Jean. Eren kept saying things in his delirium that scared the both of them to death, things they couldn’t understand, like “I don’t want him to touch me anymore”, and “that devil needs to burn in hell”. 

*

Armin and the others had searched for Eren throughout all the school, without success. They had told their chemistry teacher, who together with Levi had gone great lengths to help them, and was now currently calling all the hospitals in the town, after having called the police. Currently, the whole gang was in the teacher’s staffroom, where Hanji Zoe had given the permission to rest, so they could calm down far from the commotion. But their hearts were in disarray, unable to find any peace in the uncertainty of their friend’s whereabouts. 

Then, Jean finally called.

“Jean! Please tell me you guys found him!” Armin said and they all gathered in circle around him, trying to hear the conversation.

“You’re in the hospital?!”

“Armin, put it on the speaker!” Mikasa hollered, annoyed that he didn’t do that since the beginning.

The blond did as she demanded, and so now they could all hear Jean’s voice, “Marco’s currently arguing with the nurses because they won’t let us see him.”

“But what happened? How was Eren when you found him?” The ravenette inquired, anxious.

“He was conscious, he was talking to us. I’m sure he’s gonna be fine, but these bitches won’t tell us.”

Historia got closer to the phone, “Jean, what happened to him?!”

“I’d rather not tell you on the phone.”

Mikasa took the phone from Armin’s hands, “Okay, we’re coming there right now.”

After informing Hanji and Levi on Eren’s whereabout and having promised to keep them updated, the squad all left for the hospital. Ymir was the only one beside Jean who had a car, so they all had to squeeze in it, which hadn’t been easy given Historia’s massive ball gown. 

*

When they arrived, they found Jean and Marco in the hospital’s waiting room. The latter was resting his head on the other’s shoulder, looking weary as they had never seen him. Both of them raised from their seats as they saw the others coming. They all got scared when they saw their clothes stained in blood, so Marco decided to rip the band aid off before they could even ask, “He tried to commit suicide.”

The other’s reactions were hysterical. Historia started crying, while Ymir put her arms around her. Sasha put her hands on her mouth, her legs almost giving in as tears fell down her cheeks. Armin’s eyes almost popped out of his skull as he screamed, “What?!”, Connie couldn’t refrain himself from shrieking, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Mikasa was petrified. She wasn’t able to move a muscle, or utter a single word. Her legs did give in, and Sasha ran to her aid.

“We arrived in time, guys. There’s nothing to worry about. He’s going to be fine.” Jean reassured them, while Marco went to sit on one of the waiting room chairs, letting his weight fall dead. They were lucky Eren’s method had been cutting. That had given them enough time to find him still alive. Had he hanged himself, or jumped off a building, he would’ve been dead long before someone would even notice his absence.

“What did the doctors tell you?” Armin asked.

“Not much, because we’re not family. But they did have at least the decency of telling us he’s going to make it.”

“Thank god… did you guys call his aunt already?” At Mikasa’s question, Marco and Jean eyed each other. 

“Mikasa… there is no aunt.”

Jean had learned about it that very night. When the nurses kept asking for a contact number of a relative, Marco had snapped and told them he had none. Later, he was there with him when Marco had to explain it to the police. Eren’s story was unbelievable. He didn’t blame them for not sharing his full story with them, but he wished he did. He could understand what he did a little better now.

“What do you mean there is no aunt?! What’s going on?!”

“It’s a long story, Mikasa…” Armin said, looking down.

“Armin, Eren told you about it?” Marco was dazed. It was at this point that Mikasa snapped.

“No way, you guys have been keeping another secret from me?!”

“It’s not like that, Mikasa,” Jean reassured her, “I just learned about it tonight, only Marco knew. And I guess Armin too.”

They all looked at the blond, searching for an explanation.

“He told me before we went to Liberio to find Zeke…”

“Wait… you went there for Zeke?!” Sasha asked, stupefied.

Mikasa was fuming from her ears, “THAT’s why you agreed to come?!”

Before anyone could say or ask anything else, they were interrupted by Marco’s loud wailing. He had been as strong as a rock. Ever since he got that letter, he kept his head cool. He had instructed the others on what to do, found Eren, given him first aid, all while keeping his nerves steady.

But now, everything was catching up to him. The weight of what had happened suddenly hit him, and he broke down. 

Mikasa took the seat next to him, hugging the boy after planting a kiss on his cheek. Jean went to sit on Marco’s other side, holding his hand to try to give his best friend a little comfort and courage in this harrowing time. There was a part of him back in their previous life, who was glad that Marco had died before having to see so many of their friends die. At least he was spared from that pain.

But this world was beyond cruel, and saved an even crueler destiny for him in this life: seeing his significant other in a blood-filled bathtub with his arms sliced open. And thank god his attempt wasn’t successful. Not this time at least.

“I just don’t understand… why would he do something like that? He seemed to be doing better lately.” Sasha said, while drying her tears with a tissue.

“He even told us he found a little part-time job.” Connie added, sniffing. 

What they all couldn’t see was obvious to Jean, “He lied. Obviously, this was the solution he was talking about. Suicidal people always give signals before… we just didn’t notice them.”

Armin couldn’t agree more with him, reflecting on the events of the past days with all the elements in his hands this time.

“He gave us all of his stuff… that was why. He was getting rid of his personal belongings… because he couldn’t bring them with him where he was going…! How could I have been so blind?!” Armin put his hands in his hair, frowning in realization.

“You think you’ve been blind?” Marco’s voice was completely broken, “I’m his boyfriend. I’ve been sleeping in his same bed for months, and I’ve never noticed just in how much pain he was. He was right next to me, and I never noticed.”

“We should’ve called a doctor the moment he stopped eating…” Sasha lamented.

Historia buried her face in Ymir’s chest, “I should’ve talked to him more…”

Mikasa couldn’t hear them anymore, “Stop it. All of you.”

The girl stood up, tall and strong as she had always been, not caring to hide the tears in her eyes.

“Eren went through something like this before, and we weren’t there. We weren’t there and he died! We did NOT repeat the same mistakes! We’ve been next to him. We’ve done everything in our power, and now he’s in a hospital, but he’s ALIVE.”

Her speech seemed to have instilled some optimism in her friends. Her job was done, and she went back to sit in her chair, exhaling deeply. 

“Now, what’s this story on his aunt?”

Marco was too tired to give any other explanation, he already had to tell the whole story to the police. Armin was on the edge of a nervous breakdown and looked like he could start crying any minute. So Jean guessed he was the only one left to tell the story.

It went without saying that once he was finished with it, his friends were all shocked. It was a lot to take in, just in one night.

*

Since they weren’t going to let them see Eren until the next morning, they all decided to go home, to get some rest after that hellish night. Marco was the only one who was dead set of remaining right there. Even if he couldn’t see him, he preferred sleeping close to where Eren was. He felt like going back home meant leaving him alone. Mikasa gave him a gentle squeeze on the arm.

“I’d gladly remain too, but Armin needs me right now.” 

The poor blond was shaken from the latest events. Mikasa had to be the stronger one in this situation, giving him her shoulder to cry on. He couldn’t leave him alone that night.

“Of course. Go, Mikasa. Me and Marco will stay here with Eren.” Jean said. He had decided to remain too, so Marco wouldn’t be alone.

*

Shortly after their friends left, Marco’s parents arrived at the hospital. His mom threw her arms around her son’s neck, crying and holding him as tight as possible, like he had been the one on that hospital bed.

“Baby boy! How is Eren?” She said as she pulled away, taking his face in her hands.

“He’s stable, he’s lost a lot of blood but he’ll survive. They won’t let us see him until tomorrow, though…”

“Oh, thank god he’s okay! My poor baby boy, you must’ve been so scared…” She said, hugging her son again.

“I was, mom… I was so scared I’d never see him again…!” He admitted, crying in her arms.

The sudden appearance of Marco’s parents reminded Jean that he needed to inform his folks about what happened, and tell them he was going to spent the night there.

Jean’s mother was distraught at the news of what Eren had tried to do, and later went to the hospital to bring her son clean clothes, pillows for him and Marco, and also something to eat. She told her that he was proud of him, for saving his friend and staying there, for not leaving him alone, before going back home with a heavy heart.

*

And so, Marco and Jean camped in the corridor outside of Eren’s room, given that the hospital wouldn’t give them a room. They didn’t care. They had slept in the dirt, in the forests. The floor of the hospital was nothing compared to that.

“Did you ever imagine it back then when we were trainees?” Jean asked, as they both stared at the ceiling, “That we would end up here. Together, even in another life…”

“I didn’t, for sure. But I’m glad we’re all here together.”

“Hey Marco… Are you sure you don’t want to know?”

“I told you. I want to be happy in the present. I wish you guys didn’t have to live with this burden. I know that those who survived Trost had it worse than us who perished…”

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t remember. But I don’t think I’d have such a close blond with you and the others if we didn’t remember.”

“Eren still has it with us. And he doesn’t remember.”

“Eren had enough on his mind. He didn’t need more burdens.”

“Yeah… I guess there is a limit to this world’s cruelness.”

“I sure hope there is.”

“I still have nightmares sometimes… about… when I died. I remember the fear, the hurt for the betrayal… and the pain…”

Marco shut his eyes, trying to brush the awfully memories off and think of something happy. Like his times with Eren. Jean took his hand, holding it tight.

“If it makes you feel any better, I gave Reiner a good beatdown when I found out what those assholes did.”

“Thanks, I guess…” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t feel sorry for Reiner, both of them knew he deserved it, but he couldn’t feel joy either. What he felt for those traitors, was complete indifference once the feelings of betrayal and hurt were gone.

“Do you think you could ever forgive them? Because I could not. Not even in this life. And I’m glad those assholes stayed in Marley this time.”

“They must’ve suffered too. But I don’t really care enough to forgive them. I don’t want to think about them. All I care about in this moment, is Eren.”

Jean could relate to that. He vowed to himself that it was the last time he was ever going to think about them, or even name them. Who cared about those traitors anymore? Especially when Eren was suffering and needing help.

“He’s gonna be alright, Marco. He’s strong. And we’ll be next to him.”

And with their soft chatting, they fell asleep after that awfully long night of dances and blood.


	11. Manna from Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update. I've actually had the last two chapters ready for a month, but I was quite satisfied with them so I took my time to edit them properly. I hope I did a good job and that you will like it.  
Enjoy :)

The next day, the squad arrived at the hospital early in the morning, but in vain. A lot of policemen and social workers entered and exited Eren’s hospital room all morning, and it was almost lunchtime when the nurses finally gave them the consent of seeing their friend.

Normally, they wouldn’t have let that many people enter at once. But Eren wasn’t ill, he was wounded. He also appeared to be clearly distressed from the interrogations he had suffered from both the police and the social services, even when the therapist assigned to him specifically told them to save their questions for a couple of days.

So, she thought it was a good idea for him to see his friends, to help with his mood and recovery.

“Eren!” Marco was the first to run to his bedside. He hugged him tenderly, treating him like a delicate porcelain doll that could shatter under a careless touch. He kissed him on the forehead, his lips lingering on his dry skin. When he pulled away, he stroked him gently on the cheek, but he didn’t get a single reaction from the boy. He just kept staring at his own hands, with his empty, vacant eyes.

“Hey… Are you feeling any better?” He asked, in a sweet and soft voice. Eren’s jaws clenched. His brows furrowed slightly, his hands clenching the sheets.

“They’re going to take me away. To a group home in Orvud.”

Marco’s heart sank, “No…”

But honestly, what other outcome did they expect? Eren was an orphan. An orphan who had ran away from the system for long enough. It was just a matter of time before someone found out about it. They were all devastated, but they tried to be strong to give Eren courage.

“It’s gonna be okay Eren, we’ll come visit you.” Mikasa said, touching his arm.

“Yeah, we’ll all hang out every weekend, you’ll see, nothing’s really going to change.” Jean reassured him.

“Orvud isn’t that far, after all.” Sasha added.

“It’s in fucking Sina, are you fucking kidding me…?”

“Think about this; It’s only gonna be two years,” Armin offered another perspective, “Then you can leave.”

Eren let go of a resentful titter, “To go where?”

“Anywhere you want! You’ll be free.”

The brunet raised his eyes, and one by one, he stared at each and every one of his friends, with a muted rage in his stare, “You should’ve left me to die.”

It made their blood freeze in their veins.

“Eren, you don’t really mean that…” Marco said in a brittle voice, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Have you any idea what you’ve just done? You guys have condemned me to a fate worse than death!” Eren wasn’t even screaming. He wasn’t mad, there just was a glacial coldness in his gravelly voice that scared his friends out of their skin.

It wasn’t like him.

Marco tried to take his hand, but Eren retracted it. Mikasa was shedding silent tears. Armin hanged his head low in shame. A part of Jean wanted to smack him on the head, but another part of him wanted to cry. Sasha and Connie eyed each other, both hurt and sorrowful for their friend.

Was his pain so great, so deep that he truly resented them for not letting him die? 

The atmosphere in the room was so tense and silent, one could’ve heard the noise of a needle falling on the ground.

The silence was broken by the door opening. It was one of the nurses, bringing in the tray with Eren’s lunch. She could literally feel the tension and the uneasiness radiating from every person in that room, so she left the tray on the table and left, as quickly as she could.

“Maybe you should put something in your stomach, I’m sure you’ll feel better then.” Marco told him, trying to cheer up, believing it would cheer Eren up too.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Honey you have to eat…”

“I said I’m not hungry!” He exclaimed, laying back on his side and giving his back to Marco and all of his friends.

Sasha eyed that unattractively colored stuff on the tray that they had the courage to call meal and wrinkled her nose. She whispered something to Connie, and they headed for the door. She put at hand on Mikasa’s shoulder and she was leaving, telling her in a hushed tone, “We’ll be back in an hour or so.”

They wondered whether they should’ve said bye to Eren, but the boy didn’t seem to be in the mood for being talked to. He was probably not even going to notice their absence. They hoped to be back before he did, actually.

Jean tried to reason with him, “Eren, I know what you’re going through is hard-”

“You don’t know anything. Just leave me alone.” He cut him off, coldly. Even so, Mikasa too decided to attempt talking to him.

“We just want to help you-”

“I SAID LEAVE!” The brunet yelled, covering his ears with his pillow. It was a clear sign he didn’t want to hear another word from them.

“Guys, let’s just give him space.” Jean said, placing a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder, who looked like she was about to start crying again. There was no use. The wounds were still too fresh, Eren needed time to recover. He couldn’t blame him for the harsh words he had said to them, he wasn’t in a good place mentally. And he was sure that all he needed now was a little space, to elaborate everything that had happened.

Armin, Jean, Mikasa, and even a very reluctant Marco started leaving the room. But at the last moment, Mikasa stopped right in her tracks.

“No.” She said, loud and clear, as she went to sit right next to Eren, on the other side of the bed where he was facing. The brunet was peeved, so he turned around in his bed to the other side, where he found Armin sat on the chair next to him. With a groan, he laid on his stomach and put his head under the pillow. Jean sat on the edge of the bed, near Eren’s feet, while Marco lied next to him and started rubbing his back.

“Eren, we’re here next to you. We will always be.” Armin told him. There were no words he had wanted to tell him more.

“Until they bring me into the group home and I’ll be alone again. So you might as well just leave now.” Eren’s broken, muffled voice came from under the pillow.

“We’re not leaving. Not now, not ever.” Marco assured him in a soft voice.

“Eren, you need to stand up and fight.” Jean told him, hoping to reawaken the belligerent spirit in him. The one he always had, and that had always set him apart from the crowd. 

Eren took his head out from under the pillow, angry tears glistening in his eyes.

“I fought, Jean!” He contested, “I did nothing but fighting since I was ten, and look where it brought me…! Just leave me to die!” He was trying so hard not to cry that his whole body started trembling. 

“No, no Eren you don’t really want that!” Jean protested.

“What do you know what I want…! I want to die…”

“Are you really gonna let them take away your freedom?” Mikasa tried.

“You’re the ones who took away my freedom. I chose to die on my own free will.” 

Once again their blood froze into their veins. But they moved forward.

“Eren, you can lean on us,” Mikasa took Eren’s hand in both his, “We will help you, in any way we can.”

“Lean on us, Eren! Do not give up on your life!” Marco pleaded.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore…” Eren wasn’t refraining his tears anymore.

“You won’t be! Even if they take you away, even if you have to live in a group house, we’ll come visit you.” Armin assured him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He said, disdainful.

“We will keep it!” Armin insisted, “We will do anything to help you, anything…! You just need to ask.”

And so, he did ask. He asked for the only thing he truly wanted in that moment, “Can you leave me alone with Marco?”

There was so much fragility in those pleading eyes, in his voice that was so close to crack. It had costed him a lot to ask that, to show this vulnerable side of himself. 

“Of course.”

They were more than happy to leave him with Marco. Of course, they would have been happier if Eren had wanted to have them there too, but Marco was his boyfriend after all. The only one who was really able to comfort him in trying times. And they were glad he was finally letting someone help him.

“Guys,” He called before they left, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry that I said those things…” He said as he buried his face into the pillow, ashamed.

Jean ruffled his hair, “It’s okay, dude.”

“Yeah, don’t think about it.” Mikasa and Armin too proceeded to reassure him.

As soon as they left, Eren raised himself back to a sitting position, holding the pillow in his lap. He tried drying his tears with his hand, but he was shaking. Marco held his hand gently by the wrist, bringing it down. Then, he did what he couldn’t do and tried his tears in his place.

“I’m so sorry, babe…”

“Eren, it’s okay… you’re in pain. I know you didn’t really mean those things. You don’t really want to die. It was just a cry for help.”

“Marco, I… I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for hurting all of you…! It know it’s selfish, but I don’t regret what I did. I really wanted to die. There is no future for me.”

“Of course there is! You may not see it now Eren, but there is a way out of this. Trust me on this one.”

“Just tell me what’s the point. What’s the point in living if I’m either alone in a group home, or here getting ra- urgh!!” Eren buried his face in the pillow, letting out a frustrated groan.

“If you want to scream and cry into that pillow, do it. Do it to your heart’s contents, Eren. I know you have so much pain and rage inside you… you just need to let it out. I know you’ll feel better if you do.”

Eren raised his eyes from the pillow, keeping his mouth still hidden behind it.

“Marco… there is one thing I haven’t told you…”

“Is it about Erwin?”

Eren’s eyes widened in shock, “How do you…?”

“Me and the others were just talking about it the other day… Jean believes something happened. He told me you were really pissed at the Professor. And Armin seemed to know something about it.”

“Something did happen…” He said, hugging his pillow tightly.

“Oh… I’m so sorry I didn’t notice anything… that day in class, I thought you were just taking your rage out on him. I couldn’t imagine he did something to you…”

“He did…I told Armin first because… because…”

Marco gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, finding his concerns to be a bit silly.

“It’s okay Eren, it really doesn’t matter who you told first.” He didn’t care if he wasn’t the first to know, he surely wasn’t going to be jealous of Armin. But he couldn’t imagine that Eren’s concerns were others.

“I didn’t want you to know!” He confessed, “I didn’t want you to know I’m a filthy whore!”

“Eren…! You’re not anything of the sort, why would you say something like that…?”

“Because I am! I let him… I let him…!” The boy was shaking, his voice coarse, his breathing becoming uneven. Marco went to take a glass of water from the tray and handed it to his trembling boyfriend. 

“Eren, calm down, okay honey? Here, drink a little water first.”

The boy did as he was told, he took the glass into his hands and tried to even out his breath, before starting to drink. Once he had calmed down, he knew it was time for him to tell yet another piece of the story. One he only wanted to let fall into oblivion. Which was what he had tried to do back in that bathtub. But all his attempt did was bring it back to the surface with violence. If he didn’t let it out, it was going to haunt him forever.

“He knew about my situation at home… He knew from the start. I told him everything about it because I trusted him. He falsified some documents, so that I could go back to school, without anyone knowing I was an orphan with no guardians…”

Marco wasn’t sure he was following. He already knew something like that must’ve happened, when Eren told him the truth about his situation. For him to be able to attend school, someone must’ve taken care of that problem. And it wasn’t hard to imagine it had been Erwin, knowing that he was the one to help Eren getting into cram school first and then with his reinstatement. Sure, what Erwin did was illegal, but it had been a great help to Eren.

“Eren… what he did was bad, and illegal. But that doesn’t explain what he did to you.”

“He… he said that… he would call the social services on me if I… If I didn’t do as he said.”

Now he was seriously starting to get scared. And obviously enraged. Blackmail. did Erwin Smith seriously blackmail Eren? He never thought the man was capable of something like that. But what could he have possibly wanted from Eren? From an orphan with no money, with nothing? What could a rich and successful man like Erwin want from him?

Marco gulped down as a cold sweat run down his temple, “If you didn’t do what?” 

Eren clenched the sheets, biting down on his trembling lips as tears started rolling down his cheeks. Marco took both Eren’s hand in his own, to give him strength.

“It’s okay honey… it’s okay. He can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t get in here. It’s just you and me.”

“He… he wanted sex, from me…! And I…! I let him…!” He broke down crying before finishing the sentence. Marco wrapped his arms around him, letting him rest his head in the crook of his neck.

“Hush… hush my love… he won’t hurt you anymore… He can’t hurt you. You’re here with me now…”

The brunet had been weeping in the tall boy’s arms until his head started hurting and his throat was scratched raw. Marco had been crying silent tears as well, from the pain it caused him to see Eren in that state, but also for the relief he felt in seeing how he was letting him help him. He was sharing his pain with him. And if by doing so Eren could be saved from himself, then Marco would gladly welcome that pain as his own.

If Eren could be saved, then carrying around a little hurt couldn’t be all that bad.

*

After a few minutes passed, Eren cries had slowly subdued, and now he was letting Marco cradle him in his arms while sitting in a comfortable silence.

“I’m a selfish whore. I don’t even know how you’re not disgusted by me.” He said in a feeble voice.

Marco clicked his tongue in compassion, “It wasn’t your fault Eren, you were raped.”

“What about Yelena then?”

“We’d talked about Yelena already. Honey, nothing of what happened to you it’s your fault. Stop talking ill of yourself, you’re not a whore, you’re not selfish, and you’re not a bad person. You’re a good person who went through a lot of awful stuff. But you’re still alive, you’re still here. With me. With us. And we’re not going away, ever.”

Suddenly, everything Eren was saying in his semi-unconscious state the previous night was starting to make sense.

_I don’t want him to touch me anymore._

_That devil must burn in hell._

He was referring to Erwin and what he had done to him. Eren had been through a lot, but it was Erwin who pushed him to the edge. It was because of Erwin, that Eren had tried to do what he had tried to do. And Marco was never going to forgive the man for that. And he wasn’t going to forget either. He would have no rest until that devil payed for everything he had done to his Eren.

“We need to tell the police.”

“What would that solve?”

“That he pays for what he did to you! Eren, think about it; you never reported him because you were scared you’d go into a group home. But now that it’s happening, you might as well bring him down with you.”

“They wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

“After what you’ve tried to do? They have to!”

Eren shut his eyes tight, letting off a deep sigh as he snuggled up on Marco’s chest.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell the police yet. It was hard enough to tell you and Armin.”

“You will when you feel ready, Eren. I won’t pressure you. I will always be your ally, Eren. Always.”

Eren kissed him softly on the chest, wallowing in his caresses and his back rubs. And the more Marco rubbed his back, the more his eyes became heavy, and he yawned loudly.

“Marco… I’m sleepy…”

“It’s okay. Sleep, my love.” 

Eren laid on his side again, closing his eyes as his head hit the pillow, while Marco tucked him in. He stayed with him, caressing his hair, until the brunet was sound asleep. 

*

In the meantime, Jean, Mikasa and Armin were sitting in the corridor, trying to hearten one another.

“It’s not going to be easy, but he will be alright. There’s a therapist to help him, we just need to be next to him through it all…” She said.

Somehow, Jean had believed that saving Eren from bleeding out had been the hardest part, and that when it was over they could finally breathe in relief. But he just realized, that was just the start of the journey. The way to save Eren was going to be a long and rocky road.

“I know. But even if he does get better, nothings guarantees he will be in Orvud. It’s just like he said, he’ll be alone again. It can’t be good on his mental health.”

Armin felt so frustrated, “There must be something we can do…!”

“Didn’t you guys said you went to Liberio to find Zeke?” Jean asked.

“Yeah, but it didn’t go well.”

“That monkey was a fucking asshole.” Mikasa said, bluntly.

“Do you think there are no hopes at all? What if we tried again?”

“I don’t know... You could try if you want, Jean. But he’s going to throw you out like he did with Mikasa and me.”

“Uhm… excuse me, is this Eren Jäger’s room?” They were asked by a woman who appeared to be in her early thirties. She was elegantly dressed, with long brown hair pulled in a high bun. Her eyes were of a beautiful shade of green, but they were bloodshot and filled with tears. She was holding a bouquet of pink geraniums and red roses in her hands.

“It is,” Mikasa confirmed, crossing her arms, “And you are?”

“I’m Faye Jäger… Eren’s aunt.”

Armin and Mikasa looked at each other, their eyes bright, their smiles wide and their cheeks colored of a bright pink. Jean too was looking at her like she was a savior. It was truly a miracle. An unforeseen blessing, a manna from heaven they were hoping for, but not in the least expecting it. Mikasa couldn’t refrain herself from hugging the woman, who stared at her in a wide-eyed confusion.

“Are you Eren’s friends…?”

“Yes, we are!” Mikasa said as she pulled away, “Oh thank god! You’re here to take Eren’s custody, right?”

“That is my intention… if he’ll still want to see me.” She said, looking down at the flowers in her hands.

“Of course he will!”

“Just, not now, if you don’t mind,” Armin asked of her, meekly, “He asked to remain alone with his boyfriend.”

“I’m sure he’ll make an exception for his aunt that he hasn’t seen in six years.” Jean said.

They were interrupted by Marco stepping out of Eren’s room. He closed the door behind him carefully, before turning to the people in the corridor.

“Hey, how is he?” Jean asked him.

“He’s doing a bit better. He’s sleeping now.” Then, he noticed Faye next to Mikasa, “Uhm, hello?”

“Marco, this woman is Eren’s aunt, Faye.” Mikasa told him, enthusiastically. Marco’s eyes started sparkling with joy and hope as he gave her a warm smile.

“You’re truly his Aunt?”

“I am…”

Marco smiled with his whole being. His eyes lit up with joy and relief, as he took her free hand to hold it with both his.

“It’s really a pleasure to finally meet you. Eren told me a lot about you.”

The last thing the brunette had expected was to be received by so many smiling people. She couldn’t help feeling that she didn’t deserve all that kindness. All she deserved was to be shunned for her sin.

“Eren has very fond memories of you. He keeps a picture of you and him when he was little on his bedside table.” Marco told her.

“He does…? Oh, my poor baby… How could I abandon him like that?”

“Don’t blame yourself, Mrs. Faye. The situation was complicated.”

Faye gave him a sad smile, “You seem like a very nice guy. I’m glad Eren has someone like you next to him… But I am at fault, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. When I was very young, I made the mistake of marrying a man who was rich and handsome, but had no soul nor heart.”

“Eren told us about it. He said your husband didn’t want to take him in, so he refrained you from adopting him.”

The ravenette couldn’t hold her tongue, “What a piece of fucking shit.” 

“Mikasa!” Armin reproached her.

“No, she’s right. He was a real piece of shit. And I never had the courage to stand up to him. I should’ve never let him keep me away from my nephew… I was the only family he had left, and I failed him…”

Marco gave her a reassuring pat on the back, “You’re here for Eren now, that’s all that matters.”

“When I divorced six months ago, the first thing I did was asking for Eren’s custody, but the social services said he had run away, that he vanished without a trace… ever since then, I’ve been looking for Eren day and night! Do you perhaps know what happened to him? How did he just… disappear? And why did he try to…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“It’s a long story,” Jean intervened, “Eren will tell you about it once he gets a little better.”

“How did you find out he was here?” Armin asked, curious.

“I found this letter in my mail this morning…” She said, taking out of her bag the letter Eren had wrote her for them to read. Marco took it and read it aloud. Eren had deemed himself as selfish for what he had tried to do. But in the letters he had written to both him and his aunt, he was anything but selfish. In his aunt’s letter, he had told her to think of herself, to leave her husband and be happy. He never once blamed her, or asked her why she wasn’t there for him. He only told her that he loved her and missed her, and that he wanted her to be happy.

“I got so scared, I called every hospital in town and they told me he was here.”

“You should go see him.” Marco told her with a compassionate smile.

“I don’t want to disturb him if he’s asleep…”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to see you when he wakes up.”

*

Eren was asleep, laying on his back. He was giving her back to her, so she couldn’t see his face. She tiptoed next to him, then left the flowers on his bedside table, then leaned forward to see his face.

He was sleeping like a little angel. He was paler than she remembered, skinnier, but he still had the same angel face he had as a child when he was asleep. His traits were of course different, the baby fat was gone, leaving space to a well-defined jawline, chin, and cheekbones. Her sweet little nephew had turned into a handsome young man. 

She deeply regretted not being there to see him transform in his teen years. 

She deeply regretted not being there to hold his hand during those years that were hard for any teenager, but most of all for Eren that had been through hell and back.

But it was no use to think of the past. What she needed to do was focusing on Eren’s future.

The lad smiled in his sleep when the scent of those geraniums and roses filled his nostrils. It evoked the best memories in him. The woman stroked the boy’s chocolate’s locks with tenderness.

“Mom…” He mumbled in his sleep. Faye’s lips trembled, as she kept cuddling him in his sleep. That’s what she should’ve been for him when his own mother died. Instead, she was too much of a coward to stand up against her heartless husband. 

Eren started waking up, while Faye kept caressing his hair.

“Marco?” Having no answer, Eren slowly raised himself to a sitting position, and who he found beside his bed wasn’t his boyfriend. It was the last person he had expected to see.

“Auntie Faye…?” His eyes widened, his lips parted as if he had seen a ghost.

“Eren, little one… I’m so sorry it took me this long.”

She didn’t even have the courage to look at him in his big round eyes. Green eyes that betrayed so much pain. But Eren threw his arms around her, “I’ve missed you so much, Auntie Faye!”

After the initial shock, Faye put her arms around her nephew, hugging him back as she sobbed.

“I’m so sorry I’ve abandoned you…! You went through all of this because of me!”

“It’s not your fault, Auntie…! I don’t blame you…!”

They stayed hugged tight to one another until someone flung the door open.

“We made you stew!” Sasha and Connie said in unison, as they walked in, the girl carrying a thermal bag. From the outside, the others had been uselessly trying to refrain them from coming in. Failing in their mission, they decided to join them inside.

“Sasha? Connie?” Eren said, confused.

“We couldn’t let you eat that hospital mush they call food. So we went back to my place and made you some stew.” Sasha explained.

“Thank you so much, guys… Suddenly, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

Connie tilted his head, feigning confusion, “We brought you this delicious stew and yet you wanna eat Jean?”

“Hey!”

Everyone, minus the poor Faye who didn’t understand the inside joke, started laughing. It was the first time that day they had seen Eren laughing, and they felt like they had completed the most rewarding of missions.

*

It was already a week since Eren had been hospitalized. The wounds on his arms were healing well, he had been lucky he didn’t touch any nerve or tendon, so both his arms retained their complete functionality. The doctors were more concerned about his mental health, that’s why he had spent the whole week working on his traumas with the therapist assigned to him. At first, it had been hard for her to get him to open up, but in the end Eren had started collaborating.

Eren’s hospital room was full of balloons, flowers, cards, stuffed toys, and other gifts. Jean’s mom used to send him home-baked goodies every other day. Levi had come to visit him with Hanji more than once, and the first time he had brought him soap, shampoo, and other toiletries. He said that he knew by experience that the ones provided by the hospital were shit. He seemed to hold the same opinion about the hospital’s toiletries that Sasha had about the hospital’s food. Hanji had brought him notes for the lessons he had missed, and also some adventure books to read for fun.

She had been the only teacher to bring him a gift, the others only send him schoolwork and get-well cards. The only other teacher who had sent him something, was Erwin. But Eren had thrown his flowers, card, and even the notes from his lessons into the trash. He didn’t want to have anything that reminded him of that devil.

The whole school had sent him get well wishes and presents, even the guys who weren’t from his class. He had never really realized just how popular he was in school. For being a boy without family, he did receive a lot of love. It made all the medical staff wonder how someone like him could ever arrive to the point of trying to commit suicide.

They couldn’t know the pain of his past. They couldn’t know about the loneliness of having no family, the bullying in the group home, the sexual assaults he constantly had to endure, the vile threats, everything he had suffered.

That was only between him and his therapist, Mrs. Edelhoff. Sometimes, his aunt Faye took part in their sessions. She broke out crying more than once while Eren was recounting everything that had happened to him. Mrs. Edelhoff was glad to offer some support to Faye too, during her sessions with Eren, and even proposed to her to get her own sessions. The poor woman suffered from extreme guilt, especially after hearing Eren had been sexually assaulted in his school. The brunet had told his therapist about the assault, but he hadn’t told her his name. He wasn’t ready to report him yet, he wasn’t emotionally prepared to go through a trial. Mrs. Edelhoff said it was okay, that he needed to elaborate on his traumas before taking legal actions. _One step at a time_, she used to say.


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, I'm sorry it took so long. This summer has been so hellish so far that I forgot I needed to add this last chapter. I hope you will enjoy and that I managed to write a satisfying ending.  
Enjoy :)

It wasn’t easy for any of them to go to school every day, having to look at their Professor in the eyes, after learning from Eren what he had done to him.

Erwin behaved like nothing had happened. Like their whole world hadn’t just stopped because of him. Like Eren didn’t end up in a hospital because of him. Like one of their dearest friends hadn’t almost died because of him.

Having to sit there, listening to him going on about his lectures, was the hardest thing they had ever done. 

Mikasa’s jaws had been clenched for so long, they were starting to hurt. Her gritted teeth were starting to hurt. But the girl didn’t heed her own pain, too great was the rage she felt toward the man. She had broken the tenth pencil that morning, wishing she could plant the sharpened point in the back of his neck.

“Mikasa, please calm down.” Sasha murmured to her, putting a hand on her arm to give it a reassuring squeeze.

“I wanna fucking kill him…” Mikasa mumbled through gritted teeth, breaking yet another pencil. Armin, who was in the desk in front of her, turned around to face her, taking her hand in his own.

“Mikasa, endure. He’s not going to walk free forever.” He assured to the girl.

“Arlert, Braus, Ackerman, stop chatting. This is not the time.” Their Professor reprimanded them, and that was the last straw for Mikasa.

"I can't do this anymore. I can’t stand it!"

“Ackerman, go back to your desk.”

But the girl was unbothered, she headed straight to the door, slamming it behind her once she got out.

“Ackerman!”

Before he could go after her, Sasha too got up from her seat, leaving without saying a word.

“Braus, no one gave you the permission to go after her!” Erwin said, affronted that his authority was being defied.

“Guys, I can’t stand it either, do we leave too?” Connie asked to Jean and Marco. As an answer, the two boys picked up their backpacks and the three of them headed for the door, followed by Armin.

“This insubordination won’t be tolerated! I’m bringing all of you to the Principal.”

“Try us, dick!” Jean flipped him off, giving his back to him.

This caused a general uproar among their classmates. Some of them couldn’t stop laughing, others were completely baffled at how disrespectful they were being.

“Silence!” Erwin yelled and the students regained their composure, not having the same courage of defying him like their classmates did. The blond man decided he would’ve dealt with the recusants later, and for the time being, he would just resume the lesson like nothing happened.

“Go to page 187.”

*

“Maybe we shouldn’t have left like that. If we get detention, we won’t be able to visit Eren this afternoon.” Armin said that same day at lunch break, thinking over the consequences of their action.

Mikasa scoffed, “Like I’m gonna accept detention if it’s that devil who gives it to us.”

“Yeah.” Sasha agreed, as she sank her teeth in her sandwich.

He had no authority over them anymore. They couldn’t follow the rules of someone they didn’t respect.

“Are you guys going to see Eren?” Thomas, who was walking by with his lunch tray, asked, “Can you please bring him my card?”

“And mine!”

“Mine too!”

Mina and Samuel joined too.

“Guys, I’m sure you’ll make Eren very happy if you gave them to him personally.” Marco told them.

“Yeah, you should come with us this afternoon!” Armin said, enthusiastically, but his wide smile suddenly disappeared as he saw Erwin Smith approaching their table.

“You’re not going to go anywhere this afternoon. You’ve got detention.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. Connie slurped his apple juice loudly, Sasha licked her greasy fingertips. Armin and the others looked uninterested as well. No way they were spending the afternoon in detention, they didn’t care what he said.

“But don’t worry, I’ll go visit Eren in your place and send him your cards and wishes.”

They all turned their heads to him, appalled. Rage clouded Jean’s judgement. In an instant, several pictures flashed before his eyes; Eren in that bloody bathtub, Eren with his arms slashed, the rush to the hospital, Marco crying desperately. He jumped from his seat, his hands aimed at Erwin’s neck. Marco got up just in time to hold him back. Angry tears fell down his freckled cheeks. He hated having to hold Jen back, he would’ve killed the man with his own hands if he could, but he had to be reasonable and think of the consequences.

“You’re not gonna get close to him! You’re not gonna fucking touch him with a ten feet pole!” He yelled, leaving everyone in the cafeteria, completely speechless. They stared at the scene completely dumbfounded.

“What is wrong with you, Kirschtein?” Erwin remained impassible. That fueled the boy’s anger even more.

“What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with _me_?!! What’s wrong with YOU, you sick fuck!”

“Hey, hey! That’s enough!” Levi, who had rushed to the cafeteria after hearing all the yelling, interposed between the boy and the professor.

“I think we all need to calm down, here. Come with me, Kirschtein.”

When it came to Levi, Jean obeyed without a single complain, dealing a great damage to Erwin’s ego. They all couldn’t help it. They respected Levi, just as they did in their past life. He had always helped them, whenever he could, with little favors they had asked him. He had even been so sweet to Eren, when he found him crying on several occasions. The brunet himself had told them those stories, and they couldn’t say they were surprised. Levi was the same as his past self, he had just lost that harsh coldness he used to have.

It was impossible not to respect and feel affection for the man, who had almost become an older brother for all of them.

*

Levi had brought him in the teacher’s staff room. He had prepared the boy a cup of chamomile tea, to help him calm his nerves a little. After he seemed to have calmed down, Levi started with the questions.

“What happened there? What got you so mad?”

“Nothing…” Jean stared at the bottom of his empty cup.

"Jean, does Erwin have anything to do with what happened to Eren?”

“How did you…?”

“I’ve seen how you all look at him. And I’ve seen Eren throw away the gifts Erwin send him. If he did something to him, please tell me. Let me know how I can help.”

Jean knew he wanted to help. But what could Levi possibly do in this situation? He was just a janitor, and Erwin was a rich and powerful man. He even doubted Eren reporting him could do much. His aunt had money, but where they going to be enough against fame and power? He knew there were going to be people defending him just because he had convinced everyone of being a respectable man. Appearances were everything in this cruel world.

“There’s not much you can do…” He said, bitterly.

“Let me be the judge of that.”

Jean looked into his eyes with his bright ones, then his gaze went back to his empty cup.

"He raped him.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed. He run a hand through his hair, trying to process the information.

“Oh god… shit….”

“To be more precise… He coerced him into having sex with him, in multiple occasions.” He said, despondently.

“That piece of fucking…!” Levi took a deep breath, before continuing, "Eren didn't report him?"

"He says he's not ready yet. His therapist also thinks it won't be good for him to go through a trial right now."

"Understandably. He's been through enough already,” Levi got up from his seat, putting a hand on Jean’s shoulder, “Go back to your friends now. I know it’s hard, but for now you’ll have to just bite the bullet."

“I know…”

“Try not to get detention. For Eren’s sake.”

*

That same evening, Erwin Smith was found behind the school, covered in his own blood. Both his legs had been broken, as well as a good number of his ribs, which punctured his lungs and other organs.

Whoever had done it, wanted to inflict a great deal of pain, without however killing him.

Jean knew it had been Levi, he just knew it. The raven haired would never admit it, but they were all dead sure it was him. Erwin didn’t name his assaulter, claimed he didn’t see him clearly. He was probably too scared to name him. Jean and the others couldn’t say they felt bad about it, but they couldn’t feel any joy either.

The only fear they had, was that man would’ve been brought to the same hospital Eren was being taken care of. Fortunately, the man had chosen a private clinic.

School had been easier for them, from that day forward.

*

Like every day after Eren had been hospitalized, the whole squad went straight to the hospital instead of going home, after school. They kept Eren company and it also gave time to his aunt to rest and take care of herself. While Armin and Mikasa were in the main hall, getting snacks for everyone at the dispenser, Armin noticed two familiar faces at the reception.

“Mikasa, are those…?”

There was a young man with a woman in her forties, asking the receptionist for something they couldn’t quite catch. They were both wearing sunglasses, and the woman was wearing a silk headscarf. But even like that, it wasn’t hard for Mikasa and Armin to recognize the two to be Zeke and Dina Fritz.

“I don’t believe it. What are they doing here? Could it be that they changed their minds?” Armin looked at Mikasa with hopeful eyes.

“Let’s go talk to them.” She said.

Armin nodded and they both approached the two, who had left the reception and were now heading for one of the many corridors.

“Mister Zeke?” Armin called for his attention as they finally caught up to them. The man turned around, removing his sunglasses, revealing to be exactly who they thought he was.

“Armin, Mikasa, we meet again. I want to apologize for the way I treated you, that day. A lot of people have tried to fraud me and my mom ever since I became famous, it made me lose faith in people.”

“What happened, why did you change your mind?” Mikasa inquired, wanting to understand the situation clearly.

“You left this picture at our house, remember?” Dina said, taking out of her bag the lost framed photo of Eren’s dad.

“Oh, Eren will be so happy to see it again!” Armin exclaimed, the burden of having lost it finally lifting from his chest.

“So you came all the way here just to bring this back?” Mikasa asked.

“No, my mom recognized the man in the photo. She confirmed he was indeed my father.”

Armin and Mikasa exchanged a brief look at each other.

“If so, why did it take so long for you to come here?” Mikasa’s tone was almost reproachful, but even so, she couldn’t refrain her lips from curling into a smile.

“We hired a private detective to find Eren,” Dina started explaining, “But he couldn’t find a single trace. He was like, vanished. It was only when he tried to… do what he did, that he could find him. Then the police told us everything that poor boy went through…” She finished, resting her head on her son’s shoulder.

“But that is all over. He’s my little brother, and I’m here to take care of him.”

“Thank you… thank you for coming back for him.” Armin said, his bright eyes brimming with gratitude.

“You don’t have to thank me, he’s my family, and I can’t wait to meet him.” Zeke had tears in his eyes and the softest smile they had ever seen on him. Mikasa felt like her rage lead her to judge him too fast. After all, it was understandable that he didn’t believe them went they told him the story. But after knowing for sure he had a younger brother, he didn’t hesitate for a second in coming to his aid.

*

“Checkmate!” Connie proclaimed, triumphantly. 

“Aw, man! You must be cheating at this.” Eren whined.

The boy shrugged, “It’s just natural talent, Eren. Nothing you can do.”

Sasha snickered, “Eren’s just letting you win because he’s too nice.”

“No, he’s not!” He protested, “Eren, tell ‘em!”

Before the brunet could say anything, the door spread open, revealing Armin and Mikasa back from their trip to the dispenser. The weird thing was, they had no snacks with them.

“Eren, you have visitors.” Mikasa announced, and so her and Armin moved from the door to let in the two people that were with them. Zeke was the first to enter, taking off his sunglasses and smiling warmly to a confused Eren.

“Zeke Fritz...? The baseball player?!” Marco exclaimed, recognizing him.

“That’s me. But don’t get too excited, you’ll soon find out I’m a pretty ordinary person.” 

_And also your future brother in law_, Armin added in his mind, smiling to himself.

“If you guys could leave us alone with Eren, we would really appreciate it.” Dina said, and they all left the room without protesting, knowing well what they had to say to Eren. The only one confused, aside from Eren himself, was Marco.

“We’ll explain to you later.” Jean whispered to him on their way out.

Dina and Zeke sat on the table with him. The woman gave Eren a reassuring smile, “You must be so confused dear, wondering why two strangers came here to visit you.”

Eren scratched the back of his neck, “Y-Yeah, a little bit. So, if you could tell me who you are, since you already seem to know me…”

“My name is Zeke, and she’s my mother, Dina. Eren, there’s something really important me and my mother must tell you. What we’re about to tell you is… mind-blowing. It will change your life. And ours too.”

The more they talked, the more Eren got confused.

“First of all, we want to give you back something that belongs to you.” Dina searched through her bag, taking out the framed picture of Grisha Jäger and handing it back to Eren. The boy took it, almost feeling like crying from the joy, when he saw what it was. Not even the confusion could overshadow his happiness.

“I thought this was lost forever…! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Seeing the sheer delight on Eren’s face made both Zeke and Dina’s hearts warm. They had only just met him, but that boy had already captured their hearts. They had never seen anyone smile so brightly.

“I gave this to a friend of mine, and he lost it… Where did you find this?” Eren asked, astounded.

“It’s a long story. We’ll have all the time to tell you in the future.” Zeke said.

“I guess you didn’t come all the way here just to bring me this back, right?”

“Indeed. That man in the picture, he is your father, isn’t he?”

“Yeah! This was taken the day he became doctor…”

Zeke took Eren’s hand in his, “Eren, your father… was also my father.”

Eren’s eyes darted from Zeke to Dina, “W-What?”

The brunet smiled, but he couldn’t tell whether it was from nervousness or for the happy news.

“You and Zeke are brothers.” Dina confirmed, nodding her head.

“No, there must have been a mistake,” Eren said, politely, “I would’ve known if I had a brother, my father would’ve told me.”

“Eren, dear… your father never knew about Zeke. I was married when I met your father… he didn’t know about it. But when he found out, he cut all contacts with me. He was a man of honor, your father. But by losing contacts with him, I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant.”

“I’m sorry Dina, but… how can you be sure Zeke is the son of my father and not your ex-husband?” He really hoped he didn’t offend Dina with his question, but the woman didn’t seem to have taken it as an offence, more like a legit question, as she answered without any problem.

“My husband found out about the affair, and wanted a DNA test. It turned out the baby wasn’t his, and we divorced after that. I would’ve loved for you and Zeke to grow up together. I’m so sorry that didn’t happen, Eren…” She said, as she caressed Eren on his cheek. A smile that went from ear to ear spread on Eren’s face, as he looked at Zeke with bright eyes.

“You’re my brother…? I have a big brother…!”

Zeke got up from his seat and went to hug him, something he had been waiting to do since the first moment he saw him. Eren couldn’t believe it. All those years that he spent dreaming about this moment, and now it was finally happening. A little late, but Zeke was there, in flesh and bones. His older brother. He kept chanting the word in his head, it sounded so sweet. _Brother. Brother. Brother._

“We’re going to make up for the lost time, little brother. I promise you.” He told him as he kissed the top of his head.

“I used to be alone for so long… and now I have a family again…”

“You do. And you will always have us.”

Dina got up from her seat as well, to wrap her arm around her son and Eren.

“Yes, Eren. I know I’m not related to you in any way, but you’re Zeke’s little brother, so you’re already family to me. I hope with time you will learn to trust me too.”

“Thank you, Dina.” 

The door opened and Faye came in, only to see two people that she didn’t recognize hugging her nephew.

“Hello?” She greeted, confused. Eren looked at her with his bright smile.

“Aunt Faye, sit down. We have a story to tell you.”

*

Eren was playing a tabletop game with Zeke after the daily session with his therapist, when Jean and Armin entered his room.

“We bring news from the outside world.” Armin proclaimed as they entered.

“I hope they’re good news.” Eren said.

“Erwin Smith turned himself in.”

It was supposed to be a good news, but Eren was just in shock.

“What…? Why would he do that?”

“He’s probably did it to get a reduced sentence,” Jean hypothesized, “He knew it was only a matter of time before you talked, now that your aunt and your brother showed up.”

Jean also had another hypothesis. After Levi’s little vendetta, the man probably felt safer behind bars rather than out there, with the risk of getting beaten up again.

Zeke put a hand on his little brother’s shoulder, “If that piece of shit thinks he can get away with what he did so easily, he’s dead wrong. My lawyers will make sure he ends up in prison for a long, long time.”

Eren looked up at his brother with glassy eyes, “Thank you, Zeke…”

The blond looked down at his brother sweetly, “You don’t have to worry about a thing, Eren. Your big brother is here to take care of you now.”

*

Zeke had maintained his promise. Thanks to his lawyers, Erwin Smith was condemned to twenty years of prison, without even withstanding a trial. As soon as his injuries healed, he was locked behind bars.

Eren had felt relieved. Not happy, but relieved. That devil had been deprived of the most precious thing a human can have: Freedom. The very same one he threatened to take away from Eren.

He couldn’t have asked for a fairer sentence.

*

Eren and Marco were walking in the hospital’s garden, Eren hugging his boyfriend’s arm while they were strolling. The brunet was so tired of the same white walls, even if they were adorned by all the gifts he had received. That one hour of the day when he was allowed to go outside, was the most awaited moment of his day. Eren was in a buoyant mood.

“Everything is so surreal. Not only I got my aunt back, I also found out I have a brother.”

“I’m so happy for you, honey. They both seem to be lovely people. Zeke’s mom too. I’m glad you found a family like this.”

“Me too.” He said, beaming. Eren couldn’t stop smiling. He was going back to be the one he always was.

“Zeke asked me and Auntie Faye to go live with him in Liberio. My therapist said it would do me good to have a fresh start somewhere else, but I’m not sure I want to leave.”

It wouldn’t be good for anyone’s mental health, having to go in the place where you got raped every single day.

“Eren, you should go live with your brother.”

“Are you sure, Marco? We won’t be able to see each other every day anymore…”

“I know… And I’d miss you terribly. But I only want what’s best for you… Think of all the opportunities you’ll have in Liberio. Think of all the prestigious universities they have there. And plus, you’ll make up for the lost time with your brother.”

“A part of me wants to go… but a part of me wants to stay…”

“I know it’s a hard decision, but I will accept whatever you will chose.”

Eren kissed him on the mouth, his lips lingering there.

“Thank you…” He said as he finally pulled away. He heard the sound of people running getting closer to him, but he was too concentrated on Marco’s face to care to turn back and see who those fast steps belonged to.

“Eren!”

He was assaulted by multiple hugs from behind. The first had been Historia, then Sasha and then Mikasa. They almost made him fall forward, but he just couldn’t be mad at those goofballs. He laughed with them, as they had laughed together many times before.

“Hey there buddy!” Jean said as he ruffled his hair.

“I brought you today’s notes!” Armin beamed with the books in his hands.

Was he really ready to leave them behind? To leave for an unknown land? But on the other hand, there was a brother waiting for him on the other side of the ocean. He had to come back in Liberio for work, leaving Dina behind to take care of him, but he had promised to come back as soon as he could. 

He had known him for a short period of time, but Eren already missed his older brother. And he longed so much to know him better, to make up for the lost years. It was hard, and it had costed him a lot, but he had taken his decision.

~ Five years later ~

Eren Jäger had turned into a fine young man. When he first arrived in Marley, he had two years of school to recuperate. But thanks to his hard work, he actually managed to graduate one year earlier than people his age.

He was the apple of his big brother’s eyes, who used to shamelessly spoil him and spent any free time he had with him. Eren and Zeke had formed a close sibling relationship, and with Zeke being ten years older than Eren, he had become a mentor for him, almost like a father figure. One that was real, caring, and his love was unconditional.

Over the years, he had kept seeing a therapist. Working on overcoming his traumas had taken years, but now he had finally found his peace and happiness, thanks to the help of his families, blood and found.

He kept in contact with the others, writing them letters once a week. When it came to Marco, the two boys stayed on the phone for hours on end. They couldn’t touch each other physically, but he had fallen in love with Marco for his heart, and that was all he truly needed.

They knew from his letters that he became friend with Reiner, Porco and the others. In the beginning, socializing had been hard for him. He was traumatized, and being in the school environment made him anxious. So anxious, that he didn’t trust any professor and he never spent more time in school that he needed to. He only did what was requested of him, studying, taking notes and nothing else.

He was too tense to talk to anybody. Which was a pity, because they were all intrigued by his exotic beauty and his mysterious persona. Pieck and Marcel had been the first ones who had tried to get him to open up, and they introduced him into their group of friends, where little by little, Eren started warming up and trust people again. He was especially close to the Galliard brothers.

After graduation, Eren had been admitted into the most prestigious university in Liberio, where he studied to become a doctor like he had always wanted.

Now 21 years old, having a little free time from his studies, he decided to finally go back to the island that bore and raised him. Back to the town where he had left pieces of his heart.

His friends and him had organized a vacation at the beach, all together. A whole month of having fun together, just like the old times.

His friends were waiting for him at the docks, when the ship finally arrived on the island. He ran, he ran as fast as he could to get to the object of his affection. 

“Marco!”

He threw himself at his boyfriend, and he caught him readily. Marco, just like Eren, had gotten taller. He was now standing at six foot four, being the tallest of the group. Like Eren, he had put on a lot of muscular mass. He couldn’t believe how strong Eren had gotten. He was so frail and small last time he held him in his arms like this.

“I missed you so, so much…” Marco said, burying his face in Eren’s long hair. He almost felt like crying from joy.

“Me too…!” Eren placed kissed on Marco’s freckled shoulder, left bare by his white tank. The sun of summer shining brightly down the both of them.

“See? He saw his boyfriend and now we don’t exist.” Connie joked to the others.

“You think I’ve forgotten about you, guys? I’ll crush you all into my hugs next.” He said from over Marco’s shoulder.

He maintained his promise after separating from Marco, which didn’t take a short time.

“Connie, you got so tall!” The brunet said as he hugged his old friend.

“I know, right? And look at these muscles!” He said as he separated, showing off his biceps.

“I got more muscles than you, though.” Jean bragged.

“But you’re still a horse face.” Eren joked as he went in for a hug.

“And you’re still an ass.” They hugged tightly, with their usual affectionate bickering that they had all missed.

“Armin, you’ve gotten taller too!” Eren said as he hugged the blond.

“A little, yeah…” He said, bashfully, “But I’m still the smallest of the group.”

“You make up for it with your brains.” He ruffled his hair when they separated, making Armin blush lightly.

“You girls got even more beautiful.” He said to Mikasa, Sasha and Historia.

“Aw stop it, you!” Historia was the first to hug him.

“Welcome back home!” Mikasa said, as she hugged him, with happy tears in her eyes.

“We missed you!” Sasha cried as she basically jumped on him.

Eren had left them five years ago for Liberio, to meet his brother. Just like he had done in the past. But this time, instead of running into his own ruin, he was marching toward healing and happiness. It hadn’t been easy for them to get used to their lives without Eren, especially since they had spent less than a year together when they got him back. Even if they couldn’t have him by their side every day, they were still happy to see how he had finally gotten his deserved happy ending.

There were a million ways you could stand next to someone, even if just in spirit. It was something they had learned hard way, but in the end, it had saved Eren’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap on "I'll Be Next to You"  
If you've read this far, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. It would mean the world to me if you'd also leave a comment to tell me what you think of this story.  
Well, I don't know what else to say. This is my first snk story that I finished. I really hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you did, perhaps check out my other fics?  
Once again, thank you all for reading!


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